Friday, November 26, 2010

JELLA'S THANKSGIVING WITH HIS FAMILY


Dear Diary,

I’m quite tired after our family gathering this Thanksgiving, so I’ll be brief.  Here are the things I’VE, OVERHEARD, LEARNED, and REALIZED THIS THANKSGIVING…

OVERHEARD:

My Dad Rob to My Mom Kristen:  *Whispering*  “Baby, turkey doesn’t make me sleepy… it makes me horny.”

Mom Kristen:  *Giggles, then kisses Dad’s lips*

Uncle Tay:  “Guys, please ! We could hear you!  Jeez!”

Uncle Cam:  *Laughing* “And we haven’t started dinner yet!  What are you, two, going to do during dessert?!?

GranpaStew:  “Um, Kristen, sweetie, can you let go of Rob for a minute, please, so we can say ‘Grace’?!?”

GrandmaStew:  “Rob, honey, hands on the table.”



THESE TOO:

1.   While curled up under the dining table, I learned that my mommy loves to pet my daddy’s crotch… A LOT!

2.  Daddy’s voice got low and husky.  He also cleared his throat a lot when mommy gripped his crotch.  Daddy also batted his eyelashes; and took him forever to respond to a question, even the simplest ones that were answerable by yes or no.

a.  This amused mommy a lot.
b.  This made Grandma and Grandpa Stew suspicious and nervous. (I heard them talking about it in the kitchen while they were by themselves).

3.  GranpaStew and GrandmaStew would look at each other every time daddy and mommy feed, then, kiss each other. (Like every bite!)

a.  This made GrandmaStew happy and even silently mutters, “pretty grandbabies!”
b.  This makes GrandpaStew tear up and silently mumble, “I’ve lost my baby girl forever!”
c.  This makes my uncles roll their eyes!  Every time.

4.    The dinner was too long---- (According to my dad, that is!)

a.  Mommy’s reply was:   *Whispering* “Patience, baby! I’ll be good to you tonight!”
b.  Daddy’s reply was:  *Whispering*  “But I want you bad!  Really bad!”
c.  My uncles’ exclaimed:  *Whining*  “Oh, god!!!”

5.     Mommy sat on daddy’s lap almost the whole night.
a. I heard mommy say that it’s comfortable.
b. I heeard Uncle Tay said that mommy’s just helping dad hide his ‘Pecking Pecker’ (whatever that means!).
c.  This made my dad a very happy baby!
6.  While watching the movie after dinner, as my mom sat comfortably on my daddy’s lap (of course)… And when no one was watching, my dad subtly pinched those two peanut-like-sprouts on my mommy’s chest.

7. That Louis and Anna don’t have a baton to groove.  They have baton-huge!      (God!  How huge could the baton be?!?).

8.  It looks like breaking dawn will take a while (sigh).  My parents will have to stay with Louis and Anna for months!  Cripes!  This dawn is something, I tell you!  It's gonna be tough to break it! 
9.  I've learned that there are plenty of ways to eat a pie with whipped cream on top:
                                          i.     When around family members and on the dining table, a pie – pumpkin pie for instance – is served on the nicely decorated dining table, on a nice dessert plate, scooped with a dessert utensil, and is eaten with dessert fork.
                                        ii.     When in the living room, while watching a movie with family members, as you sit next to your “baby;” position the dessert plate that holds the pie with whipped cream on your thigh; scoop the dessert with your finger, and feed it to your “baby.”
                                      iii.     When finally alone in the bedroom, after spending time with family… This practice is quite tedious, by the way:  But here are the step:

                                      iv.     The daddy should take off the mommy’s clothes, then his.
                                        v.     The daddy, then, lays the mommy down gently or roughly (usually the first time is gentle, but the succeeding round are kind of rough… I still have not found out what that is) on the bed, while kissing her all over.
                                      vi.     After what the daddy and the mommy refer to as “heavy make out session,” the daddy, then, slices a piece of that delicious pumpkin pie and serves it on the mommy’s tummy (no dessert plate and no dessert utensils are needed).
                                    vii.     However, whipped cream is not sprayed on top of the pie.  The daddy spurts it on the mommy’s breasts.
                                   viii.     The daddy feeds the mommy the pie by scooping the pie with his finger and mouth, then licks the whipped cream before serving it straight to the mommy’s mouth.
                                      ix.     Both the daddy’s mouth and the mommy’s savor the pie while their mouths are fastened.
                                       x.     The pie is consumed noisily and very messy this way.
10. That my daddy and my mommy are most thankful for each other.  After their 3rd dessert in the bedroom (and a long shower after), they snuggled in the bed and whispered “I love yous” and  “Thank Yous” to one another sweetly before falling asleep.

… And that, dear diary, is what I’m thankful for the most:  LOVE!

I’m going to sleep now but I will tell you more next time.

The very loved,
Jella, the Robsten Cat!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

HOW JELLA'S PARENTS, ROB & KRISTEN, PREPARE FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER!

(Photo is not mine... if this is yours, thank you very much, I hope you don't mind me using it.  If not, please let me know and I will take it out.  Thank you again).

Dear Diary,

I know… I know… I have not written to you for a while now; and so I apologize to you first before I continue on with my thoughts.  Anyway, dear diary of mine, Happy Thanksgiving.  Yup! It’s that time of year again.  So many things to be thankful for.  But mostly, I’m thankful for my family:    My mom, Kristen; my dad Rob; my FamilyStew and FamilyPattz.

Yesterday, I was given the best reason to be thankful because I was the happiest Jella in the world.  My mommy & daddy came home after spending so much time with Louis and Anna. 

Louis and Anna could be relatives.  I don’t know.  I mean, the fact that mommy & daddy spend so much time with them make me believe that they are good people and fun to be with.  It’s probably because of their baton to groove.  Yeah!  Weird!

I know this because I overheard Uncle Tay told Grandma Jules a week or so ago that Rob & Kristen (my mom & dad, duh!) were on their way back to baton and groove with Louis and Anna, after spending two weeks with Rio.  Uncle Taylor yelled, "baton groove, baby!"  I’m still confused, dear diary.  Who the hell’s Rio?  All these people my parents are spending so much time with and I have yet to meet any of them. 

And what’s with the baton?  I mean, come on!  My parents strum their guitar when they want to groove… But with a baton?  I cringe as I think of what they could be doing with a baton!  Uncle Tom did say my parents are kinky! I am not sure what that means, actually; but for some reason, I associate kinky with baton.  I guess that’s from spending too much time with my Uncles.

I am ecstatic that mommy & daddy are spending so much time with each other.  God, I’ve never seen such miserable people like my mom & dad when they’re apart.  The distance was their constant nemesis in the past months.  I do understand why they have to leave me though.  I’m not upset.  I promise.  I know that they’re not just grooving with Louis and Anna, but they’re also working.  You know… They have to earn the dough for my future human siblings!  For our family!  That’s what daddy & mommy say all the time.  

Daddy wanted to start working on the human babies with mommy; but mommy said they have to wait until they finish breaking dawn!  Believe me, dear diary, if I knew where to find that dawn, I’d break it myself!  Yeah, with a baton!!!---  Oh, wait… I can’t do it with a baton!  I have paws, not hands!  Shoot!  Ohhhh… Wait a minute… Maybe… just maybe, my sharp claws will break that dawn to pieces!  Then my parents can start working on that baby brother or sister of mine.  Yeah!  This is what I’m going to do, dear diary: I’m going to act sad, like, really depressed, so that daddy and mommy will bring me back with them to see Louis and Anna… Because I have a feeling that’s where I’m going to find this dawn to break.

So, mommy took me in her arms and embraced me so lovingly. Then, daddy took us both in his arms.  We had a warm family hug.  I cried cat tears, dear diary… cat-tears-of-joy!  I was savoring the fuzzy feeling in my little tummy when suddenly, my mom turned to daddy and asked him with incredulous eyes:  “Really?!?”  There’s this unfathomable smirk on my daddy’s face, his eyes shimmering with love… and something else.

“Now?”  My mommy asked.  I felt her hold loosen a little bit.  I meowed that meow mommy loves to hear.  Then, daddy starts attacking mommy with wet kisses on her neck.  So, I started licking mommy’s arm.  She cooed and she ran her fingers through my shiny fur.  I purred.  I have missed mommy’s touch so much.  Her love for me is the most constant in my life.  Then, I found myself suddenly on the couch.  What the hell?!?  I looked up and saw that I have lost the battle to hunger once again.  Daddy must have been really hungry.  I understand.  They have to ride the plane to come home to me.  So, I curled comfortably and watched my parents fed each other with their mouths. 

Up to this day, I don’t get why mommy and daddy have to make those sounds.  I mean… I don’t moan when I lick my fur!  God!  Believe me, dear diary, my parents are loud… Every.  Time.  Before, I didn’t see the need for them to undress each other.  But, after I’ve seen them do that many times, I began to understand that human skin has different flavors.  I’m smart, ha?  Yes, sir, I am! 

See, when my dad licks my mom’s neck, he makes this sound, like a moan, but soft... and he’s gentle.  I’ve come to conclusion that mommy’s neck tastes like an appetizer. 

When my dad’s mouth descends on my mommy’s tummy and belly button… He becomes more active.  I’m guessing that mommy’s tummy part tastes like one of her dishes that daddy loves. 

Then… this is the best part, by the way… The reason why daddy has to always pull mommy’s skinny jeans and undies is that, his favorite flavor lies between mommy’s thighs.  That’s when he begins to devour… not just lick… when he’s at this point, he acts like the hungry man that he is. 

Daddy slurps and gobbles, making that loud--- that slushy noise.  I admire mommy how she gives so much of herself to daddy.  She would just give and give while whimpering… telling daddy to eat her more… When daddy’s had a serving of mommy, he has this look on his face… it’s something I cannot fully described.  It’s more than adoration… it’s so much more!  Mommy must be really delicious there!  Probably better than her loquat pie that daddy loves so, so much!

Mommy, then, takes daddy in her arms, her hands all over daddy while gulping daddy’s mouth…twisting their bodies so that she can be on top this time.  It’s her turn to nourish herself.   Like mommy, daddy is a giving person.  I know that he is willing to give anything and everything to mommy.  He offers himself to mommy, even guiding her head with his hands when it’s time for mommy to sip daddy’s crotch. That part, too, is my mommy’s favorite.  When mommy gets to that part, she gets so excited that she bobs her head up and down, greedily consuming… glugging every bit of Daddy’s taste!  This always makes daddy pant, convulse like one of my toys!  

My parents’ feeding ritual is somewhat odd.  Not only do they feed each other with their mouths… on their face… I mean… I only found out that humans have two mouths in their body!  I bet you didn’t know that, ha, dear diary!  See, you learn something from me, too, every time.  Yup!  I’m telling you.  That’s the reason why they have to wear panties and boxers because they have to hide the other mouth.  Why?  Because that other mouth is greedy.  It only eats its own kind.  Yes.  Another mouth!  It’s hard to explain.  See, the mouth on the face, eats human food; like burger, rice, soup… and other stuff.  But that mouth that they hide between their legs?  That’s the mouth that eats skin. 

Let me explain…

So, after mommy and daddy feed each other, they lay uncovered on the rug… or the bed… or couch… or the dining table… or… well, you get my drift….  They’re always entwined, their mouths constantly finding one another.  After a short while, depending who’s hungrier, daddy hovers over mommy, aligning his crotch to my mom’s… pushing… offering that piece of skin that hangs in his groin into my mommy’s other mouth!  And, boy, does that mouth of hers chomps! 

This feeding ritual amazes me.  Mom & dad, then, become vigorous…Like they’re fighting, but they’re really not.  They seem to incite the hunger because the need becomes so much more intense.  Not only do they allow their crotch’s mouths gorge each other; but their head-mouth also consumes… their hands don’t know where to stay… Dad is not always sure whether to pinch, flick or rub mommy’s chest… Mom doesn’t know whether to pull daddy’s head even closer to her (which, by the way, is always glued to her face in this form of feeding!)… or run them on daddy’s back…

Okay… So as I was saying… Last night, after my mommy and daddy finally finished feeding each other, they showered and napped.  Then, mommy woke up a while later, leaving daddy to catch more sleep.  She, then, picked up, and poured goodies into my bowl.  I love mommy so much.  She knows the way to my heart.  *Sigh*
“Time to prepare for tomorrow’s Thanksgiving dinner, Jella.”  My mommy announced as she pulled some ingredients from the pantry.  I think she’s making the pies that daddy and I love.

I watched as mommy mixed the stuff, then, started kneading.  My mommy’s cute when concentrating.  Wait, what am I saying?  My mommy isn't cute!  She is gorgeous!  Daddy tells her this all the time!

After a while, I saw daddy tiptoeing towards mommy only in his boxers.  I perked up but he put his finger into his lips to shush me.  I was amused. 

My amusement, however, died down instantly when daddy stood behind mommy and wrapped his hands around mommy’s tummy.  Why?  Well, I was hoping to sample mommy’s pies… but as soon as the hand-wrapping occurred, I knew that my hope would remain just that…hope!

See, that hand-wrapping thing always leads to more feeding.  I was right of course.  That time, they fed each other in the kitchen… First on the countertop, while standing… or bending… Then, on the floor, while lying down.  Then, on the kitchen chair…

Needless to say… There’s no Kristen’s pie for Jella this thanksgiving.  But I couldn’t fault dad, though.  I mean… he’s a man and is hungry all the time.  I get that.  And I bet mommy is really that delicious. 

And mommy… Well, what can I say… she’s always hungry for daddy as well. 

This morning, GrandmaStew called to check on her while mommy was running around the kitchen like crazy; making her tortilla soup and marinara sauce.  She attempted to make her famous pie this morning but for some reason, her kneading like that, even with flour on her hair, makes daddy hungry.  Go figure! 

So now… Daddy’s with Uncle Tay, out and about, doing last minute shopping.  Mommy sent the two to buy the best pumpkin pie and apple pie; ingredients that mommy needs for her delicious mashed potatoes, gravy, and cranberry sauce… And for an In & Out burger.  Mommy’s craving…

GrandmaStew is cooking the turkey and ham. 

So, dear diary…. Everything is somewhat back to normal.  Mommy is the kitchen cooking; and once daddy’s back, I’m sure he’s going to play that guitar of his… Then later, a huge family Thanksgiving dinner…  I hope my FamilyPattz in London (NanaPattz, GrandpaPattz & GrandmaPattz, Aunt Lizzie and Aunt Vicky & the rest of my Pattinson clan) will come join us… and Uncle Tom and Aunt Carrie, too!

Thanksgiving is a wonderful occasion, dear diary. I know without one iota of doubt that I am the luckiest being on earth.  I am loved.  My daddy loves and adores my mommy.  My mommy is not only in love with my daddy, but is devoted to him as well.  Their career is soaring… They are loved by their peers and fans.  Their relationship is more solid than ever.  My Pattinson and Stewart family are intact, happy and healthy…

And they all love me!

I’m now a little emo, dear diary… and I have every right to be. 

I will let you know about the dinner later tonight… I’m cat-excited.  I can’t stop meowing!!!

Until then…  Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Always,
The very thankful, Jella Stewart-Pattinson

(None of the photos used is mine... Credit goes to the the owners. No copyright infringement is ever intended... Promise!)

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!!!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

THEY WERE SUBTLE... BUT NOT QUITE... Oh, RobSten...

Dearest readers and lurkers of Robsten for Life:  I apologize in advance if this post isn’t to your liking.  Please bear in mind that my part (not the ones that were actually said in the commentary), or WHAT I THINK HE/SHE MEANT parts, were all made up (I could see you rolling your eyes and hear you saying, “DUH!” LOL!... I just want to reiterate that).  Thank you for visiting/reading.  I appreciate all of you who read this blog.  I totally dig the love that Rob & Kristen have for each other.  They are, in my opinion, the truest people in love & they have the most honest relationship… --- Ofie

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o
R/K ECLIPSE COMMENTARIES
(ROB WAS IN LOS ANGELES & HIS GIRL, KRISTEN,
WAS IN MONTREAL)
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN EDWARD TOLD BELLA THAT HIS FAVORITE MOMENT WAS WHEN SHE AGREED TO MARRY HIM …AND JACOB HEARD…
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Bella: “I’m really sorry about last night, it couldn’t have been easy on you.”
Edward:  “It definitely won’t make my list of top ten favorite evenings”.
Bella: “You have a list?”
Edward:  “All ten I spent with you. Number one is when you said you’d marry me, Mrs. Cullen.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o
Close to Actual R/K Commentary:
Kristen:  “It’s ridiculous that you… let him hear this… That you knew that… I mean…You’re so...”
Rob:  “Yeah! Coz I’d get him back!  It’s like, listen… This is… I- I’m getting you back as well! So, yeah… You can do what you want but I can do what I want, too!”
Kristen:  *Giggles* 
Rob:  “And you have to deal with the consequences.
Jacob (background):  "You're marrying him?"

Rob:  "Yeahhhhhh."

Kristen:  “Ugh!  You knew what that would do!  It-- potentially very dangerous, by the way."

Rob:  "No it's not!”

Kristen:  “At least wait till the battle is over.”

Rob:  “I could kick his ass in two seconds."

Kristen: “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

*Silence*

Bella in the background:  “Jake, please!”

Rob:  “That was a wrong (something)  *Laughs through his nose*

Kristen:  “That’s okay.  I’m gonna get you back… right here!”

Rob:  *Laughs*  “I trumpet (or something like that)… and you just like, okay, I’m gonna break up with you.”

Kristen:  *Laughs*  “I’m gonna do you one better.”

Bella in the background:  “Jake, stay!”

Rob:  “No.  Don’t stay.”

Jacob in the background:  “Why?”

Rob:  “Yeah, why?”

Jacob in the background:  “Give me one good reason.”

Rob: "There isn't one."

Bella in the background:  “Because I don’t want to lose you!”

Rob: "Because I’m a young naïve girl.  I wanna have it all!"

Kristen:  “I’m so not… That’s so… That’s so…Whatever…That’s so easy and, like, and what’s annoying about that actually also it like people criticize her a lot…and really, like, without looking at everything and just like, what’s happening to her in the story… what happens to her, like… in the wor---you know… it’s ridiculous..” 

Rob:  “Plus, him kissing her right now?  God, it makes me… it just proves how much of a…UGH!... he’s like the worst guy in the world.”

Kristen:  “She doesn’t want to do it at first… She’s just doing it to get like…”

Rob: “No, no, no.  Like, he’s even worse than you in this scene”

Kristen:  “Ooh, she’s getting into it!”

Rob:  “Shut up!”

Kristen:  “Whoa! Whoa! Look at his hands there.”

Rob:  “Whoa there!”

Kristen:  “I’m sure he’s thinking about his hands too, so that’s what Edward’s getting. He’s like, “oops, I wonder if that’s okay?””
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o
Rob:  “What did he say?  At the end?”

Kristen:  “Uh, that should have been our first kiss…and I think he said… ugh, what did he just say?  What did he just say… I think he says I’ll be back, something like, you know, see you later… I don’t know…”

Rob:  “What did he expect is going to happen?”

*Silence*
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Bella in the background:  “You saw?”

Edward in the background:  “No.  Jacob’s thoughts are very loud.

Bella in the background:  “I don’t know what happened.”

Kristen:  “It’s too bad that he can’t hear what’s going on in her head coz then, it'd really be okay.”

Rob:   “No, it would not!”

Kristen:  “It would be.”

Rob:  “That’s how girls always think.  They always think…”

Kristen:  “That’s not…”

Rob:  “It's like, you’re judged on your actions”

Kristen:  “Shhhh…”

*Both chuckle*

Kristen: *In pleading, soft voice*   “If you just knew what was going on… In my head, I can explain to you… you have to understand…”

Rob:  “Hey, Boo-Boo, what do you think about this girl?  *Laughs… Then is a more serious voice*  “Let me think about it.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o
 (If you own the photo posted above, thank you very much, Sweetie!)
What I THINK they meant to say…
There were times when I THINK they’re not talking
about the scene in Eclipse…LOL!:
Kristen:  “It’s ridiculous that you… let him hear this… That you knew that… I mean…You’re so... So clever, baby!”

Rob:  “Yeah! Coz I’d get him back!  It’s like, listen… This is… I- I’m getting you back as well! So, yeah… You can do what you want but I can do what I want, too!  And I’ll do anything to carve this fact into his head that YOU ARE MINE!!!”

Kristen:  *Giggles* 

Rob:  “And you have to deal with the consequences.  Because I’ll have you feel my frustration, baby… In every thrust… In every kiss… In every touch… Raw… Pure want…. Pure need, baby!!!
Jacob (background):  "You're marrying him?"

Rob:  "Fuckin’ HELL, YEAHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
Kristen:  “Ugh!  You knew what that would do!  There was no need for that... Because, Rob...  You knew from the very beginning that you had my heart.  That first moment… When our eyes met…our lips touched… It was there… this… this palpable pull…  This indescribable emotion… It’s potentially very dangerous, by the way.  It was dangerous to him…”

Rob:  "No it's not!  He was annoying… always following you… My god, even during our promo appearance… Just fucking annoying! ”

Kristen:  “At least you could have waited until the event was over.”

Rob:  “I could kick his ass in two seconds… Babe, believe me, oh, I wanted to.  I was even caught cracking my knuckles during the interview… That was that during the MTV thingee?  Right? I forgot.  But, yeah... Then you called me buddy.  Jesus, Kristen, that was horrible!"

Kristen: “That’s not what I’m talking about… But there was no need, really, Rob.  You had me even then.  I just didn’t know how to break it to him.”

*Silence*
Bella in the background:  “Jake, please!”
Rob:  “That was a wrong---- So wrong…”  *Laughs through his nose*

Kristen:  “That’s okay.  I’m gonna get you back… right here!”

Rob:  *Laughs*  “…and you just like, okay, I’m gonna break up with you.”  *Thinks to self:  I’m only joking; but, damn it, Kristen… you break up with me and I’m going to be one miserable ass!  Shit, I hate that thought.  I just want to be with you, Kristen.  Only you, Baby!!!   *Tries to calm down while mutely muttering: "Compose yourself, Rob.  This girl loves you…. She loves you… Kristen loves you…. Very much!"*

Kristen:  *Laughs*  “I’m gonna do you one better.”
Bella in the background:  “Jake, stay!”
Rob:  “No.  Don’t fuckin’ stay.  You don’t have the right, you… you…stinkin’ dog… UGH!!!”
Jacob in the background:  “Why?”
Rob:  “Yeah, why?”
Jacob in the background:  “Give me one good reason.”
Rob: "There isn't one.  None!  Nada!  Brak. Nessuno.  Aucun.  لا شيء.    Keine.  Wala.  Nenhum.  Κανένας.  Никто. Ingen. Nijedan. Ei.  GET THE MESSAGE ALREADY!"
Bella in the background:  “Because I don’t want to lose you!”
Rob:  *Imitating Bella’s voice*  "Because I’m a young naïve girl.  I wanna have it all!  Shit!  I’m really fucking jealous, here, Babe!!!”

Kristen:  “I’m so not… That’s so… That’s so…Whatever…That’s so easy and, like, and what’s annoying about that actually, also, is like people criticize her a lot…and really, like, without looking at everything; and just like, what’s happening to her in the story… what happens to her, like… in the wor---you know… it’s ridiculous… They don't know how hard I tried to fight my feelings for you; I was in love with you but he was there. I was afraid you didn't love me as much as you thought you did.  But I wanted you...” 

Rob:  “Plus, him kissing her right now?  God, it makes me… it just proves how much of a…UGH!... he’s like the worst guy in the world.  He shouldn’t be breathing.  If I had Edward’s power and strength… I’m gonna take him down!!!”

Kristen:  “She doesn’t want to do it at first… She’s just doing it to get like…”

Rob: “No, no, no.  Like, he’s even worse than you in this scene!  I can’t take this!  I don’t want any guy’s lips on my property!  I’m not that strong.  I’m the only one who’s supposed to be kissing you…. UGH!  This is not right. This is terrible…”

Kristen:  “Ooh, she’s getting into it!”

Rob:  “Shut up!  Baby, please….” 

Kristen:  “Whoa! Whoa! Look at his hands there.”

Rob:  “Whoa there, you asshole!  Take your fucking hands off my woman!!! Son of gaddamn shit!

Kristen:  “I’m sure he’s thinking about his hands too, so that’s what Edward’s getting. He’s like, “oops, I wonder if that’s okay?””

Rob:  *Silent and thinking: It’s not okay.  It’s never okay.  I should have insisted to alter the story from the very beginning.  Jacob should have died while he's in his wolf form; while fighting Laurent in New Moon.  I should have… Ugh! Thank goodness there won’t be any more Jacob-Bella kissing shit in Breaking Dawn!*

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o
Rob:  “What did the ass say?  At the end?”

Kristen:  “Ah, that should have been our first kiss…and I think he said… ugh, what did he just say?  What did he just say… I think he says I’ll be back, something like, you know, see you later… I don’t know…”

Rob:  “What did he expect is going to happen?  Did he freakin’ expect to get her in the end?  NEVER!!!  Over my dead body!!!”

*Silence*
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o
Bella in the background:  “You saw?”

Edward in the background:  “No.  Jacob’s thoughts are very loud.

Bella in the background:  “I don’t know what happened.”

Kristen:  “It’s too bad that he can’t hear what’s going on in her head coz then, it’d really be okay.”

Rob:   “No, it would not!”  *Silent and thinking…  What am I saying? *

Kristen:  “It would be.”

Rob:  “That’s how girls always think.  They always think…”

Kristen:  “That’s not…”

Rob:  “It's like, you’re judged on your actions.”

Kristen:  “Shhhh… Baby, that's enough.  Drop it.”

*Both chuckle*

Kristen: *In pleading, soft voice*   “If you just knew what was going on… In my head, I can explain to you… you have to understand…”

Rob:  *Feels fuzzy upon hearing Kristen’s small, pleading voice* “Hey, Boo-Boo, what do you think about this girl?  *Laughs but really he's thinking:  Damn, that voice always ignites my libido.  Now I want her and she's fucking miles away... And how do I take care of this hard on I'm sporting right now.  Phone Sex! Yeah!  We'd better finish this freakin' torture so that my baby can take care of me!*

Rob:  *Serious tone*  “Let me think about it.”  *Thinks to self:  Yeah!  Like I need to!  I want you.  You’re mine. Period.*


****TO BE CONTINUED***