Monday, February 28, 2011


Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Jella?”

Jella:  “Yes, Pup?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Is mommy dying?”

Jella:  “What the hell, Pup?  How did you figure that?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Well… I watch TV and I know that if someone is dying you can save him or her.  And Daddy always saves mommy!  He gives her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation all the time!  Like constantly!  Daddy would close his eyes, giving mommy his last breath!”

Jella:  *Shakes head, then, smirks*  “Pup, you have so much to learn.  Mommy is not dying.  If she is, daddy will donate all his organs to mommy so she’ll live!  Get it?  That wasn’t moth-to-mouth re… um… re-- … um… re-su-something!  That is their feeding ritual!  Dad and mom like to drink through each other’s mouth.”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Oh!”  *Furrows brows*  “Jella?”

Jella:  *Sighs*  “Yes, pup.”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Is Daddy a doctor?”

Jella:  “Dude, where do you freakin’ get these ideas from?  Are you on something?  The Vet must have drugged you good!”  *Sniggers*  “No.  Daddy is not a doctor.  Why do you ask anyway?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Because I saw him give mommy physical exam… So many times!”

Jella:  *Perks up*  “What do you mean physical exam?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “You know… breast exam?… Feeling her breasts, you know.. to make sure there’s no lump there… And also her tummy, thighs, inner thighs… The Vet does that to me when I go for check up.  So, I figured, Daddy is a doctor.”

Jella:  *Ponders*  “Oh!  You know what, Pup?… You’re on to something.  I don’t know.  We have to figure that out together.  So, maybe… just maybe… Mommy is a doctor, too!  She does give daddy physical exam constantly as well.  Wow!  Our parents are Vets for human!  How awesome is that? They’re powerful, you know.”  *Nods at Rob’sNewPuppy*  “You’re good, Pup!”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Thank you, Jella.”  *Sighs*  “Jella?”

Jella:  “Yes, Pup?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Do mommy and daddy have Alzheimer’s disease or dementia?”

Jella:   *Looks away*  “Umm… Can you spell that for me?... I-uh-um… I sometimes get confused with words you know… I’m visual, you know…” *Clears throat*

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Oh, I’m sorry… Dementia affects intellectual and social abilities severely enough to interfere with daily functioning. It's caused by conditions or changes in the brain. Different types of dementia exist, depending on the cause. Alzheimer's disease is the most common type. Memory loss generally occurs in dementia.”

Jella:  *Dumbfounded*  “What the hell are you, Pup?  Are you an alien from another world?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “I probably have what human calls photographic memory.  When I hear or see something, it retains in my brain.  I believe that before I become a dog, I was probably a doctor in my previous life.”

Jella:  “Jezzuz!  The Vet overdose you with something, I’m sure!  You believe in that crap?!  Dude, listen… I freakin’ have nine lives.  So I don’t know what life this is and whose it was before.  Was I a soldier?  I don’t know.  For all I know I have a priest spirit in my cat-body right now!  I’m sure; coz I have so much patience listening to your… um… confession!”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Do you want me to call you Father Jella?”

Jella:  “What’s that red scratch mark on your face, Pup?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “What?  I don’t have a scratch on my face!”

Jella:  “You’ll have plenty if you don’t put a lid on it!  Listen… and listen good… We are who we are!  We should love and accept who we are so that it’s easier for us to love and accept others for who they are!”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “AMEN, Brother!!!  AMEN!!!”

Jella:  *Looks sternly at Rob’sNewPuppy* 

Rob’sNewPuppy: “Sorry!!!”  *Giggles*  “About the Alzheimer’s disease or dementia--- Well, I noticed that Mommy sometimes forgets daddy’s name.  She calls him, baby or honey… and sometimes when daddy is doing the physical exam thingee… mommy just forgets to speak!  She just moans incoherent, gibberish words… Like, howling, you know---”

Jella:  *Sniggers*  “Dad does it, too!!!  I think sometimes he thinks he’s a Prince and Mommy’s a Princess.  There are times when, I think, daddy thinks mommy is a doll!  And yeah… When mommy is playing NurseBaby to daddy, he’s like speaking in tongues or something… it’s kinda funny actually!”  *Guffaws*

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “I know!  It worries me!”

Jella:  “Boy… You’re still young.  You’ll learn.  You’re lucky you have me.  I will explain. Mom and dad don’t have… um… dem--- dem-something or Al-something… Whatever… They just love and enjoy petting each other… like licking and that stuff!  I figured it’s a feeding ritual.  So--- No!  Mom and Dad are very healthy!  You’ll get used to the moaning and howling and stuff!”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Jella?”

Jella:  “WHAT?!?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Is it true?”

Jella:  “True, what?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Is it true that I was adopted for our new human-baby-brother?”

Jella:  *Laughs*  “Just where in the world did you get that idea from?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Remember I got sick so Mom and Dad took me to the Vet?”

Jella:  “So?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Well… I heard some people there saying that I am, like, a “practice-baby”… You know… like a trial baby or something like that… Like, Mom and Dad are expecting you know… I heard…”

Jella:  *Serious tone*  “Pup.  Listen to yourself.  Are you forgetting about me?  ME?  ME!  I’ve been with our parents FOREVER!  That’s an insult to me, man!  Are you telling me that I wasn’t loved?

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “NO!  I don’t mean it that way.  Forget it!  I’m sorry.”

Jella:  “Just so you know.  Mom and dad love me like I’m their real and ONLY child!  They are, by nature, nurturers.  They are capable of feeling and giving love… Infinitely!  Look at you?  You got sick.  They took you to the Vet themselves! They’re hands-on parents, dude!  You and I and our human sibling are very lucky to have Mom and Dad as our parents.  Are you feeling me here, brother?  You’re getting me?” 

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “I mean… I don’t mind---”

Jella:  “Zip it!  I don’t want to hear it!”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Jella?”

Jella:  “What now, Pup?”  *Rolls eyes*

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “I’m glad I have you.  I’m glad we’re family.”

Jella:  *Scratches Rob’sNewPuppy’s head playfully*  “You’re alright,  Pup.  And you know what?  Believe it or not, I am, too!”

***The End***

***All copyrighted materials used in this blog
belong to their rightful owner/s***
***No copyright infringement intended***
***This is Fiction***
***Thank you for visiting this blog!***

Thursday, February 24, 2011


Renesmee:  “Mom, Dad… Really?  I mean, really, really?  You’ve allowed a seventeen year old boy into our lives… Who’ve had the hots for you, Mom; hated you, Dad; wanted to kill me even before I was born; then changed his mind and wanted me for himself when I was just freakin’ two-minute-old…And that didn’t bother you at all?  No?  Ha?”  *Shakes head*

Bella:  “Oh, don’t look at me, dear… Remember, I was on my death bed, suffering through my transformation… So don’t point a finger at me!”

Edward:  “What? We-we-wait…  Hold on!  Bella, love… In case you’ve forgotten, you were sort of attached to that bloody dog; that there were times when I couldn’t help but feel and think like you were cheating on me with him… I was crushed when you kissed him, for crying out loud!” *Hisses* “Then, even when you were pregnant with Renesmee, you wanted him beside you!  So, please… Don’t put the blame on me!”

Bella:  “But that was not me! Remember how my feelings for him abruptly changed once Renesmee was born?  I even wanted to kill him for imprinting on our daughter!  Remember, baby?”  *Looks pleadingly at Edward*

Edward:  *Takes Bella in his arms; then looks at his daughter*  “Oh… That’s right… Of course!”

Renesmee:  *Rolls Eyes*  “What?”

Edward:  *Smiles at Renesmee*  “Honey, it was you!  It has always been you?”

Renesmee:  “Me, what?”

Edward:  “It was you who had invited Jacob into our lives!”

Renesmee: “Whoa! Whoa! Hold on, Father!  If you didn’t leave mom in New Moon in the first place, Jacob would never had the chance to get close to mom!”

Bella:  “Don’t blame your father, sweetheart.  He was just trying to keep me safe.”

Renesmee:  “You still believe that shit, mom? After all these years?   Dad was scared then.  So he left!  He was a pussy that’s why he freakin’ bailed out!”

Bella:  “Hey! We don’t say those words in this house, young lady!  And you don’t talk that way to your dad and about your dad!  He is the most amazing man!”

Renesmee:   *Laughs*  “Really mom?  My language?!  Sure I do sleep at night; and you and dad don’t.  But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t hear!  God!  The things you, two, do when you think I’m sleeping!  I cringed the first few times… But I’m used to it now, so don't worry!  Thanks to Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett who helped made our bedrooms soundproof!  Vampire sex is wild and hot!”

Edward:  *Clears throat*  “That’s the TV!!!  Your mom and I--”

Renesmee:  “Save it, Dad!  Don’t worry.  I understand!  I was born  mature, remember?”

Bella*Looks away*  “So you can hear--”

Renesmee:  “You’re pretty loud, mom!  Even you, dad!”  *Sniggers*  “And besides… I’m gifted, too, you know!” 

Bella:  “So… Um… Why are you quizzing us now about Jacob!  Why the anger?  Where is it coming from, sweetie!  Did he hurt you?”  *mumbles:  “I’m gonna kill him!”*

Renesmee*Sighs*  “Well… It’s just that… It’s not fair!”

Edward:  “What’s not fair, sweetheart?”

Renesmee:  *Starts to pace the room*  “I’m stuck with him since he imprinted on me!  I mean… It sucks!  I was left without a choice!  I can’t meet guys… I can’t go out… I can’t do anything… It’s frustrating!  He chained me to him and you’ve allowed him!”  *In tears*  “It’s like… I can’t help to feel like… Like you allowed him, dad, to be with me so that he’ll lay off mom!  I know mom is your life… She is the love your life… And I know you love me, too… It’s just that… I FEEL SO TRAPPED!”

Edward:  *Embraces daughter* “Oh, honey… I’m so sorry.  You were okay with it!  What changed?  Why the sudden change of heart?”

Bella:  *Smiles*  “You want out.  You’re in love with someone else!”

Renesmee:  *Cries harder* 

Edward:  “What, honey?”

Bella:  “It’s Nahuel, isn’t it?”

Renesmee:  *Shakes head*  “No!  He wants to go out with me… He actually asks me almost every day.  But I think he got the message and he’s planning to go back to South America soon.”  *Sighs*  “Well… Mom, Dad--- You know how imprinting works, right?  It’s like falling in love at first sight. It's so strong and that you  want to be tied to that person and would do or be anything for that person.  It was something like doing or being anything for that one person that you imprint on and that person is basically yours for the taking and no one else can compare to them.”

Bella:  “But that’s exactly what happened, honey.  Jacob didn’t want to.  It just happened.  So what’s the problem now?”

Renesmee:  *Shakes head*  “It’s just that… I’m confused now!  “Um… Don’t get mad at them… Okay?”

Edward & Bella:  “Okay… Them?” *Confused*

Renesmee:  “Well… Um… Paul, Collin, Brady, and Seth…”

Edward:  *Furrows brows & clinches fists*  “What about them?!?” *Stern voice*

Renesmee:  “Dad!  You promised!  Chill!”

Edward:  *Relaxes*  “Fine… Fine… What about them?”

Renesmee:  “They, um… They sort of… They sort of imprinted me!

Bella:  *Chokes*  “What?!?  ALL OF THEM!”


Bella:  “Honey…” *Clasps hands*

Edward:  *Smiles*

Renesmee:  “O-kay… This is not the reaction I visualized!”

Bella:  “Well, I guess… That solves your problem, dear.  You’ll get rid of Jacob sooner than you think!”

Edward:  “However… You may also lose Seth!”

Renesmee:  “What?”

Edward:  “They’re plotting how to kill each other now, honey!”

Renesmee:  “Holy shit!”  *Grabs cell phone*

Bella:  “What are you doing?  Who are you calling?”

Renesmee:  “I’d better call Nahuel!  I’d better start hanging out with him.  I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE FOR THE NEXT 100 YEARS LIKE DAD BEFORE HE MET YOU, MOM!---”  *Smiles, then concentrates on her phone call*  “Oh, Hi, Nahuel… Um… do you still want to  go see a movie?  Yeah!  I'll be ready in half an hour!  Aww... That's sweet---” 
Bella to Edward:  “Baby, I think your daughter just started our war against the wolves!”

Emmett:  “YES!  YES! Yeah, baby! Finally!!!  Some action around here!  I’ve been so fucking bored since that fucking peace treaty with those wolves & the Volturies!”  *Embraces Renesmee*  “Oh, I love my niece!”

Rosalie:  “I taught her well!  She’s not settling for the first guy who shows her interest!”  *Wipes invisible tears!*

***Oh, boy!***

*All copyrighted photos belong to their rightful owner/s*
*No copyright infringement intended*
*This is, of course, fiction*
Thank you for visiting this blog!

"TomStu Really Values His Friendship with RobSten!"

All copyrighted photos/videos belong to their rightful owner/s.
No copyright infringement intended.
This is fiction.
Tom Sturridge is a beautiful man (obviously!). 
He seems to have a happy disposition in life (I think!).
Rob and Kristen are fortunate to have found a friend in him (I really do think so).
Of course, TomStu is as lucky as Robsten.

Please click photo to enlarge! Thanks!

Source Videos:  

Sunday, February 20, 2011


All copyrighted photos belong to their rightful owner/s.
No copyright infringement intended.
This is fiction.  Thank you for reading.

Dear Diary,

When I realized that I am the cat-son of one of the most famous couple in the whole universe, I promised that I’m going to strive to be good; especially when mommy and daddy are home.  They work hard.  I know that rest is what they need when they’re home.  Of course I become overjoyed every now and then and I couldn’t help to be overzealous.  So, sue me!  Well, you can’t!  I’m a cat! 

Like presently… I’m super happy, Dear Diary.  Dad and Mom are home.  Well, Daddy came home first.  Then, a few days later, mommy followed.  It was difficult on my dad being away from my mom.  When daddy heard that mommy got hurt… OH.MY.GOD!  I thought daddy was going to trigger world war two and a half!  He was livid!  LIVID!  Not at mom, okay? Jeez!  Dad will be mad at the whole world, including at himself but never at mom; even when he is, hehehe… Of course I know! 

Dad was inconsolable.  He didn’t want mommy hurt.  Mommy, however, managed to calm him down.  But that didn’t stop daddy to investigate further.  He called so many people in Baton Rouge inquiring about what truly happened.  “Freak accident?!?  Are you fucking kidding me?”  He yelled at someone.  “What the hell is wrong with you, people?  My Princess got hurt.  She’s not a freaking vampire!  Did you think of using a double?!”  Um, it went on for hours until Dad got tired yelling.  But the worrying never stopped. 

I guess Dad only stopped worrying when mom was finally in his arms.  Did I mention before that dad was a doting “hubby?”  Well, I think that’s understating it.  “Baby, are you okay?” he asked mom a million times.  A single movement by mom, dad was there… beside her… in front of her… behind her… over her… under her… blah…blah…blah!  At one point, mom got annoyed because later that night, I heard mom yelled, “Robert, it’s just my thumb! Just freakin’ do it!”  Maybe dad was being slow and careful doing what mom had asked him to do.  I Can’t blame my dad, though.  Mom was hurt.  Of course, dad was treating mom like fragile china! 

Then, around midnight, mom woke up.  I guess she was hungry because she raided the fridge, then the pantry.  Dad was sleeping like a log by then.  He got really tired, mostly from worrying (hehehe). 

“Cheetos? Nah!”  Mom mumbled.

“Chips Ahoy?” She shook her head.

“Hmm… I am craving for Oreos.”  Then, her hunt for the “elusive” Oreos began.  Five minutes later, mom gave up and was back in their bedroom, showering daddy’s face with butterfly kisses.  Dad didn’t even budge.  He was really deep asleep.  Poor dad!

“Baby, wake up!”  My mom rode dad, trying to wake him up. 

Dad slowly opened his eyes.  “Are you okay?”  Dad was suddenly up, inspecting mom… hee-hee.  He felt her forehead, her neck, her hands… with his eyes barely open.

Mom, chuckled and rolled her eyes.  “I’m fine.  But I’m craving.”

“Already?!”  Dad asked incredulously but with a big fat smile on his face. 

“Hm-hm,” Mom responded, also chuckling.  “Get up.  We’re going to Ralph’s.

“What time is it?”  Dad inquired, rubbing his eyes.

“Twelve, I think.”  Mom knows how to wake dad up. 

“If you continue doing that, Kristen, we’re staying here.”  But dad flipped my mom carefully until he was over her.  “What do you want?”  Dad asked.

“Oreos.”  Mom stated, a little hesitant at this point.

Of course, dad can never say “no” to mom.  I know he didn't want to, but he slowly got up.

“Let me call, Dean.”  Dad said, as he put on his rumpled clothes.

Mr. Dean was a kind man.  He deserves an award.  Because, 15 minutes later, he was outside ready to assist mom and dad to the grocery store.  Mom and dad weren't even finished getting ready.  So, they left without fixing their hair or straightening their clothes.  I guess it didn't matter.  They looked perfect regardless.  

I wanted to go, too, but famous people get mobbed.  I know I’m not human but I’m a famous cat and I’m not ready for that just yet; get mobbed I mean.

Mom and dad were giggling when they returned.  Dad took the gallon of milk to their bedroom and they “camped out” there with bags of Oreos until the wee hours of the morning.

I still couldn’t figure out how mom and dad managed to dunk the cookies because they didn’t bring glasses to their bedroom.  Did they crumble the cookies to fit the mouth of the gallon milk container?  But they did not bring spoon with them either?  Oh, I sometimes wonder, dear diary, if my parents truly have super powers. 

With all the activities that took place the night before, I wasn’t surprised when mom and dad slept like babies and woke up late that day.  Mom groaned and complained being sticky.  Dad laughed and said it was my mom’s idea. Dad was more relaxed.  He didn’t spring from the bed when mom groaned to ask, “are you okay?” Maybe midnight snacking did relax my dad.  Mom really is a genius.  She knows what dad needs to relax.  Oh, she really, really loves him.  Dad knows that, too.

“How’s your thumb, baby?”  Dad asked, giving mom’s thumb a kiss… or was it a lick?  Wait… did dad suck mom’s thumb?  I wasn’t sure anymore because I looked away. 

Mom and dad are truly happy.  They even did chores together after they’ve taken a long bath.  They changed their beddings and did laundry.  After that, Dad helped mom in the kitchen.  They were smiling the whole time.

Love is a wonderful thing, dear diary.  I’m lucky to experience it everyday with my parents, Rob and Kristen.  Their future children are lucky to have them as their parents.

Sorry, I’m a little bit emotional.  Please don’t mind the happy tears!

Jella Stewart-Pattinson

Tweeted on Sunday, February 20, 2011

(@RobStenation --- Thanks, bb, for the updates!)

All copyrighted photos belong to their rightful owner/s.
No copyright infringement intended.
This is fiction.  Thank you for reading.

Thank you to my dear Anna (@patronuska)
for sharing her great talent with us!  Luvyah, girl!

ROB: "Oreos? Really? Baby, we have Chips Ahoy--"
KRISTEN: "I said Oreos!"
ROB: "Ok! Ok! I'm getting up!"
KRISTEN: "That's what I thought!"

ROB: "Princess, it's 12midnight!"
ROB: "So, um, I'm starting the car. Get ready!"
KRISTEN: *Smiles*
JELLA: "Dad is whipped good!"

ROB: "Dean! We're going to the Supermarket!"
Dean: "It's 12 o'clock!"
ROB: "You wanna go at 1am?"
Dean: "Ok! I'm up!"

ROB: "Baby, Do you prefer Vanilla or Chocolate Oreos?"
KRISTEN: "Have I ever been a Vanilla girl, Rob?"
ROB: "NEVER!” *Smirks* “Damn.  Let's go home!"

*Now at home*
KRISTEN: "OK, babe. I'm going to bed!"
ROB: "B-But... Your Oreos!"
KRISTEN: "Tomorrow. Not hungry anymore!"

ROB: "Baby, do you want milk with your Oreos?"
KRISTEN: "Yes. I'll be waiting in our bedroom" *WINKS*
ROB: "Yes! Yes!"

Thanks to my twitter buddies for tweeting with me
about this exciting event… The “OREO” event! :)

@Patronuska, @BraGirl2, @CSI_Robsten, @GirlieDbO @KSturridge @lizelleb

@MHerdez1972 @AprilLynette @isadoranassif @andsoTheyKissed @ toncyt

@believe_them @ SteTrajano @ RobstenRoyalty


Saturday, February 19, 2011

"Who the fuck hurt my baby?"

All copyrighted photos used in this blog
belong to their rightful owner/s.
No copyright infringement intended.
This is fiction.

Thank you to my dear friends, Anna (@patronuska)
and Tanya (@1redsoc) for the inspiration.

Kristen, as we all know, is very precious to Rob; and to all of us, naturally!  We love her hella lot.

We’re sort of aware that Rob’s more protective than Edward to his Princess, Kristen.  If Rob’s Edward, he wouldn’t have left Bella in New Moon; and Jacob would never have a part in Twilight! There wouldn’t have been New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn because he would have changed Bella in Twilight (made her a vampire); married her; and started their Forever there…(Eclipse commentary says it all…lol).


What if Rob was already in Los Angeles when his Little Doll got hurt?  How did he react when he got the call that his baby was hurt?

Here’s one scenario:

Rob at Waters for Elephant press conference: 
 *Phone buzzes.  New text message received*

KText:  “Baby, I’m in pain.  I think I broke my thumb.

Rob:  *Eyes bulging… Started to fidget… His face contorting… Abruptly stood up, excused himself and left the room.  Dialed Kristen’s number.*

Kristen:  *Sobbing*  “B-Babe?”

Rob:  “Baby, what happened?  Who fucking hurt you?  What the hell are they doing to you?  Why haven’t they called an ambulance?  Who’s there with you right now?  Are you in pain?  Did you take some meds?  Is your heart rate normal?  How about your blood pressure?  Are you lying down… Fuck… What’s taking it too long for the paramedics to arrive?  Baby, talk to me!  I’m dying here!”

Kristen:  *Cried harder*  “I’m here!”

Rob:  *Started to pace*  “Sweetheart, you gotta calm down… Take a deep breath!  What happened?  Who broke your thumb?  And where the hell is the doctor?  Goddamn it!  Baby… please…don’t cry…” *Inhales*

Kristen:  “I wish you were here!”  *Yells in pain!*

Rob:  *Now, really worried* “Oh my God, baby… What can I do? Oh, please, be okay for me, baby… Tell me what you want, you got it… Just… Just be okay…” 

Kristen:  “I’m okay, baby… I have an icepack over it.  I’m waiting for the car to get here.  They’re taking me to see a doctor.”

Rob:  *Cussing*  “I’m going there.  I have to be there.”

Kristen:  “Baby, no.  It’s okay.  I’ll be there soon.”  *Sighs*  “I guess it’s my fault, too, because I wasn’t paying attention.  I was missing you and I was thinking of you. We were rehearsing a fight scene, then, I guess, I did something wrong because I was suddenly on the floor yelping.”

Rob:  *Now in tears*  “It’s my fault!  I shouldn’t have left you there!”

Kristen:  “Stop!  Don’t say that.  I can’t help missing you.”

Rob:  “I miss you, too, baby.  I love you.”

Kristen:  “I love you, too.  The car is here.  I got to go.”

Rob:  “I want to be with you.”

Kristen:  “You’re with me, honey.  I’m wearing your sunglasses, our necklace, our ring, and your shoes!”

Rob:  “Then keep those with you until you’re back in my arms, okay?!”

Kristen:  “Okay, baby.  I love you.”  *Hangs up*

Rob:  *Dials another number; phone rings; someone answers*  “WHO THE FUCK HURT MY BABY?”

**** AH-OH!****


All copyrighted photos used in this blog
belong to their rightful owners.
No copyright infringement intended.
This is fiction. Thank you so much!

Get well soon, Kristen.
We Love You Much!!!

Rob:  “Baby, do you need help?  I don’t want you hurting your thumb, you know.”
Kristen:  “No, honey.  I’m okay.  I can do this?”
Rob:  “But--”
Kristen:  *Exhales*  “Robert… I’m fine. I said I can do this… So, stand still. Okay?”
Rob:  “But… But, I’m dying here…”
Kristen:  *Sighs*  “If I have to push down your jean’s zipper with my teeth, I’ll freakin’ do it.  So, again.  Stay put and let me…”  *Sighs*  “And, sweetie, contain yourself a little bit, please… “It” doesn’t help--”
Rob:  *Breaths hard*  “But you said, ‘teeth!’  How in the world am I gonna contain myself?”
Kristen:  *Smirks* 
Rob:  *Looks down* “Goddamn it!”
Kristen:  “There!”
Rob: *Groans*
Jella:  “It’s feeding time again!”


Tom:  “Why are you smiling?”
Rob:  “I’m not smiling.”
Tom:  “Yes, you are.”
Rob:  “No, I’m not.”
Tom:  *Studies Rob*  “Kristen told me she’s removing her splint today.”
Rob:  *Scowls*  “NO. SHE’S NOT!”
Tom:  *Confused*  “No?  But her thumb is fine!”
Rob:  “I know that and I’m relieved about that.  I want my Kristen healthy.
Tom:  “But you don’t want the splint removed?”
Rob: *Quiet*
Tom:  “I don’t get it!”
Rob:  *Grins widely* 
Tom:  “Whipped.  Both of you!”
Rob:  “No, we’re just creative!”


Snow White:  “So, how did you injure your thumb?  You’re a vampire now, you’re supposed to be indestructible.”
Bella:  “Girl, two words:  VAMPIRE SEX!”


Tom:  “You broke Kristen’s thumb?”
Rob:  “No, I did not!”
Tom:  “So, it’s not broken?”
Rob:  “No.”
Tom:  “But you hurt it.”
Rob:  *Sighs*  “It’s her idea.”
Tom: *Confused*  “It’s Kristen’s idea to hurt her thumb?”
Rob:  “NO!  It’s her idea we, um…”
Tom:  “What?” *Suppresses giggle*
Rob:  *Looks away with a big fat smile on his face*  “It’s her idea to, um, re-live a scene in Breaking Dawn.”
Tom:  “Which scene?”
Rob:  “Her first night as a vampire.”
Rob:  *Rolls eyes*  “NO!”
Tom:  “Wait.  Edward and Bella’s first night together in the cabin?”
Rob:  *Beams*
Tom:  *Incredulous* “You mean..”  *Wide eyes*  “But most of it are camera tricks and effects!”
Rob:  “Oh, there was no camera when we recreated the scene, man.  Awesome!”
Kristen:  “Robert!  Are you bragging again?”
Tom:  *Looks at Kristen, then at Rob… Then, back at Kristen.  Shakes head*  “You, two, are something!”
R/K:  “Yes, we are!”


Kellan:  “I told you it’s not work-related!  Pay up, Lautner!  Woo-hoo!  I’m a hundred dollar richer!”
Lautner: “Damn!  How do you injure yourself making love?!”
Kellan: “Oh, you’re young.  You’re too vanilla still.  You got things to go, buddy.  You’ll learn.  Let me teach you some…”
Lautner:  “Are you kidding me?”
Kellan:  “It’s not, like, I’m gonna show you…”
Lautner:  “Eww… I don’t mean that!  I meant, if I want a teacher, I’d better get the best.”
Kellan:  “And I am the best!”
Lautner:  “Has your girlfriend ever been injured while at the throes of passion?”
Kellan:  “Um.  No.”
Lautner:  “In that case, I’m asking Rob to teach me.  I bet Kristen can attest that he is the best!”

As tweeted on February 18, 2011

Tom: "What happened to Kristen's hand?"
Rob: "Um, she gripped too hard...and the thing, um, jerked!"
Tom: "What thing?"
Rob: "THE THING!" #Robsten

Tom: "So, with Kristen's hand injured, she cannot--"
Tom: "I was gonna say cook!"
Rob: "Oh!" #Robsten

Tom: "Your girl is injured & you let her travel without you?"
Rob: *Gasps* "Oh no! I'm a bad boyfriend!"
Tom: *Smirks and thinks: “This is too easy!”* #Robsten

Rob: "Just lie down, baby. I got this!"
Kristen: "Rob, it's just my thumb. I'm not invalid!"
Rob: "Let me take care of u, baby."
Kristen: But... Okaaaaay!"

Tom:  "How long before Kristen gets better?"
Rob:   "Oh, she needs bed rest for weeks! Maybe months!"
Tom:  "You'll take care of her?"
Rob:   “YUP!" #Robsten

Lautner: "What happened to Kristen's hand? Is it work-related?"
Tom: "You should know! You were there!"
Lautner:  "I don't sleep with them, Tom!" #Robsten

Rob: "Baby, do u need help with the shower?"
Kristen: "I got it, babe!"
Rob: "Oh, you can't move your left hand. Let me unzip you, then bathe you!" #Robsten

Rob: "Baby, don't move!"
Kristen: *Moves*
Rob:  "I got it, honey! Ur injured!"
Kristen: "I'm just gonna change my clothes."
Rob: "I told you, baby... I got it!" #Robsten