Saturday, December 25, 2010


Again, this is fiction!
(R/K on the phone)

Rob:  “I locked my door.  Did you?”
Kristen:  “Honey, I’m actually alone right now.”
Rob:  “Baby, do you think the GUY in heaven was listening.”
Kristen: “Why?”
Rob:  “Because we were loud and we cussed like sailors!”
Kristen:  “We were making love, not war! That’s what the GUY wants!”
Rob: *Giggles*  “In that case, wanna go again?!?”


Tom: "I have a lovelife, too, you know!" *Narrows eyes at Rob & Kristen*
Rob: "Oh, hush... just hold the mistletoe above us so I can kiss my girl!" #Robsten


Rob: "Mom, Kristen is still sleeping!"
MamaPatz: "So why are you already up? Go back there and make me a grandchild! NOW!" #Robsten


Kristen to Rob: *Lifts an eyebrow* "Babe, Heineken doesn't have apple cider!" #Robsten


K: "Um, thanks, Nana! These are cute baby clothes."
NanaPattz:"You should see the crib! It's sturdy!... Rob, bring the crib here!" #Robsten


PapaStew: "Kristen, sweetheart, it's 3am in London, it's okay to let go of your phone now." #Robsten


Tom to Rob: "If you're going to say, 'Kristen said this or Kristen did that' I'm gonna ship you back to the U.S.!"
Rob: "Promise?" #Robsten


MamaStew: "Eat your dinner."
K: "Not hungry, Mom."
Jella: "Dad must have FED Mom before he flew to London! Mom loves Daddy's skin!" #Robsten


Tom: "Dude, SHUT UP!"
Rob: "Well, I'm just saying. Christmas sounds like Kristen, you know." #Robsten


Rob: "I hate Edward! He kisses and makes out with my girl. A lot!"
Tom: "I think you're drunk, man!" #Robsten


PapaStew: "Where is Kristen?"
MamaStew: "On the phone with Rob."
PapaStew: *Sighs* "Oh, boy."
Jella: "My Daddy owns her!" #Robsten


R: "Baby, what are you wearing?"
K: "Your boxers, your shirt.. and your scent!"
R: *Sobs* "Why am I here when you're there?" #Robsten

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Note:  None of the photos used in the post is mine.  Credit goes to the owner.  Thank you.


Bill Condon:  “No Rob.  You can’t do that.”

Rob:  *Insistent*  “It’s only for this Christmas, please.”

Bill Condon:  *Turns to Kristen*  “Are you, two, serious?”

Kristen:  “Pretty much.”

Rob:  “We’ve already bought the tree.”

Kristen:  “And my mom had already brought in the decorations and trimmings and stuff.”

Bill Condon:  “And you’re going to decorate as a family on Christmas day?”

Rob and Kristen:  *Smile*  “Yup, that’s the plan.”

Bill Condon:  *Shakes head*  “Have you talked to her parents?”

Rob:  “Kristen and I are hoping that you would do that for us.”

Bill Condon:  *Confused*  “Because you want to play house and family?”

Kristen:  “She already calls me Mom and she calls Rob Dad… So, it’s not, like, we’re just playing.”

Rob:  “Let’s call it a dry run!”  *Smug*

Bill Condon:  “Let me get this straight…”  *Scratches head*  “You want to bring home Mackenzie Foy home so that you can decorate a tree together on Christmas morning…”

Rob:  *Smiles dreamily*  “… And open presents…. Bake cookies together…. Then dinner with the family….”

Kristen:  “Nothing over the top, really.”

Rob:  *Hugs Kristen*  “Oh, Baby… Tell Bill what we got Renesmee for Christmas!”

Kristen:  *Hugs Rob*  “We ordered her  a locket… An antique with inscription, More Than My Life!

Bill Condon:  *Sighs*  “Don’t you think you are… um… taking your role as Bella and Edward too seriously?… I mean… Do you even know Renesmee’s real name?”

Rob:  “Of course!”

Kristen:  “Absolutely!”

Bill Condon:  “And you want me to ask permission from her parents if you could bring her home with you for the holidays?”

Rob and Kristen:  “A-huh!  That’s the plan!”

Bill Condon:  “You’re serious, aren’t you?  You do want Mackenzie Foy to spend Christmas with you…so you can celebrate as a Family?”

Rob:  “Mackenzie who?”

Bill Condon:  “Um….”  *Looks at Rob; then at Kristen*  “You know… Mackenzie Foy?.... Renesmee?”

Kristen:  “Oh, yeah.. yeah..yeah…”

Rob:  “That’s right!  Uh, Renesmee… Or, just for the Holidays, we can name her, Robstena!”

Kristen:  “Oh! So perfect, baby!”

Bill Condon:  “Oh, God!”

Saturday, December 18, 2010


Rob:  *Sulking*  “Not fair!”

Kristen:  “What’s the matter, Honey?”

Rob:  “Well, tabloids are saying that we won’t be spending Christmas together.”

Kristen:  *Sadly smiles*  “We talked about this, Rob.”

Rob:  “I know… But still…”

Kristen:   *Kisses her man*  “What do they know?”

Rob:  *Sighs*  “It bothers me.”

Kristen:  “Why?”

Rob:  “Because… Zac and Vanessa were reported to have called it quits… Ryan and Scarlet…”  *Shakes head*  “I mean… it’s like… it’s like they’re waiting for us to break up…”  *Narrows eyes*  “Which IS NOT going to happen… Ever!”

Kristen:  *Embraces her love*  “Your family misses you, babe…”

Rob:  “…And you did not spend Christmas with yours last year---”

Kristen:  *Stares at Rob’s eyes*

Rob:  *Stares at Kristen’s eyes*

Kristen:  *Thinking*  I fucking cannot believe this!  I don’t want to spend a day apart from him!  Shit!”

Rob:  *Thinking*  Bloody hell!  This is not right.  I can’t be away from her.  Just the thought of not spending a day with her is already killing me!  Damn!”

Kristen:  *Idea pops in her head*  That’s right!  I’m going to surprise him.  I will go to London with him.  Mom and Dad will understand.

Rob:  *Idea pops in his head*  That’s it!  I’m going to call Mom and Dad and tell them Kristen and I will be spending Christmas with them next year. We celebrated Christmas with them last year… It’s only fair that I stay with her this year.  I will surprise her and go to L.A.!

Kristen:  *Yelps*  “Things will be okay, sweetie!  I promise.”

Rob:  *Already feeling giddy*  “I believe that, baby!”

***To be continued…***

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


RobSten Preparing for Christmas

Rob:  *Trying to take a peek at Kristen:’s list* 

Kristen:  “Baby, don’t cheat!”

Rob:  *Grins*  “I have an idea.  The best ever, babe!”

Kristen:: *Eyes Rob knowingly*  “No!”

Rob:  “What?  Really, Kristen… It’s not going to cost us any money… At all!”

Kristen::  *Sighs*  “Okay… Fine, let’s hear it!”

Rob:  *Pulls Kristen on his lap*  “For our present for each other… it has to be made by us… not store-bought!”

Kristen: *Squints eyes*  “But I thought you want a…”

Rob:  “I know but this is better, baby!”

Kristen:  “You mean, like you composing me a song or me knitting you a beanie or cooking your favorite dish… baking your favorite pie… But we do that a lot, Rob!  You've written songs about me and for me... And I always make your favorite dishes and desserts..." ***(Secretly smiles as she added:  I'm your favorite dessert!)***  "I thought we’re going to make this Christmas extra, extra special!”

Rob:  “And it’s gonna be more, babe!  I promise!”

Kristen:  “So… what are we going to make?”

Rob:  “Well…”  *Starts to get giddy!*  “One:  We don’t need ingredients, supplies…”

Kristen:  “Go on…”

Rob:  “Two:  It will totally be ours… Something that no one can take from us… No one can duplicate…”

Kristen:  “So how are we going to make it?  Do we have to, like, contact someone… search for something…”

Rob:  “Absolutely not!  WE ARE DOING IT OURSELVES!  TOGETHER!”

Kristen:  “Will I like it?”

Rob:  “No, baby… You won’t like it!  YOU WILL LOVE IT FOREVER AND EVER… MORE THAN ANYTHING!”

Kristen:  *Starts to get suspicious*  “And how are we going to make it?”


Kristen::  *Starts to get it!*   “And will you work for it?”

Rob:  “Like my life depends on it!”

Kristen:  “Will I see it grow?”

Rob:  “Enjoyably so!” *Wiggles eyebrows*

Kristen:  “Will it be…. INSIDE ME?”

Rob:  *Beams*  “YES, BABE!.... FOR NINE MONTHS!!!”

Kristen:  *Stunned*  “W-What?!?”

Rob:  *Kisses Kristen:*  “Yup!  That’s right, babe.  WE ARE GOING TO MAKE A BABY!... YOU KNOW… AS OUR PRESENT FOR EACH OTHER…”

Kristen:  “Well… Um…”

Rob:  “We can start now…. No more trip to the pharmacy… No more fucking elastic wrapper… And no more shooting in the air!”

Kristen:  “You’re serious?”


Kristen:  “Ha?”

Rob:  “Girl… Boy… It doesn’t matter, Baby… She or he is going to be perfect!”

Kristen::  “And HE or She will make us happier, closer, more inspired... Plus, your family and mine will love and adore him or her... ”

Rob:  “I can't wait to be a daddy!  Let’s start wrapping our present, baby!  ”

Kristen::  “NO!  NO wrapper… Remember?”

Rob:  “Like I said… You’ll love my idea…. Damn, I’m good!”

Kristen: “But you can’t do it without me!”

Rob:  *Laughs*  “Well….”

Kristen:  “Don’t you fucking think about it or I’m going to….”

Rob:  “You know I’m only kidding, Babe… Jeez!”

Kristen::  “So shall we start working on our present?”

Rob:  “HELL, YEAH!”
(Thank you to may good friend, Anna (@patronuska) for her manips!... Luv yah, girl!)


Friday, December 10, 2010

Who's in RPattz Christmas list this year?!?


Robert Pattinson’s Christmas List:

1.   Summer Camp Voucher for Sam Jennings

2.   A Panic Room Kit for Sarah Altman

3.   Maid Service for Kristen Tilson

4.   Karate Lessons and Membership for L.A. Gun Club for Melinda Sordino

5.   Mountain Climbing Trip for Maddy

6.   Gold Coins for Lila

7.   One way ticket to L.A. for Maya Osbourne (so that that Finn guy won’t have a chance to ever, ever get close to her!)


8.   Five-Day Program at Space Camp for Lisa

9.   A corn field and a baby strap for Jessica “Jess” Solomon

10.        A pack of Camel Cigarettes for Lucy Hardwicke

11.        A Night of Love for Georgia Kaminski (Since she’s wanting to experience love before it's too late).

12.        A brand new mobile home for Tracy Tatro

13.        A brand new car and "Whatever makes her happy" for Robin

14.        A car “JUMPER” for Sophie

15. Dance Lessons and a new tie for Zoe

16. A 2-day pass at Disneyland for Emily Lewin

17.  Six pairs of ballet shoes for Martine

18. A brand new Fender Artist Series Marle Haggard Signature Telecaster for that beautiful, amazing woman who played Joan Jett in the Runaways!

19. A dance pole and fucking new, two dozens sets of sexy lingerie for the fucking sexy Mallory (Oh, Mallory... Look what you do to me... Look down, my dear!!!)

20. $500 "Adults-R-Us" Gift Certificate for Marylou (Damn you, Dean!!! That girl is MINE!!!)....

21. A Love that lasts beyond forever for Bella Swan (Whatever you say, Edward Cullen!  I'm not being greedy, but... Bella Swan is MINE!)



(The individuals in Rob’s list are the movie characters played by his 
beautiful girlfriend, Kristen Stewart!!!