24-K, SOLID GOLD!!!

IF YOU ARE THE REAL WIFEY 

OF ROBERT PATTINSON,

PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND 

WITH CONVICTION!!!

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IF YOU ARE DREAMING, HOPING, IMAGINING, LONGING, 

UM... PRETENDING *COUGH*

TO BE ROBERT PATTINSON'S WIFEY,

PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND!

NOW... NOW...

PLEASE, PUT AWAY THOSE FAKE SMILES 

AND TUCK AWAY THE OBVIOUS HATRED.

DO NOT --- I REPEAT --- DO NOT KILL EACH OTHER WITH FAKE PLEASANTRIES.  

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IF YOU ARE A "WANNA-BE..."
  IF YOU WANT TO BE FAMOUS...

IF YOU WANT TO USE EVERY CHANNEL--- 
EVERY FUCKING WAY 
TO GET YOUR 15-MINUTE OF FAME---
 WHETHER OR NOT YOU COME FROM

A "PROMINENT" FAMILY --- 
BY USING ROBERT PATTINSON'S POPULARITY

AND BANKABILITY... 
OR HIM, PERIOD...

 OR

IF YOU ARE INTENTIONALLY "HURTING"
OR PLOTTING TO HARM 
THE PEOPLE HE CARES ABOUT...

ESPECIALLY THE ONLY GIRL 
HE TRULY LOVES

AND IS TRULY WITH...

I GIVE YOU THIS... 

AND SHE CAN BE A BITCH!