THE ROYALS OF LA COUNTY

FICTION

PHOTOS USED BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNER/S.  

NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED.  PROMISE.

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Rob, Jr.

Age:  5

Kindergarten

The “Show” of his “Show & Tell” item:  BK’s Paper Crown

… And this was "The Tell” part:

Whenever Daddy’s job takes him far, far away, he talks to me man to man and tells me that I am the King of our family while he’s gone.   My main job’s to make sure that Mommy; my brothers, DJ & Mac; and our four-legged family member are okay.  To make it official, Daddy took me to Burger King last night and… HE GOT ME THIS!!!  *Shows off his BK paper crown & puts it on his head*

Yes.  At the moment, I am the King.

Of course, Mommy is the Queen.  My brothers and I are the princes.  Daddy said that Kings rule the land; just like in the story books the he and mommy sometimes read to us.

*Stops, furrows brows*

But in my house, I think the King’s job is mainly to make sure the Queen is happy.  Daddy always says, “RJ, don’t make mommy upset,” or “RJ, do what mommy tells you, hurry!”  Daddy very rarely says no to mommy.  He loves mommy’s cupcakes and pies too much.  But I think he just loves mommy a lot, a lot, a lot.  Duh!  I get it.  I love mommy a whole bunch, too.  So do my brothers, I’m 100% sure.  Even I couldn’t say no to mommy. 

Aunt Lindsey says that none of us, Mommy’s men, can say “no” to her.  She says that we, the Pattinsons, are all whipped!  She could be right, you know.  When mommy bakes apple pie--- and, boy, does she make the best apple pie in the whole, wide world--- then, she puts whipped cream on top, and it’s just so delicious.  Or when she makes me hot cocoa drink and adds in whipped cream… I’m whipped!  Well, I think that’s what Aunt Lindsey mean.  So yeah, I’m truly whipped.  Just like daddy.

*Ponders*

I think it’s also The Look.  There’s just something in the way mommy looks at you when she means business or when she’s mellow.  I don’t get it because Daddy has green eyes too.  I got green eyes!  Whenever mommy yells:   “RJ, go brush your teeth. NOW!”  Boy, do I run faster than Edward Cullen when she uses her mommy-firm-voice and flashing you The Look.  But then again, when she says, “Sweetie, pick up your toys, please,” in such a loving way, then flashing you The Look… a different one, but it’s still A Look nonetheless… I get up even before she mutters the word, “please.” 

This morning, Daddy left for Canada.  He said he will be gone for 8 days. *Shows 8 fingers*  Mommy was so sad.  She even cried!  She always does whenever daddy’s off to work.  Daddy tickled her to make her laugh and said mommy’s crying because of mormons.  Mommy giggled and said that it’s daddy’s fault she pregnant again!  Sometimes, mommy and daddy’s talk are just weird.  

*Thinks*

I guess I get it now.  My daddy is from England.  When grandma and grandpa come to visit I see how grandpa takes care of my grandma.  I’ve never seen grandma put whipped cream on grandpa’s coffee--- So I cannot say that grandpa is whipped. I’m pretty sure though that grandma rules their home!

*Thinks harder* 

I get it!  England is ruled by the Queen.  I know this.  Daddy explained it to me.  Yeah!  That’s why at home, even though Daddy is the King, Mommy rules! *Claps* Whew!  I get it now. 

*Realizes something*

Oh, boy… Mommy and Daddy said that we will be welcoming my baby sister in two months.  Bummer!  We’re scrooge! She’s gonna rule us, too!

*Sighs, then, beams like his daddy*

But until then, teacher and classmates, I am the King of the Pattinson Household.  I got daddy's phone number on speed dial in my cellphone; just in case mommy cries again from missing daddy.  I'll demand daddy to come home if he's being away will make mommy very, very sad... I miss him already, too.  But, I have a job to do and I'll make Daddy proud.  The end!