THE MORE, THE MERRIER...

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All photos, copyrighted or not,

belong to their rightful owner/s.

No copyright infringement intended.

This is fiction.  Yeah.

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GRANDPARENTS PATTZ VISITING…

Rob, Jr.:  “Grandpa! Grandma!”  *Runs to embrace grandparents*

Grandpa Pattz:  “Robby!  You’re a big boy now!”

Rob, Jr.:  *Embraces Grandpa*  “Yes! I am.”

Grandpa Pattz:  *Embraces Robby*  “Oh, how I’ve missed you so…”

Rob, Jr.:  “Did you have a comfy ride from the airport to here, Grandpa?”

Grandpa Pattz:  *Smiles*  “Why yes, thank you.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Mommy and Daddy stayed up late to steam clean the car.”

Rob:  *Wide eyes*

Kristen:  *Clears throat; looks at Rob*

Grandma Pattz:  “Cleaned the car?”  *Was sure the car needs cleaning*

Rob, Jr.:  “Yes!  Mommy and Daddy stayed in the garage for a long time, cleaning the car for you, Grandma.  I went looking for them because little JP woke up and I found them in the garage.”

Rob:  “Whoa… Robby…”  *Coughs*  “Why don’t you help me bring---”

Rob, Jr.:  *Ignores his daddy*  “…But I saw that they were using the steam vacuum--- Well, I couldn’t really see because of the steam on the windows --- but the car was rocking, so I figured mom and dad are working really HARD preparing your ride---”

Kristen:  “Robby!!!”

Rob, Jr.: “Oh, that’s alright, mommy.  I took care of JP.”

Grandma Pattz:  “Oh, my lord.”

Rob:  *Shakes head*  “Um, Robby, could you check on your brothers, please…”

Rob, Jr.: “Okay, daddy…”  *runs* 

Grandma Pattz:  “My god, Rob! Kristen! The kids notice everything.  Jules called me and told me about the David and Goliath incident.  You should have been more careful. ”

Rob:  “Why do you think we were in the garage, mom?”

Grandpa Pattz:  “Well…” *Chuckles*  “I’d say that was creative!”

Rob:  *Beams*  “Oh, yeah!”

Kristen:  *Elbows husband*  “I’ll check on the kids and then start cooking.  Mom and dad are joining us for dinner tonight.”

DINNER TIME

Kristen:  “Baby TJ is fast asleep.  Let’s eat.”

Grandma Pattz:  “This is an intricate dish, Kristen.”  *Nods in approval*

Rob, Jr.:  “That’s because mommy makes sure she has everything in the pantry, Grandma.”

Kristen:  *Kisses son’s forehead*  “That’s right, son.”

Rob, Jr.:  “---And daddy helps you organize the pantry all the time, huh, mommy?”

Rob:  *Chokes* 

Rob, Jr.:  “When mommy is in the pantry, daddy asks me to look after my little brothers so he could help mommy in the pantry.  I always do a good job taking care of my brothers.  And daddy does a really, really good job helping mommy as well.”  *Giggles*  “Because when they come out from the pantry, they're sweating like pigs!” 

Grandparents:  *Dumbfounded*

Rob:  *Clears throat*  “Because it’s hot in there and I have to carry—”

Grandpa Pattz:  *Threw a knowing look at Rob*  “Well… when you lift boxes upon boxes of canned goods, of course you’ll, um, perspire.”

Rob, Jr.:  “That’s why daddy takes his shirt off…”

Little JP:  “Mommy kwisses daddy’s chest!”  *Innocent eyes*

Grandma Pattz:  “Rob!  Kristen!”

Grandma Stew:  “Really?”  *Lashes sideway glance to both Rob and Kristen*

Rob, Jr.: “Oh, but there’s nothing to worry about.  Daddy and mommy always take shower after their pantry time!”

Kristen:  “Robby, sweetie, eat your food.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Okay, mommy.  This is delicious.”  *Thinks*  “Oh, Grandma? Grandpa?”

Grandparents:  “Yes, Robby?

Rob, Jr.:  “You’ll be surprised how clean our clothes are.”

Rob & Kristen:  *Look questioningly at Robby*

Rob, Jr.:  *Turns to grandparents*  “We have another new washing machine and new dryer!”

Grandpa Pattz:  “Another new washing machine and new dryer?”

Rob:  “You’d better finish your food, Robby. Mommy made loquat pie for dessert.”

Rob, Jr.:  *Pretends he didn’t hear his daddy*  “Yeah.  It just got delivered yesterday.  I guess it’s working well for us. Right, mom?”

Grandpa Stew:  “Why what happened to the set you purchased not even three months ago?”

Kristen:  *Shrug shoulders* 

Rob:  *Grins*  “It wasn’t, um, sturdy enough.  It couldn’t hold, am, a HEAVY LOAD.”

Kristen:  *Pinches hubby’s tummy*

Rob:  *Laughs but kisses wife’s lips*

Little JP:  “I saw mommy kwisses daddy’s showts.”  *Continues to eat*

Grandparents:  *Gasps*

Kristen:  *Blushes*  “Do you want more potatoes, JP, honey?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Mommy?”  *Crunches eyebrows (like his father does sometimes)* 

Kristen:  “Yes, sweetie?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Why does daddy remove the buttons of your shirt when you do laundry together?  And why do you rip daddy’s shirt?”

Rob:  “Oh, um… Well, the old washing machine did that…”

Kristen:  “So we bought a new one…”

Rob, Jr.:  “Oh. Okay.”  *Continues to eat*

Rob:  *Winks at Kristen*

Rob, Jr.:  *Groans*

Little JP:  “It’s eawly, mommy?”

Rob:  “W-What?”

Kristen:  “What is it honey?”

Grandma Pattz:  “Are you alright, Robby?  JP?”

Little JP:  “I’m not sweepy yet!”  *Pouts like his daddy*

Rob, Jr.:  “I haven’t even finished my food yet!  And I want dessert!”

Kristen:  “No one’s sending you to bed yet, Robby.  What is this all about?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Well…”  *Scowls*  “Daddy winks at you… And when he winks, that means it’s time for us to take our bath, then go to sleep!  So he can kiss you all night!!!”

Rob:  *Shakes head; smiling*

Kristen:  “What?  Does not true!”

Guest:  “Yes, too!  That’s why in five years you have three kids and another one on the way!”

Rob, Jr. and JP:    “Uncle Tom!!!! You’re here!!!!”  *Rush to jump into Uncle Tom’s arms*

Grandparents:  “Well… the more the merrier!”

***THE END***

"The Truth about David & Goliath... According to R/K..."

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All photos, copyrighted or not,

belong to their rightful owner/s.

No copyright infringement intended.

This is fiction.  Yeah.

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Rob:  “Um, Babe, what’s wrong with Robby?”

Kristen:  “I don’t know.  He’s been quiet since breakfast.”

Rob:  “Talk to him.  He’s scowling at me.”

Kristen:  “What do you mean?”

Rob:  “He’s wearing his bitchface… The one he got from you.”

Kristen:  “Shut up!” *Laughs*

Rob:  *Whispers*  “Here he comes.”  *Clears throat*  “What’s going on, son.”

Rob, Jr.:  *Ignores Rob*

Rob:  “Grandma & Grandpa are coming for dinner tonight… And Uncle Tom is coming, too!”

Rob, Jr.:  *Nods*  “Okay.”  *Leaves*

Rob: “Did you see that?”

Kristen:  “Let him be.  He’s five.”

Rob:  “Well, I guess…”

Dinner Time with Grandpa & Grandma Stew and Uncle Tom

Grandma Jules:  “Robby, sweetie, are you okay?”

Rob, Jr.:  “I’m fine, grandma.  Why don’t you ask Mommy and Daddy?”  *Looks away*

Grandma Jules:  *Threw Kristen a meaningful look*  “Well, how’s everything doing?”

Rob & Kristen:  “Great!”

Rob, Jr.: “Liar…liar… pants on fire!”

Grandpa John:    “Robby, why don’t you tell us what’s going on.”

Tom:  “Ah-oh.  Trouble in paradise?”  *Sniggers*

Rob, Jr.:  *Glares at Kristen & Rob*  “If you should know, Mommy & Daddy are fighting!”

Grandma Jules:  “Kristen?  Rob?”

Rob:  “No, we’re not!”

Grandma Jules:  *Eyeing Kristen suspiciously*

Kristen:  “We’re really not!”  *Turns to Rob, Jr.*   “Honey, what are you talking about?”

Rob, Jr.:  “I heard it all!  You, two, were fighting last night.  I had a bad dream and I ran to your room but I heard you were screaming at each other!”

Grandpa John:    “Kristen? Rob? Is this true?”

Rob & Kristen:  “No!”

Rob, Jr.: “Yes, too!”

Tom:  *Smirking*  “Why don’t you tell us what you heard, buddy?”

Rob, Jr.:  “I heard daddy slapping mommy… It’s true, I heard it!”  *Close to tears*  “Then, I heard mommy yell at daddy the F-word -- the one I cannot say --”  *Chokes*  “Then, mommy was in pain because she was moaning.  And…and mommy was complaining that it was harder…”

Rob & Kristen:  “No!!!” *Trying to stop their son from taking*

Rob, Jr.:  “I want to tell the story and I am not lying, mommy!  I heard it!”

Tom:  “Go ahead buddy, continue with your story…”

Rob:  “Uh… I think Robby is tired…”

Rob, Jr.:  “No, I’m not tired…” *Sobs*  “You hurt mommy, daddy.  You even banged her against the wall… I know coz I heard it… Mommy challenged you and said, “Don’t stop! Harder!”  And you did it…”

Grandma & Grandpa Stew:  *Wide eyes*  “Oh, boy.”

Rob, Jr.:  “That’s why you can’t swim with me and my little brother this afternoon because you have scratches on your back… Come on daddy, show them, I saw it when you changed before dinner… so Grandpa, Grandma, and Uncle Tom know I’m not lying…”  *Turns to Kristen*  “And Mommy… You have bite marks on your neck and chest… And even on your thighs!  Daddy told you to cover 'em up when you were wearing that tanktop and shorts… So you changed into that!”  *Pointed at Kristen’s outfit which is Rob’s button down shirt and her skinny jeans*  “You don’t love each other anymore…” *Starts to cry*

Tom:  *Failing to contain laughter*

Grandma & Grandpa Stew:  *Dumbfounded*

Kristen:  *Stands up to gather son in her arms*  “No, honey.  Mommy and Daddy didn’t fight last night.  I love daddy very much and I will never, ever, hurt him.”

Rob, Jr.:  *Sobbing*  “Why did you scratch daddy’s back then?”

Rob:  *Sits beside wife and held son’s hand*  “Robby, I told you a million times that my love for mommy is bigger than the universe…”

Rob, Jr.:  “Yeah, right!  You bit her hard… You slapped her hard… You banged her hard on the wall…”

Tom:  “Yeah Rob… What did you do to your wife?  To Robby’s mom?  Explain please…”

Rob:  *Hisses* “Shut up, Tom”

Rob, Jr.:  *Cries Harder*  “I don’t want you to fight!!!”

Kristen:  *Embraces son tightly to her*  “Honey, Daddy and I were… Um… We weren’t fighting… We were---”

Rob:  *Interrupts*  “Loving each other!”

Tom:  “And really hard!!!”  *Guffaws*

Rob, Jr.:  “I don’t believe you… I heard it….” 

Kristen:  *Rolls eyes at Rob & Tom*  “Robby, sweetheart, you have to believe me when I say I love your daddy and daddy loves me.”

Rob, Jr.:  “And the fighting?”

Kristen: “We weren’t fighting.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Mommy that’s a lie.  You told me to always say the truth.”

Kristen:  *Coughs*  “Of course!”  *Sighs*  “Daddy was just… Um… Practicing… I was, um, helping him prepare for his role for his new movie.”

Rob, Jr.:  *Stops, then thinks*  “But daddy’s next movie is “David & Goliath” and he is playing David.  The good guy!  So how can he be mean?”

Tom:  *Now laughing hysterically*

Grandma & Grandpa Stew:  *Giggling*

Kristen:  “Of course… Because we were trying to, um, see how Goliath going to react to David!”

Rob:  *Grins proudly*  “Little David got really, really excited!”

Kristen:  *Elbows husband*  “And since your daddy forgot the script in the car… we, ah, decided to adlib…”

Rob, Jr.: *Buying the crap his mother’s telling him*  “You mean you’re just making up the words?  So David is not going to say the F-Word, huh mommy?... We’re you David last night mommy?  Were you practicing the fight scene when Goliath was trying to scare David?”

Kristen: *Sighs a sigh of relief*  “Yes!”

Rob, Jr.:  “Did you get hurt when daddy banged you against the wall?”

Kristen:  “Um, no sweetie.  I--”  *closes eyes*  “I, used lots of  pillows as my shield.”

Rob, Jr.:  *Turns to Rob*  “You didn’t really hurt mom, huh daddy?”

Rob:  “No, son.  Actually, your mom loved it!”

Kristen:  “Robert!!!”

Tom:  *Tears in his eyes as he laughs*  “David and Goliath… This is epic!”

Rob, Jr.:  *Laughs with Tom*  “Daddy, will you be practicing with mommy again tonight.”

Rob:  *Grins*  “Absolutely!!!”

Rob, Jr.:  “Can I watch, pleeeeeaaase???!!!”

Grandpa John:    “LET’S EAT!”

Grandma Jules:  “Wow, Kristen, is this a new recipe.  This is good!” *Tries to change topic*

Rob, Jr.:  “Mommy cooks really good because daddy helps her relax while she cooks, Grandma!  Daddy gives mommy a massage when he thinks me and my little brother aren’t looking.”

Grandpa John:    “Whoa! Whoa! Is that a new shirt you’re wearing, Robby?!?  Is that Superman?”

Tom:  “Best Dinner Ever!”

---The End---

This is, of course, fiction…for now…

Mommy & Daddy have some explaining to do...

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All photos, copyrighted or not,

belong to their rightful owner/s.

No copyright infringement intended.

This is fiction.  Yeah.

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Rob, Jr.:  *Sulking*  “I don’t want to go to school anymore.”

Kristen:  “Sweetie, tell mommy what happened in school today?”

Rob, Jr.:  *Narrows brows*  “Teacher said I should not say things like that.”

Rob:  “Like what, son?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Well, she asked us to share something about our heroes...”

Kristen:  “And?”

Rob, Jr.:  “My friend, Timothy, said his daddy and his mommy are the greatest heroes in the world ever coz they, like, help children get better; coz they’re doctors.”

Kristen:  “Timothy admires his parents.  Which is why to him, his parents are the greatest.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Yeah…yeah…”  *Folds arms into chest*  “Then, Yi-Ching said her mommy helps feed the homeless at the Soup Kitchen downtown; and her dad runs the best Chinese restaurant, so they’re the greatest heroes.”

Rob:  “Yi-Ching’s mom is compassionate.”  *Chuckles*  “And her dad surely is a hero for helping feed those who cannot cook!”

Kristen:  *Threw husband her famous bitchface*

Rob:  *Clears throat*  “…Um, then, what happened?”

Rob, Jr.:  “So I told everyone that no one beats my heroes.”

Rob:  *Smiles*  “And who could those be?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Duh?  It’s you and mommy, silly daddy!!!”

Rob/Kristen:  *Beam proudly*

Kristen:  “And you told your class that mommy and daddy make movies?”

Rob, Jr.:  *Sighs*  “No!”

Kristen:  *Wonders*  “Why not?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Coz that’s like bragging.  Grandma Jules said that I shouldn’t brag just because you’re famous or something.”

Rob:  “What did you tell your teacher and classmates about us, Robby?”

Rob, Jr.:  “I told my class that my heroes are my mom and dad because they save lives.”

Rob/Kristen:  *Look at each other*

Rob, Jr.:  “I told everyone that mommy is a firefighter.”

Kristen:  *Dumbfounded*  “Firefighter?”  *Shakes head*  “Sweetie, why did you say that mommy’s a firefighter.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Because you are, mommy!”

Kristen:  “How do you figure that, baby?”

Rob, Jr.:   “Because you have that firefighter pole in your bedroom, and I saw you show dad how to climb up and slide down the pole... You slid down the pole upside down, mommy!  You were awesome!!!”

Rob:  *Chokes*

Rob, Jr.:  “Then, Daddy, caught you and he gave you a… um… that... thing…” *Thinks hard, then turns to Rob*  “Daddy, how do you say it again? Like those 911 people when they save people… Like when they lay down the dying person on the floor… then kinda pump the chest, and then a 911 person puts his mouth to give air to the dying person’s mouth’s so he could breathe again?”

Rob:  *Coughs*  “Um… Mouth-to-Mouth Resuscitation… Chest compression…” *Massages forehead*

Kristen:  *Mouth hanging open in surprise*

Rob, Jr.:  “So, I told everyone that my mom and dad are the best heroes in the whole wide word…”  *Stretches arms and formed circle for emphasis*  “… because you will never ever die…Ever!”

Kristen:  *Couldn’t find the words*

Rob:  “Um… Son… Mommy and daddy…”

Rob, Jr.:  *Interrupts* “… Are the best because they save each other from dying.  So me and my brothers and little sister will always have mommy and daddy… forever!”

Kristen:  *Eyes Rob.*  “…Because mommy and daddy love you very much…”

Rob, Jr.:  “Mommy, tell my teacher that I’m not making up stories… that you are a firefighter and daddy is a 911 person.  Okay?”  *Kisses his mom, then runs to play with siblings*

Kristen:  “I’m fucking taking out that pole!”

Rob:  “Oh, hell no!”

Kristen:  *Narrows eyes*

Rob:  “We’ll make sure that our door is locked!”

Kristen:  *Laughs*  “Oh, God… This is embarrassing, honey.  What are we going to tell Robby’s teacher when she talks to us tomorrow?”

Rob:  *Laughs*  “Why don’t you quit acting and home school the kids?”

Kristen:  *Raises eyebrow*

Rob:  “I’m kidding, my Sexy Firefighter!” *Kisses wife*

***Footsteps***

Rob, Jr.:  “Daddy, are you god?  Coz last night…”

Kristen:  “OH. MY. GOD!”

***Tee-Hee… Can’t wait for RobSten Babies***

***Thank you for reading***