I apologize but the weather is making me feel somewhat reflective. I meant to write something humorous, like Bear and Jella discussing Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez’s kiss at the Billboard Awards; but I guess my emotions are dictating me to go the other way. I hope you will still find this post worthy of your time. I thank you, in advance, for visiting RobSten for Life Blog.
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This is fiction. :)
May 17, 2011
Oftentimes I wonder if my being away is as difficult for you as it is for me. I know it’s not easy and I wish there were ways I could make a living without being away from you. I’m neither the most romantic nor the most creative when it comes to expressing my feelings for you; let alone putting my emotions into words. However, having spent time with them has taught me so much about love. At my age, you would think I’d seen it all. But alas, Cara, I know better now.
I stood not far from them as they said their goodbyes. Watching them cling to each other, not wanting to let go, ripped my already broken heart into pieces. “I love you,” she whispered over and over, her eyes brimming with tears. Perhaps he tried to be strong for both of them as he held back the tears. But he gripped her so closely to him, kissing her eyes, her nose, her face, then her lips. Mind you, Cara, they will only be apart for a couple of weeks, three at the most; but the separation, the thought that they won’t be in each other’s arms, brought so much sadness that’s hard for them to contain. I’ve seen it. I’ve witnessed their goodbyes so many times before. I should be used to this by now.
“I’ll think of you, Baby, and I’ll miss you like crazy,” she said, her hands on his face.
He closed his eyes savoring her every word. “I fucking love you so much,” he groaned before taking her lips one more time. It was a long, passionate kiss, Cara; a kiss that possibly helped their goodbyes a little easier.
Aware of the time, I cleared my throat and told them that it was time to go. Neither of them glanced my way but saw them nod to acknowledge me.
He’ll never love anyone but her. And she, I’m certain, would do anything for him; maybe even die for him. That’s how powerful their love is for each other.
Let me tell you one incident, Cara, which I’ll never forget.
One time, I was told I was needed and because I didn’t want them to wait, I arrived half an hour early. He opened the door, greeted me in his usual kind, friendly manner, and offered me a beer. She waved at me and said hello. “We won’t be long,” he said and went back to sit beside her.
I couldn’t really see what they were doing because the back of the couch was blocking my way. They were, however, sitting face to face. Not wanting to look like a freak watching them, I focused my attention on the TV.
“Don’t move,” I heard him say; like he was scolding her. That, by the way, only made her giggle.
“Sweetie, you’re doing it wrong,” she said, and burst out laughing.
“Well, do you want me to do it or not?” He asked, obviously flustered.
“Fine,” she sighed, still holding a big smile on her face.
They were both seriously focused on whatever they were doing. I guess it was out of curiosity when I found myself walking towards them and stood behind them. My eyes bulged out when I saw what they were doing. He was fucking painting her nails!
“You missed a tiny spot there,” she said, pointing.
“I’ll get it,” he assured her.
“Um, this is nice,” I said, trying to hold my composure.
“She couldn’t do her right hand so I do it for her,” he supplied without looking at me as he was focused doing the task of painting her nails; like it was but natural.
I have no words, Cara, so I went back to sit on the stool, smiling like a buffoon and feeling somewhat light. That’s how they are. Their love is without effort. They accept each other the way they are. Even the simplest thing they do it together. They are a team. They are each other’s strength; each other’s reason.
Do you know that when one of them travels, the other is always there to welcome him or her back? What the camera is yet to capture is a reunion like no other. You see, Cara, he prefers her in his arms all the time. When the prying eyes aren’t looking, her spot is on his lap because his arms belong around her waist.
The usual black SUV picked us up when we arrived at LAX. He knew, like I knew, that she was sitting inconspicuously in the back. As soon as we sped away from flashing lights, he pulled her to him, sat her on his lap and kissed her thoroughly, forgetting that there were other people in the vehicle. It wasn’t awkward if that’s what you want to know, Cara. Maybe at first but not anymore. There’s a moment of silence, like they’re savoring that very moment; just kissing and touching; and gazing at each other’s eyes; smiling like they’re the happiest people to ever live. Then, the “I love yous” and the “I miss yous” were muttered, like a broken record. Perhaps moments like that make them the happiest couple on earth.
If they could buy time to make it stand still, they would have bought it a long time ago so they’ll never have to part ever again.
If they could influence the distance to stop from growing, they would have done it so they’ll never be far from each other at all.
If they could dictate when, how, where, or with whom to do their jobs, they would have demanded it from the start so they’ll always be working together.
Oh but they know, Cara… They are confident; their faith never faltering… that they are each other’s future. Their loyalty in each other will take them there, to forever. Even, I, Cara, believe it. If you had asked me then what I think about their future, I would have said, “Only time will tell.” But after watching them nurture their love – their relationship – I am now hopeful of their tomorrows. Yes, they are young. There are challenges ahead of them. But they have the major ingredients to make it through. He puts her before himself; and him before herself. Doubt is just a thing of the past now.
So, Cara, we drove in silence for the first minute of our drive to the airport before her phone rang. “Hey, baby,” she greeted him, her voice hoarse from crying. I smiled because I knew that both were already looking forward for that moment when they are back in each other’s arms.
“I miss you already,” she said sighing. And before we arrived at the airport I heard her say, “I love you,” for the nth time; she then added, “I’ll be home soon.”
You see, Cara, she was going back to her place of birth; the place she was supposed to call home. But it’s not difficult to grasp the fact that her home is where he is; no matter where that is. Only with him, beside him, will she truly be home.
Their life isn’t as complicated as many people believe. They are in love. They plan for their forever.
And, I, Cara, want forever with you.
You are my home.