Wednesday, July 20, 2011


All photos used in this blog belong to their rightful owners.

No copyright infringement is intended. Ever.  Pormise.
This is fiction. LOL…


Jella:  “So what have you learned, dude?”

Bear:  *Thinks*  “That daddy can howl?”

Jella:  “You mean, sing.”

Bear:  “No, howl.  Like… Unnnghhhh”  *Howls long & loud*

Jella:  *Guffaws*  “You’re one confused dog, dude.”

Bear:  *Glares*  “No, I’m not.  And I’m telling the truth.”

Jella:  “So, this howling father that we have… how often does he do it?”

Bear:  “Depends.”

Jella:  “On what?”

Bear:  “On Mom of course.”

Jella:  “Why is that?”

Bear:  “Coz it’s only when Dad talks to Mom on the phone or on the computer that dad howls.”

Jella:  “Okay.  Let me get this straight.  Dad’s howling depends on mom… But he doesn’t howl when mom is actually with him?”

Bear:  “I didn’t say that.”

Jella:  *Shakes head*

Bear:  “That’s when they howl together and speak tongues!”

Jella:  “So this means that mom howls, too.”

Bear:  “Well, you tell me. You were with mom these past couple of weeks.”

Jella:  “It’s more like a weeping sound that she makes.”

Bear:  “Yeah, dad wants mom to weep!  He said it in Eclipse commentary, remember?”

Jella:  “So why haven’t we heard them howl yet?”

Bear:  “Hhmm… Maybe because their screams are much louder than their howls.”

Jella:  “Why do you think they’re screaming? That was annoying by the way.  Jeez!  As soon as daddy laid his stuff on the floor, he grabbed mommy and the screaming fest began…”

Bear:  “Do you think it’s what they call yoga?”

Jella:  “Oh, but I thought yoga is more like zen-harmony-thingee.”

Bear:  “It’s yoga then.  Coz after the screaming fest, they look happy and serene… so peaceful.”

Jella:  “But then they do it again… and again…”

Bear:  “Maybe yoga is also good for the vocal cords.”

Jella:  “Now that’s a good analogy, Bear.  Dad loves to sing.”

Bear:  “I think mom loves to sing more.”

Jella:  “Why do you say that?”

Bear:  “Because when mommy’s on all fours, you know… Inspecting daddy’s hips, tickles him with her tongue coz her hands support her weight, you know… Well, she hums.  Humming is considered singing, right?”

Jella:  “Good point, dude.  But then, when mommy hums, daddy howls.”

Bear:  *Smiles proudly*  “SO THAT’S YOGA!”

Jella:  “This yoga thingee is confusing the hell out of me.”

Bear:  “Oh, let us not talk about horse back riding!”

Jella:  “Now that boggles my mind completely! It’s more Mommy-Riding-Daddy!!!”

Bear:  “So, do you think Yoga and howling are one and the same?”

Jella:  “Like, yeah!!!”

Bear:  *Crunches nose*  “I think Mom and Dad are doing yoga again.”

Jella:  *Listens… Thud. Crash. Squeak. Growl….*  “That’s growling!”

Bear:  “So mommy’s on top!”

Jella:  “Ugh! Mommy is riding daddy again.  I bet daddy insisted!”

Bear:  “Yeah!  Mommy gives him whatever he wants.”

Jella:  “Why do you think that is?”

Bear:  “Because mommy gets her way during their yoga sessions?”

Jella:  “Could be.”

Bear:  “Well, did you hear that mommy may take karate or some fighting lessons?”



Jella:  “Let’s have faith in our parents.”

Bear:  “And this is love?”


Bear:  *Sighs*


Thursday, July 14, 2011


*All pictures, copyrighted or not,
belong to their rightful owners.*
*No copyright infringement intended*
*Thank you for reading, bbs!!!*

Uncle Tom Visits the Pattinsons…

Rob, Jr.:  “Uncle Tom!!!”

Tom:  “Hey, buddy.” *Takes 5-yeard old Robby in his arms*  “Where are your brothers?”

Rob, Jr.:  “TJ & Little JP are napping.”

Tom:  “And you?”

Rob, Jr.:  “I just woke up.”

Tom:  “Where are your mom and dad?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Oh…”  *Grins*  “Daddy is being a baby.”  *Laughs*

Tom:  *Nods*  “Yeah, your dad is a baby.”

Rob, Jr.:  “I know!”  *Sniggers*  “I went to their room to let them know I’m awake but mommy is…”  *Sniggers even more*

Tom:  *Chuckles*  “What is it that your mom is doing, buddy?” 

Rob, Jr.: “I think daddy wet his pants!”

Tom:  *Now with wide eyes*  “W-what was that?”

Rob, Jr.:  “I saw mommy changing daddy’s diaper!”

Tom:  *Just doesn’t know how to react*

Rob, Jr.:  *Still laughing*  “Daddy said, hurry up, honey, the kids will be up soon…”  *Giggles*  “I think daddy is embarrassed coz mommy still needs to change him!”  *Nods head*  “But not me!!! I’m a big boy now. I’m five!”  *Spread five fingers proudly*

Tom:  “Um… Well, buddy… Let’s go to the kitchen and get something to drink.”

*Five minutes later… Rob & Kristen joined Tom and Robby… Looking somewhat flushed… and HAPPY!*

Rob, Jr.:  “Daddy!!! Are you feeling better now?”

Rob:  *Narrows brows*

Kristen:  *Looks at Rob*

Tom:  *Shakes head*

Rob, Jr.:  “I remember… It always feels better when you have fresh nappy on.”

Tom:  *Winks at Kristen; then guffaws*

Rob, Jr.:  *Turns to his mommy*  “Mommy, did you have a hard time changing daddy’s nappy?”

Kristen:  *Chokes*

Rob:  *Whispers to Kristen*  “I told you.  You forgot to lock the door again!”

Kristen: *Whispers back*  “You were the last one to get in our bedroom!*

Rob, Jr.:  “It’s okay daddy.  You don’t have to feel bad.  Uncle Tom said piss happens.”

Rob & Kristen:  “Tom!!!”

Tom:  “Well, what was I supposed to tell your son, huh?  That you were--”

Rob & Kristen:  “Shhhh….”

Tom:  “By the way… You, two, look… um… freshly--”

Rob, Jr.:  “Changed?”

Tom:  “Yeah.  Changed.”  *Laughs*

Kristen:  *Changes Subject*  “Guys, what do you want for supper?”

Tom:  “You’re hungry again?  You just ate?”

Rob:  *Grins*  “Oh, yeah…”

Rob, Jr.:  “Oh, you brought snack to your room, mommy?  I thought we’re not allowed to do that?”

Tom:  *Whispers to Rob*  “Good luck.”

Rob:  “Robby, remember we, um, had a snack earlier.  Mommy had too much, I guess.”

Kristen:  “Um… Yeah…” *Eyes Rob*  “I’m still FULL!”

Tom:  “Oh, I bet!”

Rob, Jr.:  “Oh, uncle Tom… Do you know that daddy still thinks he’s a vampire?”

Kristen:  “What?  Sweetie, daddy is not a vampire.”

Rob, Jr.:  “I know… I know… Daddy isn’t a real vampire.  Just on movies.”

Rob:  “Son, why do you say I still think I’m a vampire.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Because you’re sucking mommy’s neck again!”

Rob:  “I- uh…” *Lost for words*

Rob, Jr.:  “Look at mommy!”

Tom and Rob:  *Looks at Kristen*

Rob, Jr.:  “She has a bite mark on her neck again!”

Kristen:  “Oh, shi… sh… shush!”

Rob, Jr.:  *Frowns*  “Mommy you’re shushing me!”

Kristen:  “No… No…. I, uh, almost spilled the chicken broth.”

Tom:  *Now hysterically laughing*  “Oh, god!  I love coming to your home… Robby is a riot!  Too smart for his own good!”

Rob, Jr.:  *Beams*  “I am smart!”

Tom:  “Vampire Rob!”

Rob, Jr.:  *Laughs with Tom*  “Daddy loves to suck mommy!”

Tom:  *Laughs even louder*

Rob:  *Dumbfounded*

Kristen:  *Hand on her neck, feeling the skin*  “It’s, ah, NOT a bite mark…”

Tom:  “Oh, you fell and hurt your neck?”  *Innocent look on his face*

Kristen:  “YES.  THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.”  *Looks menacingly at Tom*

Rob:  “Where did you fall, babe?  *Winks at his wife*

Tom:  *Whispers to Rob but Kristen overhears*  “Your wife fell on your mouth and teeth!” 
Kristen:  *Flushing and mouthed, “SHUT UP” *

Rob, Jr.:  *Runs to give his mommy a hug*  “Did you get hurt mommy?”

Kristen:  *Takes son into her arms, then smiles at him*  “No, sweetie.  I’m okay.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Do you want daddy to kiss it so it won’t hurt anymore?”

Tom:  “Um, he just did!”  *Shoulders shaking from laughing hard*

Rob, Jr.:  “Well, I didn’t see it!”  *Turns to Rob*  “Daddy you better kiss mommy’s a-wee.”

Rob:  *Ruffles son’s hair, then kissed Kristen’s neck… Then lingers to kiss her lips*

Rob, Jr.: “Daddy, I don’t think mommy’s lips are hurting.”  *Giggles*

Tom:  “I beg to differ!”

Rob, Jr.:  *Turns to Tom*  “Uncle Tom, when are you going to have kids?”

Tom:  *Flustered*  “Whoa!!!”

Rob:  *Arms around wife’s waist*  “Yeah, Tom.  When are you going to have kids?”

Kristen:  “He needs to find a wife, first.”  *Laughs*


**** Tee-Hee****

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Accent, work out, and horseback riding...

Like all my posts… This is fiction.
All pictures belong to their rightful owner/s.
No copyright infringement intended.
Thank you for dropping by.


Jella:  “So, why do you talk like that?”

Bear:  “You mean like daddy?”

Jella:  “Yeah.”

Bear:  “Daddy’s teaching mommy how to talk like he does.”

Jella:  “And?”

Bear:  “Well, I couldn’t help but pick up the accent.”

Jella:  “What did you learn then?”

Bear:  “That there are two words that can be spoken the same; be it with mommy’s way of talking or daddy’s.”

Jella:  “What are these words?”

Bear:  “Fuuuuuuck and Yeeeeessssss… Oh, and every sound they make when they they’re hovering each other.”

Jella:  “Mommy’s learning daddy’s accent then?”

Bear:  “Ooooh yes, darling.”

Jella:  “Shut up!”

Bear:  “Sorry… I got carried away.”

Jella:  “Is daddy a good teacher?”

Bear:  “I--- um--- I’m not sure.”

Jella:  “What?  Mommy needs the training.  She needs to speak like dad before she goes to London to shoot Snow White.”

Bear:  “There’s just too much I LOVE YOUs when they talk…”

Jella:  “What do you mean?”

Bear:  “It’s just that… They’d start talking, like, you know, converse normally, talking about stuff…”

Jella:  “But I think that’s good.  That’s how it’s supposed to go.  Mommy needs to hear how Brit speaks.”

Bear:  “Yeah, I know that.  But then daddy would say, “you’re a natural,” then mommy kisses him and say, “you’re a great teacher.”  Then, daddy goes, Well, Miss Stewart, you get an A+.  Then, mommy smiles and bats her eyelashes and say, “Why, thank you Professor Pattinson.”  Then, they kiss.  After a while daddy starts saying his I LOVE YOUs; and then mommy says it back… Then, daddy calls mommy MRS. PATTINSON, my princess… Then, mommy, for some reason, starts calling daddy, “DADDY,” which makes them both giggle… Then, they forget the lesson… Then, they decide to work out.  I mean, it’s frustrating, Jella, coz, then, they forget about me.”

Jella:  “Did mommy gain weight there?”

Bear:  “Maybe.  Daddy has been feeding her.”

Jella:  “And daddy?”

Bear:  “Well, I guess.  Mommy has been feeding him as well.”

Jella:  “Oh, okay.  Then they need their work out.”

Bear:  “I know… But all the time?  Even in daddy’s trailer?  Don’t you think that’s too much?”

Jella:  “No.  Not at all.  This is good then.  Mommy’s getting the exercise she needs; plus her accent lessons…”

Bear:  “But no time for me.”

Jella:  “Oh, get over yourself.  I’ve read the adoration people are pouring over mommy, daddy, and you via tweets and blogs, and some articles… like you’re one happy family.”

Bear:  “Oh no!  I’m famous again?”

Jella:  “Shut up!  Just enjoy the ride, kid.  So, what else did mommy and daddy do?”

Bear:  “Did I mention to you that mommy adored daddy’s new haircut for hours…”

Jella:  “That’s not new.”

Bear:  “…Without clothes on.”

Jella:  “Like I said… That’s not new.”

Bear:  “Mommy showed daddy how to ride a horse, by the way.”

Jella:  “How did that go?”

Bear:  “Exhausting.”

Jella:  “Why do you say that?”

Bear:  “I watched them and boy was that intense.  Daddy pretended to be the horse… I didn’t know horse can be ridden like that.”

Jella:  “Like what?... You know what?  I got the picture.”

Bear:  “I love mommy.  I’m gonna miss her.”

Jella:  “Like I miss daddy.”

Bear:  “And I miss you.”

Jella:  “As I miss you.”

Bear:  “We’re coming home soon.”

***** The End *****

Wednesday, July 6, 2011



This is kind of explicit or suggestive;
so I suggest that if you’re not
into this kind of “stuff” to
not to continue reading this post.

I apologize in advance if this offends you. 
This is, as all of my posts, FICTION.

Thank you for visiting this blog.

All pictures used in this post,
copyrighted or not, belong
to their rightful owner/s.
No copyright infringement intended.

Jella:  “Mom and Dad okay?”

Bear:  *Sighs*  “I guess…”

Jella:  “You guess?”

Bear:  “Yeah, coz they’ve been really lazy.”

Jella:  *Laughs*  “You mean busy.”

Bear:  “No! L-A-Z-Y, Lazy!”  *Shakes head*

Jella:  “Lazy?  What do you mean lazy?”

Bear:  “Lazy.  As in lying on bed.”

Jella:  “Oh, so they’re busy.”

Bear:  “Jella, I’m telling you.  They’re lazy.”  *Exasperated*  “Mom & Dad are so lazy and I’ll tell you how I know this.  One:  They’re so lazy they couldn’t even put their clothes on.  Two: They get thirsty from lying on bed but they’re too lazy to get up to get a glass of water.  So they just drink each other's spit; sucking each other’s mouth like vacuums.  And not only that!  Daddy gets so thirsty he sucks on mommy’s other set of lips.”

Jella:  “We-we-wait!  What do you mean other set of lips?”

Bear:  “I know!  I was so surprised!  I didn’t know mommy has two sets of lips.”

Jella:  “Dude, you’re being silly.  Humans have lips and they’re located just below their nose.”  *Chuckles*

Bear:  “That’s what I thought! Well, you’re wrong.  We’re both wrong.  Apparently mommies have lips below their nose; and lips below their belly button!”  *Nods head*  “Neat, huh?!?”

Jella:  *Thinks*  “Ohhhhh.  I thought… Well, that figures.”

Bear:  “Figures what?”

Jella:  “Why daddy feeds mommy’s other lips with his long fingers.” 

Bear:  *Crunches whiskers*  “Well, whatever it is that daddy feeds mommy there; surely is delicious because mommy loves it!  She moans long-- and it's not just any moan-- it's a moan that pulls from the gut; through her throat... and then finally through her lips... A throaty, deep moan! That must be some finger-food, daddy feeds her!”

Jella:  “But daddies don’t have lips below their belly button, do they?”

Bear:  “No; but they seem to have a built-in straw.  A huge one!”

Jella:  *Gasps*  “Oh, right!!! I remember.  Mommy had to really open her mouth to suck it and the more she does; the more daddy’s built-in straw grows and stretches.”

Bear:  “That’s right!”  *Gets quiet*

Jella:  “What?”

Bear:  “I just don’t know if mommy likes what she sips from daddy’s straw.”

Jella:  “Why do you say that?”

Bear:  “Coz she spits out some of it.”

Jella:  “Think about it, Bear… If mommy doesn’t like daddy’s juice, then why does she keeps on pumping it until daddy has no more; until he twitches & grips on to mommy so tightly?”

Bear:  *Ponders*  “I guess you’re right, Jella… I just don’t get why they get lazy every time they reunite after being away from each other for a while.  Before mommy arrived, daddy was soooooo active… picking up his undies and clothes on the floor; making sure the room looks pretty for mommy… And then, the moment mommy arrives, boom!  That’s it!”

Jella:  “That’s it, what?”

Bear:  “Mommy didn’t even have the chance to appreciate daddy’s work because daddy yanked mommy’s shirt off; then, sniffed her, licked her, tasted her like he’d never eaten for days…”

Jella:  *Sniggers*  “You got that right!”

Bear:  “Then, daddy just flung mommy’s clothes everywhere… Mommy’s bra is still hanging on the ceiling fan, mind you!”

Jella:  *Guffaws* 

Bear:  “Then, mommy got so impatient that she yelled at daddy: “Fucking, hurry!!!” over and over!!!”

Jella:  “Yup!  That sounds like mommy.”

Bear:  “Then when they’re finally without clothes… that’s when they get lazy…”

Jella:  “Why do you say that, Bear?”

Bear:  “Coz, that’s when they just rely on each other.  When mommy was above daddy; he gets so lazy that he wouldn't even thrust... So, he holds mommy’s waist with his big hands; and just lift her up and down… REPEATEDLY... OVER AND OVER... You know what I mean?”

Jella:  “But you can’t call that lazy?  That’s actually creative!  That’s their giving and taking ritual.”

Bear:  *Thinks again*  “Yeah, I guess you can call it that.  Coz, when it was daddy who was hovering mommy… Mommy just laid on her back as daddy pounded… "  *Sighs*  "Jella?”

Jella:  “Yes, Bear?”

Bear:  “So, why do mommy and daddy do that?”

Jella:  “You mean the work out?”  *Sighs*  “Bear, my dear brother, mommy and daddy need the work out because they need to get fit for their job, you know… I once heard daddy that it’s the best work out ever… And it’s true, coz it wouldn’t take them an hour to perspire.  Even when they do it slow and tender... They still end up twitching in the end... Whatever speed their workout is... they burn calories!”

Bear:  “Ohhhhh… And by the way, you once told me about their feeding ritual...”

Jella:  “When they work out, they perspire and they have to replace the liquid that comes out from their body so they share their spit to replenish… Plus, I heard that working out makes you hungry.  So, mommy allows daddy to lick her… for nourishment, you know… And they have a lot of ways to feed each other…”

Bear:  “Oh, I noticed…  Sometimes, they feed each other while they’re working out… And you’re right… They sweat like crazy!!!”

Jella:  “So now you believe me when I say they’re not being lazy.  MOMMY AND DADDY GET BUSY WHEN THEY’RE TOGETHER.  ALL THE TIME!!!  They love working out.”

Bear:  “I noticed.  They don’t fucking stop!”

Jella:  “Bear!!! Watch your language!!!”

Bear:  “Well, I can’t help it!!!  They yell “Fuuuuuuuck!!!”  Mom and dad, both; while working out, Jella!!!  And the moaning and groaning… And the constant pumping, pounding, slapping…Ugh!”

Jella:  “Umm, Bear… They’re not done yet!”

Bear:  “I guess they’ll never be done.  They even worked out while taking a bath… I heard them… and the “Fuuuuuck”  and “Yeeeeeeeessssss” were moaned and yelled over and over.

Jella:  “So, what are they doing now?”

Bear:  “Yoga.”

Jella:  “Oh, boy.  How’s daddy taking it?”

Bear:  “Like a little kid in a candy store!”

Jella:  “Wait till mommy does her backbends and inversions yoga poses…”

Bear:  “Well, mommy isn’t wearing anything now… And I heard her say, “Baby, this is what we call a full boat pose…”  And daddy just grabbed her… And he’s about to work mommy out again.”

Jella:  “So she’ll never get to show him her other advanced yoga poses.”

Bear:  *Groans*  “So this means more workout?”

Jella:  “More work out!”

Bear:  “So they’re busy… Not lazy!”

Jella:  “You got that right, boy!”