Monday, June 27, 2011

"The Truth about David & Goliath... According to R/K..."

All photos, copyrighted or not,
belong to their rightful owner/s.
No copyright infringement intended.
This is fiction.  Yeah.

Rob:  “Um, Babe, what’s wrong with Robby?”

Kristen:  “I don’t know.  He’s been quiet since breakfast.”

Rob:  “Talk to him.  He’s scowling at me.”

Kristen:  “What do you mean?”

Rob:  “He’s wearing his bitchface… The one he got from you.”

Kristen:  “Shut up!” *Laughs*

Rob*Whispers*  “Here he comes.”  *Clears throat*  “What’s going on, son.”

Rob, Jr.:  *Ignores Rob*

Rob:  “Grandma & Grandpa are coming for dinner tonight… And Uncle Tom is coming, too!”

Rob, Jr.:  *Nods*  “Okay.”  *Leaves*

Rob: “Did you see that?”

Kristen:  “Let him be.  He’s five.”

Rob:  “Well, I guess…”

Dinner Time with Grandpa & Grandma Stew and Uncle Tom

Grandma Jules:  “Robby, sweetie, are you okay?”

Rob, Jr.:  “I’m fine, grandma.  Why don’t you ask Mommy and Daddy?”  *Looks away*

Grandma Jules:  *Threw Kristen a meaningful look*  “Well, how’s everything doing?”

Rob & Kristen:  “Great!”

Rob, Jr.: “Liar…liar… pants on fire!”

Grandpa John:    “Robby, why don’t you tell us what’s going on.”

Tom:  “Ah-oh.  Trouble in paradise?”  *Sniggers*

Rob, Jr.:  *Glares at Kristen & Rob*  “If you should know, Mommy & Daddy are fighting!”

Grandma Jules:  “Kristen?  Rob?”

Rob:  “No, we’re not!”

Grandma Jules:  *Eyeing Kristen suspiciously*

Kristen:  “We’re really not!”  *Turns to Rob, Jr.*   “Honey, what are you talking about?”

Rob, Jr.:  “I heard it all!  You, two, were fighting last night.  I had a bad dream and I ran to your room but I heard you were screaming at each other!”

Grandpa John:    “Kristen? Rob? Is this true?”

Rob & Kristen:  “No!”

Rob, Jr.: “Yes, too!”

Tom:  *Smirking*  “Why don’t you tell us what you heard, buddy?”

Rob, Jr.:  “I heard daddy slapping mommy… It’s true, I heard it!”  *Close to tears*  “Then, I heard mommy yell at daddy the F-word -- the one I cannot say --”  *Chokes*  “Then, mommy was in pain because she was moaning.  And…and mommy was complaining that it was harder…”

Rob & Kristen:  “No!!!” *Trying to stop their son from taking*

Rob, Jr.:  “I want to tell the story and I am not lying, mommy!  I heard it!”

Tom:  “Go ahead buddy, continue with your story…”

Rob:  “Uh… I think Robby is tired…”

Rob, Jr.:  “No, I’m not tired…” *Sobs*  “You hurt mommy, daddy.  You even banged her against the wall… I know coz I heard it… Mommy challenged you and said, “Don’t stop! Harder!”  And you did it…”

Grandma & Grandpa Stew:  *Wide eyes*  “Oh, boy.”

Rob, Jr.:  “That’s why you can’t swim with me and my little brother this afternoon because you have scratches on your back… Come on daddy, show them, I saw it when you changed before dinner… so Grandpa, Grandma, and Uncle Tom know I’m not lying…”  *Turns to Kristen*  “And Mommy… You have bite marks on your neck and chest… And even on your thighs!  Daddy told you to cover 'em up when you were wearing that tanktop and shorts… So you changed into that!”  *Pointed at Kristen’s outfit which is Rob’s button down shirt and her skinny jeans*  “You don’t love each other anymore…” *Starts to cry*

Tom:  *Failing to contain laughter*

Grandma & Grandpa Stew:  *Dumbfounded*

Kristen:  *Stands up to gather son in her arms*  “No, honey.  Mommy and Daddy didn’t fight last night.  I love daddy very much and I will never, ever, hurt him.”

Rob, Jr.:  *Sobbing*  “Why did you scratch daddy’s back then?”

Rob:  *Sits beside wife and held son’s hand*  “Robby, I told you a million times that my love for mommy is bigger than the universe…”

Rob, Jr.:  “Yeah, right!  You bit her hard… You slapped her hard… You banged her hard on the wall…”

Tom:  “Yeah Rob… What did you do to your wife?  To Robby’s mom?  Explain please…”

Rob:  *Hisses* “Shut up, Tom”

Rob, Jr.:  *Cries Harder*  “I don’t want you to fight!!!”

Kristen:  *Embraces son tightly to her*  “Honey, Daddy and I were… Um… We weren’t fighting… We were---”

Rob:  *Interrupts*  “Loving each other!”

Tom:  “And really hard!!!”  *Guffaws*

Rob, Jr.:  “I don’t believe you… I heard it….” 

Kristen:  *Rolls eyes at Rob & Tom*  “Robby, sweetheart, you have to believe me when I say I love your daddy and daddy loves me.”

Rob, Jr.:  “And the fighting?”

Kristen: “We weren’t fighting.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Mommy that’s a lie.  You told me to always say the truth.”

Kristen:  *Coughs*  “Of course!”  *Sighs*  “Daddy was just… Um… Practicing… I was, um, helping him prepare for his role for his new movie.”

Rob, Jr.:  *Stops, then thinks*  “But daddy’s next movie is “David & Goliath” and he is playing David.  The good guy!  So how can he be mean?”

Tom:  *Now laughing hysterically*

Grandma & Grandpa Stew:  *Giggling*

Kristen:  “Of course… Because we were trying to, um, see how Goliath going to react to David!”

Rob:  *Grins proudly*  “Little David got really, really excited!”

Kristen:  *Elbows husband*  “And since your daddy forgot the script in the car… we, ah, decided to adlib…”

Rob, Jr.: *Buying the crap his mother’s telling him*  “You mean you’re just making up the words?  So David is not going to say the F-Word, huh mommy?... We’re you David last night mommy?  Were you practicing the fight scene when Goliath was trying to scare David?”

Kristen: *Sighs a sigh of relief*  “Yes!”

Rob, Jr.:  “Did you get hurt when daddy banged you against the wall?”

Kristen:  “Um, no sweetie.  I--”  *closes eyes*  “I, used lots of  pillows as my shield.”

Rob, Jr.:  *Turns to Rob*  “You didn’t really hurt mom, huh daddy?”

Rob:  “No, son.  Actually, your mom loved it!”

Kristen:  “Robert!!!”

Tom:  *Tears in his eyes as he laughs*  “David and Goliath… This is epic!”

Rob, Jr.:  *Laughs with Tom*  “Daddy, will you be practicing with mommy again tonight.”

Rob:  *Grins*  “Absolutely!!!”

Rob, Jr.:  “Can I watch, pleeeeeaaase???!!!”

Grandpa John:    “LET’S EAT!”

Grandma Jules:  “Wow, Kristen, is this a new recipe.  This is good!” *Tries to change topic*

Rob, Jr.:  “Mommy cooks really good because daddy helps her relax while she cooks, Grandma!  Daddy gives mommy a massage when he thinks me and my little brother aren’t looking.”

Grandpa John:    “Whoa! Whoa! Is that a new shirt you’re wearing, Robby?!?  Is that Superman?”

Tom:  “Best Dinner Ever!”

---The End---

This is, of course, fiction…for now…

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Mommy & Daddy have some explaining to do...

All photos, copyrighted or not,
belong to their rightful owner/s.
No copyright infringement intended.
This is fiction.  Yeah.

Rob, Jr.:  *Sulking*  “I don’t want to go to school anymore.”

Kristen:  “Sweetie, tell mommy what happened in school today?”

Rob, Jr.:  *Narrows brows*  “Teacher said I should not say things like that.”

Rob:  “Like what, son?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Well, she asked us to share something about our heroes...”

Kristen:  “And?”

Rob, Jr.:  “My friend, Timothy, said his daddy and his mommy are the greatest heroes in the world ever coz they, like, help children get better; coz they’re doctors.”

Kristen:  “Timothy admires his parents.  Which is why to him, his parents are the greatest.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Yeah…yeah…”  *Folds arms into chest*  “Then, Yi-Ching said her mommy helps feed the homeless at the Soup Kitchen downtown; and her dad runs the best Chinese restaurant, so they’re the greatest heroes.”

Rob:  “Yi-Ching’s mom is compassionate.”  *Chuckles*  “And her dad surely is a hero for helping feed those who cannot cook!”

Kristen:  *Threw husband her famous bitchface*

Rob:  *Clears throat*  “…Um, then, what happened?”

Rob, Jr.:  “So I told everyone that no one beats my heroes.”

Rob:  *Smiles*  “And who could those be?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Duh?  It’s you and mommy, silly daddy!!!”

Rob/Kristen:  *Beam proudly*

Kristen:  “And you told your class that mommy and daddy make movies?”

Rob, Jr.:  *Sighs*  “No!”

Kristen:  *Wonders*  “Why not?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Coz that’s like bragging.  Grandma Jules said that I shouldn’t brag just because you’re famous or something.”

Rob:  “What did you tell your teacher and classmates about us, Robby?”

Rob, Jr.:  “I told my class that my heroes are my mom and dad because they save lives.”

Rob/Kristen:  *Look at each other*

Rob, Jr.:  “I told everyone that mommy is a firefighter.”

Kristen:  *Dumbfounded*  “Firefighter?”  *Shakes head*  “Sweetie, why did you say that mommy’s a firefighter.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Because you are, mommy!”

Kristen:  “How do you figure that, baby?”

Rob, Jr.:   “Because you have that firefighter pole in your bedroom, and I saw you show dad how to climb up and slide down the pole... You slid down the pole upside down, mommy!  You were awesome!!!”

Rob:  *Chokes*

Rob, Jr.:  “Then, Daddy, caught you and he gave you a… um… that... thing…” *Thinks hard, then turns to Rob*  “Daddy, how do you say it again? Like those 911 people when they save people… Like when they lay down the dying person on the floor… then kinda pump the chest, and then a 911 person puts his mouth to give air to the dying person’s mouth’s so he could breathe again?”

Rob:  *Coughs*  “Um… Mouth-to-Mouth Resuscitation… Chest compression…” *Massages forehead*

Kristen:  *Mouth hanging open in surprise*

Rob, Jr.:  “So, I told everyone that my mom and dad are the best heroes in the whole wide word…”  *Stretches arms and formed circle for emphasis*  “… because you will never ever die…Ever!”

Kristen:  *Couldn’t find the words*

Rob:  “Um… Son… Mommy and daddy…”

Rob, Jr.:  *Interrupts* “… Are the best because they save each other from dying.  So me and my brothers and little sister will always have mommy and daddy… forever!”

Kristen:  *Eyes Rob.*  “…Because mommy and daddy love you very much…”

Rob, Jr.:  “Mommy, tell my teacher that I’m not making up stories… that you are a firefighter and daddy is a 911 person.  Okay?”  *Kisses his mom, then runs to play with siblings*

Kristen:  “I’m fucking taking out that pole!”

Rob:  “Oh, hell no!”

Kristen:  *Narrows eyes*

Rob:  “We’ll make sure that our door is locked!”

Kristen:  *Laughs*  “Oh, God… This is embarrassing, honey.  What are we going to tell Robby’s teacher when she talks to us tomorrow?”

Rob:  *Laughs*  “Why don’t you quit acting and home school the kids?”

Kristen:  *Raises eyebrow*

Rob:  “I’m kidding, my Sexy Firefighter!” *Kisses wife*


Rob, Jr.:  “Daddy, are you god?  Coz last night…”

Kristen:  “OH. MY. GOD!”

***Tee-Hee… Can’t wait for RobSten Babies***
***Thank you for reading***

Saturday, June 18, 2011


Pictures used in this post belong to their rightful owner/s.
No copyright infringement intended.
This is fiction.
Thank you for visiting RobSten For Life Blog...


Jella:  "I meant to ask you this for a while now…”  *Crinkles whiskers*  “Bear, what happened to mom's thumb?  You were with them in Baton Rouge when it happened."

Bear:  *Thinks hard*  "Well, mommy was on top of dad kneading his sore muscles, then daddy started making sound... The next thing I knew, mom was already under dad."

Jella:  "That didn't explain how mom hurt her thumb, Bear."  *Rolls eyes*

Bear:  "Fine.  Maybe it was when mommy was taking out the clothes from the dryer, then daddy captured her from behind, then sat her on the washer--- I guess deciding to wash some more clothes as he peeled off mom's shirt -- well, dad's shirt actually -- then her undies... then his shirt -- which wasn't mom's, in case you want to know -- then his pants..."

Jella:  "Ugh. Bear, what the hell?  That still didn’t explain mom’s injured thumb!”

Bear:   *Sighs*  “Maybe it was when they were shooting the sex scene for their movie, Breaking Dawn, when dad broke the headboard.”

Jella:  *Getting frustrated*  “Then daddy should have been the one whose thumb got hurt.”

Bear:  “Or…”

Jella:  “Yes?”

Bear:  *Shakes head*  “Maybe it was when daddy sucked and licked mom’s fingers.”

Jella:  “He does that all the time.  Think again and think harder this time, Bear.”

Bear:  *Grins*  “I still think it’s the first reason I gave you.”

Jella:  “What?  While giving daddy a massage?”

Bear:  “You know it’s not only daddy’s back that mommy massages right?” 

Jella:  *Stops to think*

Bear:  “Well?”

Jella:  *Sighs*  “…And daddy loves it when she does that.”

Bear:  “And he wants the grip tight and fast.”

Jella:  “…And that’s how mom’s thumb got hurt.” 

Bear:  “Which, by the way, didn’t stop her from giving daddy the best massage there ever!  Thank god it’s not mommy’s mouth that got hurt!!!””

Jella:  *Beams with pride*  “Best wifey in the world!”

Bear:  “THAT SHE IS!!!”



Thursday, June 16, 2011

"Love does wonder, indeed."

Pictures used in this post belong to their rightful owner/s.
No copyright infringement intended.
This is fiction.
Thank you for visiting RobSten For Life Blog...


My dearest, it’s me again. 

We’ve been back here where he is currently working for about two weeks now since our trip to the West Coast.  I guess being apart from her is taking a toll on him.  I know how he feels.  He longs for her every second and every moment.  There’s just no way one can get used to being apart from a loved one, especially from the one closest to your heart. 

Every chance he gets he’s with her talking to her or texting her.  I guess they’re ironing out details of this very special event that’s taking place in their life very soon.  That, and of course, he just couldn’t be without her.

I’ve watched him in fascination going about his daily routine; dealing with the ups and downs of his “status.”  I asked him once what kept him sane and he just smiled and said, “You mean WHO keeps me sane?”  It’s HER.  There’s nothing ordinary about his love for her, Cara; or her love for him.  I just shake my head sometimes when people question their relationship.  If anything, theirs is the most solid union I know and will ever know…

Two weeks ago, seeing them reunite after being away from each other was absolutely a beautiful sight to see.  He held her the way he meant to hold her.  And she, Cara, melted in his arms. 

Them being together is always a happy occasion.  Time isn’t ticking fast enough for them when they know they’re going to be in each other’s arms.  “Are you almost here?”  She’d ask him over the phone or via text message.  It always makes him smile.  “Soon, baby. I can’t wait.” He would respond happily.  Oh, she knows what time he was arriving.  It’s the anticipation that makes their reunion even more exciting. 

Alas! We’re there… TOGETHER, AT LAST! And, oh, what a sight to behold.  The sweetest smile curved their lips.  “Fuck” isn’t a romantic word by no means; but when muttered by them gave it such sweet meaning.  “I fucking miss you,” and “I fucking love you,” were exchanged, as usual.  The intensity of their gazes and kisses multiplied that moment.  If they fell in love even more (if that’s even possible) I wouldn’t be surprised.  As usual, he caressed her face, her hair, her arms… Kissed her face... Nuzzled her neck… adoring her.

This made her laugh.  “I’m one hundred percent me, baby,” she joked.  This only made him hold her even closer to him.  Then, she closed her eyes and whispered words only meant for him.

These past few days had been tough for him.  He worked hard day and night.  I am not going to lie, Cara, I sometimes worry about him.  Sure, he’s young and vibrant; but the craziness sometimes gets to him.  He’s only human. 

“You know you’re allowed to relax,” I told him.  

“I will when she’s home,” he responded with a smile.  

Worry.  The moment he leaves, he begins to worry.  Always about her…more so now.

Have I told you that she is as protective of him as he is of her? When she cannot reach him, she calls me.  “Is he okay?” She asks with a tinge of panic in her voice.  I always assure her that he is taken care of.  And the moment I tell him she calls?  Man, there’s no stopping the man, Cara.  He’s instantly on his phone.  “Baby, I’m here!” And the moment he hears her voice, his face and his whole body relax.   I’ve never seen anything like “it.”

I’m not trying to portray them as this perfect couple, my dearest.  I’m just saying how perfect they are for each other.   Oh, they have their moment, believe me.  She is feisty who speaks her mind.  Sometimes too independent for her own good.  And he?  Well, not many people know this but he is stubborn.  So many people believe that it is she who is stubborn.  Such a wrong assumption.   I giggle sometimes watching them having a little skirmish.  He scowls. She scowls.  He cusses.  She cusses.  Then she stops; stays quiet.  That always drives him crazy.  Before I can shout, “foreplay,” they’ve already patched things up and they’re kissing and saying, “I’m sorry. I love you.”

Well, Cara, it’s four in the morning now and we have an early start in the morning.  He’s still probably talking to her on the phone or via Skype.  That boy never rests.  But what do I know?  That girl calms him down and soothes him.  Love does wonder, indeed.

Until then, my dearest.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Jella & Bear Have Seen So Many RobSten Kisses...

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No copyright infringement intended.
This is fiction.
Thank you for visiting RobSten For Life Blog...

Bear:  "Are you also excited to hear the winner of best kiss, Jella?"

Jella:  "Nah!"

Bear:  "What? Why not?

Jella:  "I've seen mommy and daddy kiss sooooo many times.”  *crunches nose*  “Smack. Soft kiss. Hard Kiss. Wet kiss. Hungry kiss. Quiet kiss. Noisy kiss. Kiss with tongue. Kiss and biting.  Kiss like sucking. Kiss like singing…Kiss on the mouth, kiss on the face, kiss on the forehead, kiss on the neck, kiss all over the body, legs, thighs, toes, fingers, arms, back, hips, on pachachu and puchaha... Whatever…You name it, I've seen it.  I've seen them all!!!"

Bear:  "Oh. So what are you most excited to see?"

Jella:  "Dude, what else but the trailer of Breaking Dawn 1!!! Oh. My. God!!! I can't wait!!!!!"

Bear: "Really?" 

Jella:  "Hell yeah! After 3 installments of Twilight movies, and mommy & daddy as Bella and Edward... Of course I couldn't help but be a fan! I love the fandom! I love everything Twilight!"  *crunches nose* 

Bear:  "So you're an active twi-fan?"

Jella:  "Better believe it! I even have twitter and I've joined twilight and Robsten forums.  I have, like, thousands of followers on twitter. I even star in some blogs, you know.  I'm famous! I think I'm more famous than Garfield."

Bear: "Have you ever trended? I have!" *smug*

Jella: *scowls* "Oh, shut up!"

Bear: "You've heard about those Nonstens that daddy hate so much?"

Jella: "How do you know about them?  Do you have twitter?  Are you following me?"

Bear: "No! But dad has this huge needle and when he's on twitter lurking and he reads the tweets of these nonnies, he pokes them with this needle and curse at them at the same time." 

Jella:  "Dad has twitter?"

Bear:  "Jella, for a smart cat, you're dumb!"

Jella:  "Oh, shut up!  Anyway, what are you excited to see at the MTVMA?"

Bear:  "Best Kiss of course!"

Jella:  "You've never seen mommy and daddy kiss?"

Bear:  *Rolls eyes*  "Jella, I was with them in Baton Rouge.  With them in New York.  With them in Toronto... I was there when Mommy celebrated her 21 birthday and when daddy turned 25.  Like you, I've seen 'em all!  I was even there when..."  *halts*

Jella: "When what?"

Bear: *Grins* "You'll soon find out...."

Jella:  "Fine.  Don't tell me.  I'll tweet some cryptic message and maybe someone gets it; then she'll tell me what's up with mom and dad."

Bear: "You're not twitting about mom and dad, are you?"


Bear: *Quiet*

Jella:  "I have my sources.  So, stop feeling sorry for me."

Bear:  "Um… Robsten love you?”

Jella:  *Smiles*  “You know about that, too, ha?”

Bear:  *Smiles*  “Fine.  I have twitter.  I’m following you.”

Jella:  “What’s your twitter name?”

Bear:  *Whispers to Jella*

Jella:  *Eyes bulging*  “OH MY EFFING GAWD!  YOU ARE MY SOURCE!!!”

Bear:  *Gasps*  “Oh no!!! Please don’t tell mommy and daddy!”

Jella:  *Hugs Bear*  “You have my word, boy!  It’s our secret… But you gotta tell me about this thing…”

Bear:  *Tells Jella a “story.”*


Bear:  “Mm-hm…”

Jella:  “Wow!”

Bear:  “Such a happy thingee---”  *Hugs Jells*  “So… are you going with mommy and daddy to the show?”

Jella:  “Nah!  Too many people.  Loud screams.  Can’t take it!”

Bear:  “Will you watch MMA with me?”

Jella:  “Hell, yeah!  Let’s vote for Eclipse for Best Movie.  Voting is still open.”

Bear:  “I’m ahead of you. Daddy gave me this gadget to press…”

Jella:  “Oh, he gave you one, too!”

Bear:  “That’s one of the reasons why I’m excited to see Mom and Dad win Best Kiss!  I’ve invested too much time and effort to vote and I’ll freakin’ bark on MTV if Mom and Dad don’t win!”

Jella:  “Oh, they’ll win.  My twitter buddies voted like crazy for them, too!  Well, I did!”

Bear:  *Looks around*  “So… where are our parents?”

Jella:  *Rolls eyes*  “Really?  You have to ask?  You don’t have ears?  You can’t hear THAT?”

Bear:  *Sighs*  “They’re at it again, I see.”

Jella:  “You know… for a fast dog, Bear… YOU ARE SLOW!”

---The End---