"My Boyfriend is English... Please, make no mistake!"

THIS IS A SPOOF! A FICTION!

(No copyright infringement intended. Thanks.)

What if the interviewer was a Nonsten ?… (Or in denial)…  How would it go?  Hmm… Let’s find out!

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Interviewer:  “So have you visited England’s majestic sites?”

KStew:  “I hope to visit these sites as my boyfriend is English.”

Interviewer:  *Frowns*  “When you said your boyfriend is English, did you mean that he speaks English?”

KStew:  *Dumbfounded*

Interviewer:  “…Or that English is his first language, yes?”

KStew:  “Um…”

Interviewer:  “Or did you mean that he loves anything English… like English muffin, perhaps?”

KStew:  *Furrows brows*

Interviewer:  “Does he like to drink English tea?”

KStew:  “He, uh...” *Shakes head*

Interviewer:  “Oh, don’t be shy.  Does your boyfriend have a name?”

KStew:  *Smiles*  “I’m sure everyone knows who he is. It’s obvious.”

Interviewer:  “Is it Taylor Lautner?”

KStew:  “Are-- Are you kidding me?”

Interviewer:  *Beams*  “So you’re finally admitting that you’re with Taylor Lautner?  The guy who plays Jacob Black in that vampire film.”

KStew:  “Taylor is not English.”

Interviewer:  “His ancestors are! I’m sure.  I’ll research on that.”

KStew:  “No.  He isn’t my boyfriend.  He is a good buddy of mine.  Taylor is also good friends with my English boyfriend.”

Interviewer:  “If Taylor Lautner is not your boyfriend, is he your fiancée?  Husband?”

KStew:  “You’re kidding, right?”

Interviewer:  “Oh, I’m sorry.  I know that you want to keep what’s important to you private but why wouldn’t you admit that you’re with Taylor Lautner.”

KStew:  “Because I’m not.  Again, my boyfriend is English.”

Interviewer:  “Fine!  So, this English boyfriend of yours… did he star in a movie with you?”

KStew:  *Sighs*  “Yes.”

Interviewer:  “Did you just shoot a movie with him?”

KStew:  “Yes.”

Interviewer:  “Why didn’t you say so?  Is it Tom Sturridge?  He’s English!”

KStew:  “Yes.  I’m well aware that Tom is English.  And Yes, I just did a movie with him, “On The Road,”  but, NO, he’s not my boyfriend.  Tom, however, is best friends with my English boyfriend.”

Interviewer:  *Exclaims excitedly*  “Oh, my god!!! Your English boyfriend is Eddie Redmayne!”