Thursday, June 23, 2011

Mommy & Daddy have some explaining to do...

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belong to their rightful owner/s.
No copyright infringement intended.
This is fiction.  Yeah.

Rob, Jr.:  *Sulking*  “I don’t want to go to school anymore.”

Kristen:  “Sweetie, tell mommy what happened in school today?”

Rob, Jr.:  *Narrows brows*  “Teacher said I should not say things like that.”

Rob:  “Like what, son?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Well, she asked us to share something about our heroes...”

Kristen:  “And?”

Rob, Jr.:  “My friend, Timothy, said his daddy and his mommy are the greatest heroes in the world ever coz they, like, help children get better; coz they’re doctors.”

Kristen:  “Timothy admires his parents.  Which is why to him, his parents are the greatest.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Yeah…yeah…”  *Folds arms into chest*  “Then, Yi-Ching said her mommy helps feed the homeless at the Soup Kitchen downtown; and her dad runs the best Chinese restaurant, so they’re the greatest heroes.”

Rob:  “Yi-Ching’s mom is compassionate.”  *Chuckles*  “And her dad surely is a hero for helping feed those who cannot cook!”

Kristen:  *Threw husband her famous bitchface*

Rob:  *Clears throat*  “…Um, then, what happened?”

Rob, Jr.:  “So I told everyone that no one beats my heroes.”

Rob:  *Smiles*  “And who could those be?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Duh?  It’s you and mommy, silly daddy!!!”

Rob/Kristen:  *Beam proudly*

Kristen:  “And you told your class that mommy and daddy make movies?”

Rob, Jr.:  *Sighs*  “No!”

Kristen:  *Wonders*  “Why not?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Coz that’s like bragging.  Grandma Jules said that I shouldn’t brag just because you’re famous or something.”

Rob:  “What did you tell your teacher and classmates about us, Robby?”

Rob, Jr.:  “I told my class that my heroes are my mom and dad because they save lives.”

Rob/Kristen:  *Look at each other*

Rob, Jr.:  “I told everyone that mommy is a firefighter.”

Kristen:  *Dumbfounded*  “Firefighter?”  *Shakes head*  “Sweetie, why did you say that mommy’s a firefighter.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Because you are, mommy!”

Kristen:  “How do you figure that, baby?”

Rob, Jr.:   “Because you have that firefighter pole in your bedroom, and I saw you show dad how to climb up and slide down the pole... You slid down the pole upside down, mommy!  You were awesome!!!”

Rob:  *Chokes*

Rob, Jr.:  “Then, Daddy, caught you and he gave you a… um… that... thing…” *Thinks hard, then turns to Rob*  “Daddy, how do you say it again? Like those 911 people when they save people… Like when they lay down the dying person on the floor… then kinda pump the chest, and then a 911 person puts his mouth to give air to the dying person’s mouth’s so he could breathe again?”

Rob:  *Coughs*  “Um… Mouth-to-Mouth Resuscitation… Chest compression…” *Massages forehead*

Kristen:  *Mouth hanging open in surprise*

Rob, Jr.:  “So, I told everyone that my mom and dad are the best heroes in the whole wide word…”  *Stretches arms and formed circle for emphasis*  “… because you will never ever die…Ever!”

Kristen:  *Couldn’t find the words*

Rob:  “Um… Son… Mommy and daddy…”

Rob, Jr.:  *Interrupts* “… Are the best because they save each other from dying.  So me and my brothers and little sister will always have mommy and daddy… forever!”

Kristen:  *Eyes Rob.*  “…Because mommy and daddy love you very much…”

Rob, Jr.:  “Mommy, tell my teacher that I’m not making up stories… that you are a firefighter and daddy is a 911 person.  Okay?”  *Kisses his mom, then runs to play with siblings*

Kristen:  “I’m fucking taking out that pole!”

Rob:  “Oh, hell no!”

Kristen:  *Narrows eyes*

Rob:  “We’ll make sure that our door is locked!”

Kristen:  *Laughs*  “Oh, God… This is embarrassing, honey.  What are we going to tell Robby’s teacher when she talks to us tomorrow?”

Rob:  *Laughs*  “Why don’t you quit acting and home school the kids?”

Kristen:  *Raises eyebrow*

Rob:  “I’m kidding, my Sexy Firefighter!” *Kisses wife*


Rob, Jr.:  “Daddy, are you god?  Coz last night…”

Kristen:  “OH. MY. GOD!”

***Tee-Hee… Can’t wait for RobSten Babies***
***Thank you for reading***


  1. Too cute!! Love your perspective of their lives, hoping that some of it comes to fruition also. Someday .....

  2. Can we have more of this!? Pretty please! I want Robsten babies sooo bad. Thanks for your wonderful posts, they rock my world

  3. This entry is awesome!!~ I particularly love stories starring Robsten baby.

  4. that was so funny and cute i so love rob,Jr <3 i wish one day we will see robsten baby :) thanks again for this fiction was fun


  5. That was actually what I imagined Rob Jr would say or think... hehehehehehe... AWESOME!!!

  6. OMG! Thank you so much for you comments. I thought this is going to be a flop. Your comments inspire me to do more Rob, Jr. posts!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

    And, yes, I can't wait for the real R/K babies to grace the world!!!

  7. OMG...I nearly choked on my water. This was hilarious and genius writing Ofie. Sexy Firefighter and 911 person...LOL. Classic stuff.

  8. I started reading your posts, i guess half a year ago. Your stories are so funny. Hope we'll read more of them!

  9. its so beautifully done,i luv it