Monday, July 1, 2013

Riddle me this... Riddle me that...

**********YOU KNOW IT! FICTION**********

Jella:        *Whiskers twitching; on full-mode concentration*

Bear:       *Tapping his paws against the wooden floor*

Bernie:     *Surfing the net*

Bear:       “So?”

Jella:       “It’s bad… really bad…”

Bear:       *Howls*  “Noooo…”

Bernie:     “Same here… I couldn’t find it.”

Bear:       *Turns to Bernie*  “Do you have your list?”

Bernie:     “I do.  I googled it but nothing!”

Bear:       “No result?”

Bernie:     “No!”  *Types again*  “See?”  *Turns the laptop towards Bear and Jella*

Jella:       *Puts eyeglasses on* “Um, did you spell the name correctly?”

Bernie:     “Yes!  F-U-C-K-E-R!  Look!”  *Shows the list*  “Annie Fucker!”

Bear:       “Um, I think that’s a P, then an A!”

Jella:        “No, I think Bernie got it right.  Annie Fucker!  It sounds right to me!”

Bear:       “I think you’re right.  So, no sex tape?”

Bernie:     *Shakes head*  “I give up.”  *Thinks*  “What is sex tape anyway?”

Jella:       *Sniggers*  “It's like yoga, I think.”

Bear:       *Thinks*  “Do you think Mom and Dad have one?  Sex tape, I mean?”

Jella:       *Licks paws*  “Can you record skype?  They do yoga a lot!”

Bernie:     *Lights up*  “That’s a good question!  I’ll research on that!”

Bear:       *Turns to Jella*  “How about you?  You said it’s bad!  I don’t like it!  I don’t’ like bad.”

Bernie:     “What is it that you’re doing anyway?  Are you playing poker!”

Jella:       *Gasps*  “No!  Don’t say that!  Don’t you dare question the divinity of these cards.”

Bear:       *Furrows brows*  “Di-divinity?”

Jella:       *Nods*  “These are called Parrot Cards!  These are divine.  They tell the future.”

Bear:      *Shakes head*  “Oh.  You did that last year.”

Jella:       *Nods*  “That’s right!  July last year, I did a lot of reading with this deck of Parrot Cards!”

Bear:      *Laughs*  “You said they’re bullcrap!”

Jella:       “I did not say that!”  *Looks away*

Bear:      “Well, last year… I think it was 3rd week of July, you said that Mom’s pregnant and will give birth come Spring.  That didn't happen.  So you changed you statement and said that Mom and Dad are over.  They never were.  Again, you said Dad moving on with another woman..."  *Laughs*  "Um, we live in one house, you know.  How do you even come up with these stuff?"  *Shakes head*  "You can't say things as if they were true... And it's about Mom and Dad, for cripe's sake!"

Jella:       *Shrugs*  "It was for fun.  I mean, why not play the game of those fuckers who are capitalizing writing bullshit stories and so-called-fans who spreads hella lotsa lies!"  *Exhales*  "And besides... Last year and last month, I had problems!!!"

Bear:      “Seriously?!?"

Jella:       *Nods*  "Yeah!!! I mean, I was not at my right state or mind or mode... however you call it.  My emotions conflicted with my cards' "divinity" and what not--- so I was reading the messages incorrectly."

Bear:      “Wow!  For all your readings to be wrong, you must have had huuuuuuuge problem!"  *Pats Jella's back*

Jella:       *Sighs*  "Well, if you should know, I didn't know whether I still have 9 lives or 5!"  *Scowls*  "Remember that time when mom and dad were having this yoga exercise in nude against the wall... you know... when dad had to carry mom and mom had to wrap her legs around dad's waist?"

Bear and Bernie:  *Nods*  "Yeah...."

Jella:       "Well, remember they were doing it harder than their usual... I was on top of the bookshelf; and because of the movement mom and dad are generating, the book shelf shook and I fell... That's counted as one!  ONE!  YOU HEAR!  ONE LIFE DEDUCTED FROM MY NINE!!!"

Bear:      "Oh, get over yourself.  You're fine!  I think your problem is, you follow shitty people on Twitter and you read Laimey's blog and trash-toids, X17, and such... You follow the ninies, the haters..."

Jella:       "That's how I gather my information!"

Bernie:   "But you know they don't have a clue whatsoever!  And then you have DMs, negative ones, mind you... And you read all these crap before doing your Parrot Cards!  So, your aura or whatever is influenced and you don't get the message right!"

Jella:       "Yeah... I guess you're right.  But it's funny how these people readily believe! I mean, come on!  I could charge them gazillion dollars and they'd pay me without batting an eyelash!"  *guffaws*  "But I will never, ever, divulge information about Mom and Dad via Twitter, IG, FB..."

Bernie:    "So you said, "it's bad," earlier..."

Jella:       "The fuckers are hording pictures!  They're not putting the right photos up online!  I mean, there are hundreds of photos taken... and instead, they put something out there where they questions who it was with whom... and then made up a story that dad is dating another woman... Mom's friend, no less... And then this got picked up and now after their attempt to link daddy with Katy Perry, they've moved on with another... one of mom's friends!"

Bear:      "That's how they make money!  They cultivate peoples' interest by not presenting the clear an dright evidence. So, someone will say, "Oh, that's Kristen!" and then one would say, "Oh, no, that's not her..." and before you know it... voila!  They have succeeded.  So, they move on with writing something which they know is incorrect... and I'm putting that mildly... and it' going to stay that way for a while... then when that's old news because there's no more lead... another picture will be released, a clear one this time... to support their story that there was indeed a reconciliation!"

Bernie:     "Correct me if I'm wrong... I know I'm an animal, I'm not a human being gifted with the ability to think and who's supposed to possess compassion and such... But don't you have to have broken up to reconcile?  I don't get it!  This so-called human nature is kinda scary!"

Bear:      "Remember how these fuckers thought that CJ was mom's new man while dad was in Aussie?"

*Laughter filled the room... that sounded like woof-woof and meow...meow*

Jella:       "They have no clue!"  *guffaws*

Bernie:    "And mom wears dad's ring!"

Jella:       *Shhhhhhhh!!!!!"

Bernie:     "Don't sush me!  It's right there for everyone to see!!!  They just chose not to see it!!!  I saw mom's pic you know.  She's so cool, walking with with the ever-famous HBG... wearing her poker face... but there's a sense of peace in her... almost SMUG!"

Jella:        *Smiles*  "Yeah...."

Bear:        *Chuckles*  "And then... ka-boom!!!  Every one will be like, "What?" or "Ha?" or... "Wow," for those who have been waiting for it."

Bernie:        *Did dad call yet?"

Jella:        "He's fine!"  *smirks*  "But he will be better... Mom makes him happy."

Bear:        "Hence the ring!"

Bernie:       "Hence the ring, indeed!"

Jella:          *Shuffles cards*  "Let's see when...."

Bernie:       *Rolls eyes*

Bear:        *Yawns*

Jella:        *Mumbles to self*  "A boy... please.... please... please...."