BREAKING-UP IS HARD TO DO…

*FICTION*

A big fight erupted at the Casa de Stewart-Pattinson. Both were fuming and couldn’t see reason. No one wanted to apologize or admit he/she is at fault. It’s been days since they last talked and the tension could be felt from miles away.

Finally, the two came to a conclusion that something had to be done:

Rob:            “This has to stop!”

Kristen:        “You’re right.”

Rob:            “I want everything back.”

Kristen:        “Oh, I agree.”

Rob:            “I want all my T-shirts and boxers back.”

Kristen:        “Fine. You gotta give me back my thongs.”

Rob:            “Just to be clear. I’ve never worn them. I just--- um--- kept them for

the… um… for the scent!”

Kristen:        “Whatever. I want them back.  I want every pie, every cupcake,

every dish I so painstakingly prepared for you…”

Rob:            “Fine. I want the trips back.”

Kristen:        “What?”

Rob:            “Well, when I took you to London to meet my parents and friends.

The New Years at Isles of Wight… I want them all returned to

me!”

Kristen:        “Then, I want all the visits to grandma in Colorado be given back

to me as well… And, I want the strip tease performances…

Rob:            “Oh yeah?  Then, I want all lovemaking, hard fuck, soft fuck,

kinky couplings, and all foreplay back!  Pronto!”

Kristen:        “Fuck!  You’re so…soooo… selfish!  I want every kiss, every caress,

every touch be delivered back to me; just the way I gave them to

you!”

Rob:            “Fine!  Here’s my down payment!”  *grabs Kristen, puts arms

around her tightly and practically shoved his mouth on hers and

kissed her hardly, tongue included… sucking her mouth like there’s no tomorrow.”

Kristen:        *Moans*  “Do you want your hard fuck back?”

Rob:            *Groans*  “Abso-fucking-lutely!” 

                   ***The couple undressed each other quite ferociously”****

***Four hours later (wink), Rob has collected 1 hard fuck, 2 soft fucks, and 1 love-making.  Kristen has gotten back .001% of kisses, caresses, and touches.***

Rob:            *Panting*  “Be ready to surrender the kinky stuff in 15 minutes!”

Kristen:        *Raises eyebrow*  “While you’re recuperating, why don’t you

perform a strip tease.  I need them back, you know!”

Rob:            *Eyes her… then smiles.  Slowly, he tenderly ran his fingers on her

face.  “You’re so beautiful.”

Kristen:        *Sighs*  “You just have to be sappy, huh.”  *Then, a lone tear

stubbornly burst from each of her green, green eyes*

Rob:            *Leans to kiss the tears away.*  “I was wrong.”

Kristen:        *Wraps her arm around Rob’s and drops a kiss on his chest* 

“You’re only human.”  *Smiles*

Rob:            *Chuckles*  “So, it’s my fault, then?”

Kristen:        *Nods*  “Now you admit it.”

Rob:            *Holds Kristen tightly to him*  “I love you.”

Kristen:        *Looks up to Rob*  “So, you want all your stuff back?”

Rob:            *Laughs*  “Oh, I got it all back, babe!”  *Winks at Kristen*

Kristen:        *Nods*  “I got it all back, too!  So?”

Rob:            “So?”

Kristen:        “We’re never breaking-up, are we?”

Rob:            “Never!  We have plenty of… um…stuff… to return to each other if we do.”

Kristen:        “Stuff, huh?”  *laughs*

Rob:            *Laughs*  “Yes, stuff!  And speaking of stuff, I need those kinky sex stuff right about now!”

Kristen:        “I love you!”

Rob:            “I know.”  *Starts taking back those hot, kinky stuff…*

Bear:           “And that is why and how, sometime next year, we’re going to have a baby master.”

Bernie/Jella:          “Owwwww….”