24-K, SOLID GOLD!!!

IF YOU ARE THE REAL WIFEY 

OF ROBERT PATTINSON,

PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND 

WITH CONVICTION!!!

******************************************************************************

IF YOU ARE DREAMING, HOPING, IMAGINING, LONGING, 

UM... PRETENDING *COUGH*

TO BE ROBERT PATTINSON'S WIFEY,

PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND!

NOW... NOW...

PLEASE, PUT AWAY THOSE FAKE SMILES 

AND TUCK AWAY THE OBVIOUS HATRED.

DO NOT --- I REPEAT --- DO NOT KILL EACH OTHER WITH FAKE PLEASANTRIES.  

******************************************************************************

IF YOU ARE A "WANNA-BE..."
  IF YOU WANT TO BE FAMOUS...

IF YOU WANT TO USE EVERY CHANNEL--- 
EVERY FUCKING WAY 
TO GET YOUR 15-MINUTE OF FAME---
 WHETHER OR NOT YOU COME FROM

A "PROMINENT" FAMILY --- 
BY USING ROBERT PATTINSON'S POPULARITY

AND BANKABILITY... 
OR HIM, PERIOD...

 OR

IF YOU ARE INTENTIONALLY "HURTING"
OR PLOTTING TO HARM 
THE PEOPLE HE CARES ABOUT...

ESPECIALLY THE ONLY GIRL 
HE TRULY LOVES

AND IS TRULY WITH...

I GIVE YOU THIS... 

AND SHE CAN BE A BITCH!

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

************************

Again, this is fiction. Thanks for reading.

I don't know who released or edited Rob’s & Kristen’s baby-photos

 but @BearBernieTGC twitted it and, I, of course J retwitted it. 

Thank you, @BearBernieTGC.

Photo belongs to its rightful owner. 

No copyright infringement indented.

************************

Rob:	*Exclaims*  “George! That is a very noble name.  Very masculine.”
Kristen:	*Dumbfounded*
Rob:	*Blabbers on*  “According to this book, George is a masculine name derived from Greek word which means tiller or earth worker or a farmer.  See?!  Hardworking.  That’s how my boy is going to be!”
Kristen:	“And it’s okay with you if people will call him Boy George?”
Rob:	?
Kristen:	“Babe?”
Rob:	!
Kristen:	*Smiles smugly*
Rob:	*Throws Kristen a knowing look* “Next!”
Kristen:	“That’s what I thought.”  *Giggles*
Rob:	*Leafs through the pages of the Baby Name book*  “How a about Christopher?  It says here that it’s the most popular name in England…”  *Thinks*  “This is wrong.  I bet there are more Roberts in England--- So, Honey?  What do you think?  We can put Jaymes as his middle name.  Christopher Jaymes Pattinson!”  *Smiles sweetly, sensing victory*
Kristen:	“C.J. for short?” *Raises eyebrow*
Rob:	“Yeah---Noooooooo!!!” *Scratches head and mumbles*  “My son will never be called CJ!”
Kristen:	*Laughs*  “I think I like it!  Christopher Jaymes.  CJ for short.”
Rob:	“Shut up.”  *Goes back to reading the baby name book.
Kristen:	“How about a girl’s name?”
Rob:	“For my son?!?  No fucking way!”
Kristen:	*Slaps Rob’s tummy*  “The fuck, Rob?  I meant finding a girl’s name in case we’re having a girl.”
Rob:	*Fist pumps*  “Now we’re even”  *Mumbles* “Boy George… CJ…”
Kristen:	“How about John? Or Richard.  Either my dad’s name or yours.  Maybe both.  What do you think, babe?”
Rob:	“For a girl’s name?!  Kristen, I love you but I’m going to fight you with this.  We’re not naming our daughter John no matter how much we love your dad.
Kristen:	*Guffaws*  “I meant for our son!”
Rob:	“I think hormones playing with your memory, baby.  You just said we’re going to look for a girl’s name.”  *Smiles*
Kristen:	“Let me rephrase that then.  How about if we name our son John or Richard?
Rob:	“You’re kidding, right?”
Kristen:	“No.  I’m asking you.”
Rob:	“You know that the nickname for Richard is Dick, right?  So when his dick wants to go pee, he goes to the john.  Get it?  Dick?  John?  So, my answer is no.
Kristen:	*Nods vehemently*
Rob:	“How about a name that starts with the letter B?  You know, Bear, Bernie, Ba---”
Kristen:	*Snorts*  “Great.  Our son will continue our pet-naming legacy.”
Rob:	*Sighs*  “How about we just wait for him to name himself.”
Kristen:	*Sniggers*  “Seriously?  What are we going to name him for the time-being.”
Rob:	“Baby Boy.”
Kristen:	“And if at age 2 he wants to be called, Batman?”
Rob:	“Then he’s going to be Batman Pattinson.”
Kristen:	“And if he wants to be called Claudia?”
Rob:	*Takes deep breaths*  “Fine.”  *Goes back flipping the pages of the book* ----- *Stops*  “I got it.  We’re naming our son, “Robert Thomas Douglas Pattinson II… There.  Done.  RTD2 for short!”
Kristen:	*Hugs her man*  “I agree.”
Rob:	“Now that that’s done… What’s next in our agenda?” *Uses sexy voice, then, starts nibbling his baby’s earlobe*
Kristen:	“I need to go pee!”
Rob:	*Guffaws*
Kristen:	*Kisses her man, gets up… then runs to the bathroom*

THE ROYALS OF LA COUNTY

FICTION

PHOTOS USED BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNER/S.  

NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED.  PROMISE.

**************

Rob, Jr.

Age:  5

Kindergarten

The “Show” of his “Show & Tell” item:  BK’s Paper Crown

… And this was "The Tell” part:

Whenever Daddy’s job takes him far, far away, he talks to me man to man and tells me that I am the King of our family while he’s gone.   My main job’s to make sure that Mommy; my brothers, DJ & Mac; and our four-legged family member are okay.  To make it official, Daddy took me to Burger King last night and… HE GOT ME THIS!!!  *Shows off his BK paper crown & puts it on his head*

Yes.  At the moment, I am the King.

Of course, Mommy is the Queen.  My brothers and I are the princes.  Daddy said that Kings rule the land; just like in the story books the he and mommy sometimes read to us.

*Stops, furrows brows*

But in my house, I think the King’s job is mainly to make sure the Queen is happy.  Daddy always says, “RJ, don’t make mommy upset,” or “RJ, do what mommy tells you, hurry!”  Daddy very rarely says no to mommy.  He loves mommy’s cupcakes and pies too much.  But I think he just loves mommy a lot, a lot, a lot.  Duh!  I get it.  I love mommy a whole bunch, too.  So do my brothers, I’m 100% sure.  Even I couldn’t say no to mommy. 

Aunt Lindsey says that none of us, Mommy’s men, can say “no” to her.  She says that we, the Pattinsons, are all whipped!  She could be right, you know.  When mommy bakes apple pie--- and, boy, does she make the best apple pie in the whole, wide world--- then, she puts whipped cream on top, and it’s just so delicious.  Or when she makes me hot cocoa drink and adds in whipped cream… I’m whipped!  Well, I think that’s what Aunt Lindsey mean.  So yeah, I’m truly whipped.  Just like daddy.

*Ponders*

I think it’s also The Look.  There’s just something in the way mommy looks at you when she means business or when she’s mellow.  I don’t get it because Daddy has green eyes too.  I got green eyes!  Whenever mommy yells:   “RJ, go brush your teeth. NOW!”  Boy, do I run faster than Edward Cullen when she uses her mommy-firm-voice and flashing you The Look.  But then again, when she says, “Sweetie, pick up your toys, please,” in such a loving way, then flashing you The Look… a different one, but it’s still A Look nonetheless… I get up even before she mutters the word, “please.” 

This morning, Daddy left for Canada.  He said he will be gone for 8 days. *Shows 8 fingers*  Mommy was so sad.  She even cried!  She always does whenever daddy’s off to work.  Daddy tickled her to make her laugh and said mommy’s crying because of mormons.  Mommy giggled and said that it’s daddy’s fault she pregnant again!  Sometimes, mommy and daddy’s talk are just weird.  

*Thinks*

I guess I get it now.  My daddy is from England.  When grandma and grandpa come to visit I see how grandpa takes care of my grandma.  I’ve never seen grandma put whipped cream on grandpa’s coffee--- So I cannot say that grandpa is whipped. I’m pretty sure though that grandma rules their home!

*Thinks harder* 

I get it!  England is ruled by the Queen.  I know this.  Daddy explained it to me.  Yeah!  That’s why at home, even though Daddy is the King, Mommy rules! *Claps* Whew!  I get it now. 

*Realizes something*

Oh, boy… Mommy and Daddy said that we will be welcoming my baby sister in two months.  Bummer!  We’re scrooge! She’s gonna rule us, too!

*Sighs, then, beams like his daddy*

But until then, teacher and classmates, I am the King of the Pattinson Household.  I got daddy's phone number on speed dial in my cellphone; just in case mommy cries again from missing daddy.  I'll demand daddy to come home if he's being away will make mommy very, very sad... I miss him already, too.  But, I have a job to do and I'll make Daddy proud.  The end!

RAGING HORMONES

LIKE ALL MY WORK, THIS IS FICTION...

OR NOT SO FICTION (I WISH?) LOL...

PICTURES TAKEN BY PAPZ...

NOT MINE!

OH, NO! AND HERE I AM USING THESE PICS!

FORGIVE ME.

BREAKING-UP IS HARD TO DO…

*FICTION*

A big fight erupted at the Casa de Stewart-Pattinson. Both were fuming and couldn’t see reason. No one wanted to apologize or admit he/she is at fault. It’s been days since they last talked and the tension could be felt from miles away.

Finally, the two came to a conclusion that something had to be done:

Rob:            “This has to stop!”

Kristen:        “You’re right.”

Rob:            “I want everything back.”

Kristen:        “Oh, I agree.”

Rob:            “I want all my T-shirts and boxers back.”

Kristen:        “Fine. You gotta give me back my thongs.”

Rob:            “Just to be clear. I’ve never worn them. I just--- um--- kept them for

the… um… for the scent!”

Kristen:        “Whatever. I want them back.  I want every pie, every cupcake,

every dish I so painstakingly prepared for you…”

Rob:            “Fine. I want the trips back.”

Kristen:        “What?”

Rob:            “Well, when I took you to London to meet my parents and friends.

The New Years at Isles of Wight… I want them all returned to

me!”

Kristen:        “Then, I want all the visits to grandma in Colorado be given back

to me as well… And, I want the strip tease performances…

Rob:            “Oh yeah?  Then, I want all lovemaking, hard fuck, soft fuck,

kinky couplings, and all foreplay back!  Pronto!”

Kristen:        “Fuck!  You’re so…soooo… selfish!  I want every kiss, every caress,

every touch be delivered back to me; just the way I gave them to

you!”

Rob:            “Fine!  Here’s my down payment!”  *grabs Kristen, puts arms

around her tightly and practically shoved his mouth on hers and

kissed her hardly, tongue included… sucking her mouth like there’s no tomorrow.”

Kristen:        *Moans*  “Do you want your hard fuck back?”

Rob:            *Groans*  “Abso-fucking-lutely!” 

                   ***The couple undressed each other quite ferociously”****

***Four hours later (wink), Rob has collected 1 hard fuck, 2 soft fucks, and 1 love-making.  Kristen has gotten back .001% of kisses, caresses, and touches.***

Rob:            *Panting*  “Be ready to surrender the kinky stuff in 15 minutes!”

Kristen:        *Raises eyebrow*  “While you’re recuperating, why don’t you

perform a strip tease.  I need them back, you know!”

Rob:            *Eyes her… then smiles.  Slowly, he tenderly ran his fingers on her

face.  “You’re so beautiful.”

Kristen:        *Sighs*  “You just have to be sappy, huh.”  *Then, a lone tear

stubbornly burst from each of her green, green eyes*

Rob:            *Leans to kiss the tears away.*  “I was wrong.”

Kristen:        *Wraps her arm around Rob’s and drops a kiss on his chest* 

“You’re only human.”  *Smiles*

Rob:            *Chuckles*  “So, it’s my fault, then?”

Kristen:        *Nods*  “Now you admit it.”

Rob:            *Holds Kristen tightly to him*  “I love you.”

Kristen:        *Looks up to Rob*  “So, you want all your stuff back?”

Rob:            *Laughs*  “Oh, I got it all back, babe!”  *Winks at Kristen*

Kristen:        *Nods*  “I got it all back, too!  So?”

Rob:            “So?”

Kristen:        “We’re never breaking-up, are we?”

Rob:            “Never!  We have plenty of… um…stuff… to return to each other if we do.”

Kristen:        “Stuff, huh?”  *laughs*

Rob:            *Laughs*  “Yes, stuff!  And speaking of stuff, I need those kinky sex stuff right about now!”

Kristen:        “I love you!”

Rob:            “I know.”  *Starts taking back those hot, kinky stuff…*

Bear:           “And that is why and how, sometime next year, we’re going to have a baby master.”

Bernie/Jella:          “Owwwww….”

Daddy and Mommy's trick & treat...

FICTION

Mommy and daddy held a Halloween party for their close friends.  I was with mommy but I’m still so tiny so she’s able to fit in this tight, leather number that drove daddy to madness... How do you know, you asked?  Well, I can hear, dummy! 

Daddy said, “You’re damn sexy.  You’re driving me crazy with want, woman!  Let me take that off.  I want to be inside you.”  Then, he growled the word: “NOW!”  It didn’t take long before I felt the quake; the vibration; the rhythmic insertion of the daddy’s tube to mommy’s gate.  It was soothing.  What I didn’t appreciate was the loud grunts and moans.  But once the final jerk and scream happened, there’s peace… Ahhhhh… So peaceful… Calm!  Yeah, I know the drill.  I live in this globe, am I not? 

Then, the most beautiful words were spoken:  “I love you.”  I felt mommy’s heart thud after daddy spoke those words and even my heart felt the impact of these words.  When mommy spoke these words to daddy, I felt my whole being become even more precious… like I could make mommy and daddy move mountains! 

So you see?  I am here because of LOVE.  Yes, LOVE!

One Strong & Determined Swimmer!

******************************************

HEY, GUYS! I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS FICTION.  PHOTOS USED AREN'T MINE.  THEY BELONG TO THEIR TALENTED CREATORS. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS EVER INTENDED.  THANK YOU FOR HUMORING ME, TEEHEE!

*******************************************

Hi.  My name is TeejeeCee.  Well, I think that’s my name because my caretaker, Auntie FATE, calls me that.  My name does sound Japanese if you asked me.  Uncle Desty --- very funny dude; Desty is short for Destiny; Auntie Fate’s younger brother --- told me that my mommy and my daddy totally and truly expressed their love for each other, without hesitation, somewhat initially  in Japan.  I don’t understand it but I don’t have any other reason why I am called that:  TeeJeeCee.  Weird.  Say it fast 3 times and you would think you’re talking in Japanese/Nipongo.  Auntie FATE, though, simply said that I am special; and very precious and that’s what TeeJeeCee means.

You must be wondering how I got here.  Miss Kismet, the young lady who’s preparing The Stork who will fly me home, said that I was the best swimmer amongst so many of us.  I remember it clearly that day.  Me and gazillion others were pretty much chillin’ and then it started to quake.  We got so excited.  For some reason we’ve always known that there is this beautiful GLOBE where we’re allowed to grow and be granted life; and the only way to get to that globe is by swimming through THE TUNNEL; then jumping really high and fast towards the globe.  So many quakes came and gone and, before me, none managed to jump fast and strong enough towards this magical place and POOF! So many got wasted.  Some got sucked into the wrong passage way; into the wrong globe.  This globe has an exit door that leads to this white ceramic chair with a flush… And that’s according to Mother Nature.  I met her already.  She said that others got splattered onto luminous skin.  I’ve learned a lot from her, actually. She added that there were actually a few who somehow got trapped into this elastic and elongated tube-thingee. 

Let me be clear:  The quake is the key and there had been plenty of quakes; sometimes 3 times in a row with half an hour interval, sometimes less.  The quake is always caused by colliding with holder of this Life-Giving-Globe.  When it quakes, you know that the tube has inserted into the owner of the globe… then you feel the jerk, and then you just find yourself swimming… swimming out of the tube or the passage way into this opening, like a gate, towards the globe…  And that’s when so many swimmers fail. 

Until me!

Miss Kismet said I’m strong.  I guess I am.  Before I was called TeeJeeCee, I was called Y.  Simply Y.  I was one of the many Ys in our lake.  But I recall with clarity that on that day, the quake was so intense it practically washed me towards the tube… We swam and swam… I just kept swimming.  I saw an opening and I called out to the others to follow me but just couldn’t swim the way I could.  With determination and this feeling of love bursting inside me, I pushed myself into this globe and I got through!  Ha!  I got through!  And I was welcomed with a bang!  Xs!  Finally!  I was thrilled.  These Xs are awesome!!! And the feeling was glorious.   I felt myself got stronger.  I felt… alive!  I was given life!  And I waited… happily to be known.  Then, as days go by, I realized I’ve always been taken cared of.  I have Auntie Fate, Uncle Desty, Miss Kismet and Mother Nature!  It was amazing.

Auntie Fate has been guiding me throughout the process and helped me grow.  The globe was a world of wonder and love.  I feel so many things.  I have so many questions but thankfully, my caretaker helps me understand.

The day I was discovered was a joyous day.  I felt as though the love multiplied gazillion times. 

And soon I will meet my mommy and my daddy face to face.  The Stork isn’t ready yet so I have to stay in the globe until it’s ready to take me to my mommy and daddy. 

I hope my parents will not keep TeeJeeCee as my name.  I have a feeling they don't like this name.  It’s just weird.  I should be called Lucas!  Or Christopher!  Or Junior!  Yeah!  Junior!  I'm a Y after all and I need a strong name.  Yes?

  

Well, I have a long way to go.  I need to get bigger.  I need to be healthy.  I kinda like In and Out burger and hot Cheetos but ever since I was discovered, mommy has been taking more veggies and fruit.  *Sigh*  Daddy is watching her like a Hawk… According to Uncle Desty!  Daddy likes In and Out burger but mommy said that if she can't have it; then he can't have it. PERIOD!  Auntie Fate agrees with the healthy stuff!  It’s for my own good, I know.  

Oh, by the way, it still quakes… It’s more often now than ever before.  The quakes are much bigger and louder and more constant!  Miss Kismet said it’s my fault that Mommy likes to produce quakes all the time.  I don’t get it.  Thankfully, per Uncle Desty, my daddy enjoys producing these constant big and loud quakes with mommy…  Auntie Fate said the quakes make them happy.  The quakes don’t bother me.  I am secured now and soooo, soooo loved!

So, the next time I talk to you, I’d be bigger and stronger and I may have more stuff to tell you. I can't wait to meet my daddy and my mommy.  Auntie Fate said my parents rock!  

Right now, I have to go because we have an after-shock!!! 

Until then…

TeeJeeCee

Riddle me this... Riddle me that...

**********YOU KNOW IT! FICTION**********

Jella:        *Whiskers twitching; on full-mode concentration*

Bear:       *Tapping his paws against the wooden floor*

Bernie:     *Surfing the net*

Bear:       “So?”

Jella:       “It’s bad… really bad…”

Bear:       *Howls*  “Noooo…”

Bernie:     “Same here… I couldn’t find it.”

Bear:       *Turns to Bernie*  “Do you have your list?”

Bernie:     “I do.  I googled it but nothing!”

Bear:       “No result?”

Bernie:     “No!”  *Types again*  “See?”  *Turns the laptop towards Bear and Jella*

Jella:       *Puts eyeglasses on* “Um, did you spell the name correctly?”

Bernie:     “Yes!  F-U-C-K-E-R!  Look!”  *Shows the list*  “Annie Fucker!”

Bear:       “Um, I think that’s a P, then an A!”

Jella:        “No, I think Bernie got it right.  Annie Fucker!  It sounds right to me!”

Bear:       “I think you’re right.  So, no sex tape?”

Bernie:     *Shakes head*  “I give up.”  *Thinks*  “What is sex tape anyway?”

Jella:       *Sniggers*  “It's like yoga, I think.”

Bear:       *Thinks*  “Do you think Mom and Dad have one?  Sex tape, I mean?”

Jella:       *Licks paws*  “Can you record skype?  They do yoga a lot!”

Bernie:     *Lights up*  “That’s a good question!  I’ll research on that!”

Bear:       *Turns to Jella*  “How about you?  You said it’s bad!  I don’t like it!  I don’t’ like bad.”

Bernie:     “What is it that you’re doing anyway?  Are you playing poker!”

Jella:       *Gasps*  “No!  Don’t say that!  Don’t you dare question the divinity of these cards.”

Bear:       *Furrows brows*  “Di-divinity?”

Jella:       *Nods*  “These are called Parrot Cards!  These are divine.  They tell the future.”

Bear:      *Shakes head*  “Oh.  You did that last year.”

Jella:       *Nods*  “That’s right!  July last year, I did a lot of reading with this deck of Parrot Cards!”

Bear:      *Laughs*  “You said they’re bullcrap!”

Jella:       “I did not say that!”  *Looks away*

Bear:      “Well, last year… I think it was 3rd week of July, you said that Mom’s pregnant and will give birth come Spring.  That didn't happen.  So you changed you statement and said that Mom and Dad are over.  They never were.  Again, you said Dad moving on with another woman..."  *Laughs*  "Um, we live in one house, you know.  How do you even come up with these stuff?"  *Shakes head*  "You can't say things as if they were true... And it's about Mom and Dad, for cripe's sake!"

Jella:       *Shrugs*  "It was for fun.  I mean, why not play the game of those fuckers who are capitalizing writing bullshit stories and so-called-fans who spreads hella lotsa lies!"  *Exhales*  "And besides... Last year and last month, I had problems!!!"

Bear:      “Seriously?!?"

Jella:       *Nods*  "Yeah!!! I mean, I was not at my right state or mind or mode... however you call it.  My emotions conflicted with my cards' "divinity" and what not--- so I was reading the messages incorrectly."

Bear:      “Wow!  For all your readings to be wrong, you must have had huuuuuuuge problem!"  *Pats Jella's back*

Jella:       *Sighs*  "Well, if you should know, I didn't know whether I still have 9 lives or 5!"  *Scowls*  "Remember that time when mom and dad were having this yoga exercise in nude against the wall... you know... when dad had to carry mom and mom had to wrap her legs around dad's waist?"

Bear and Bernie:  *Nods*  "Yeah...."

Jella:       "Well, remember they were doing it harder than their usual... I was on top of the bookshelf; and because of the movement mom and dad are generating, the book shelf shook and I fell... That's counted as one!  ONE!  YOU HEAR!  ONE LIFE DEDUCTED FROM MY NINE!!!"

Bear:      "Oh, get over yourself.  You're fine!  I think your problem is, you follow shitty people on Twitter and you read Laimey's blog and trash-toids, X17, and such... You follow the ninies, the haters..."

Jella:       "That's how I gather my information!"

Bernie:   "But you know they don't have a clue whatsoever!  And then you have DMs, negative ones, mind you... And you read all these crap before doing your Parrot Cards!  So, your aura or whatever is influenced and you don't get the message right!"

Jella:       "Yeah... I guess you're right.  But it's funny how these people readily believe! I mean, come on!  I could charge them gazillion dollars and they'd pay me without batting an eyelash!"  *guffaws*  "But I will never, ever, divulge information about Mom and Dad via Twitter, IG, FB..."

Bernie:    "So you said, "it's bad," earlier..."

Jella:       "The fuckers are hording pictures!  They're not putting the right photos up online!  I mean, there are hundreds of photos taken... and instead, they put something out there where they questions who it was with whom... and then made up a story that dad is dating another woman... Mom's friend, no less... And then this got picked up and now after their attempt to link daddy with Katy Perry, they've moved on with another... one of mom's friends!"

Bear:      "That's how they make money!  They cultivate peoples' interest by not presenting the clear an dright evidence. So, someone will say, "Oh, that's Kristen!" and then one would say, "Oh, no, that's not her..." and before you know it... voila!  They have succeeded.  So, they move on with writing something which they know is incorrect... and I'm putting that mildly... and it' going to stay that way for a while... then when that's old news because there's no more lead... another picture will be released, a clear one this time... to support their story that there was indeed a reconciliation!"

Bernie:     "Correct me if I'm wrong... I know I'm an animal, I'm not a human being gifted with the ability to think and who's supposed to possess compassion and such... But don't you have to have broken up to reconcile?  I don't get it!  This so-called human nature is kinda scary!"

Bear:      "Remember how these fuckers thought that CJ was mom's new man while dad was in Aussie?"

*Laughter filled the room... that sounded like woof-woof and meow...meow*

Jella:       "They have no clue!"  *guffaws*

Bernie:    "And mom wears dad's ring!"

Jella:       *Shhhhhhhh!!!!!"

Bernie:     "Don't sush me!  It's right there for everyone to see!!!  They just chose not to see it!!!  I saw mom's pic you know.  She's so cool, walking with with the ever-famous HBG... wearing her poker face... but there's a sense of peace in her... almost SMUG!"

Jella:        *Smiles*  "Yeah...."

Bear:        *Chuckles*  "And then... ka-boom!!!  Every one will be like, "What?" or "Ha?" or... "Wow," for those who have been waiting for it."

Bernie:        *Did dad call yet?"

Jella:        "He's fine!"  *smirks*  "But he will be better... Mom makes him happy."

Bear:        "Hence the ring!"

Bernie:       "Hence the ring, indeed!"

Jella:          *Shuffles cards*  "Let's see when...."

Bernie:       *Rolls eyes*

Bear:        *Yawns*

Jella:        *Mumbles to self*  "A boy... please.... please... please...."

Reconnecting...

****fiction....fiction....fition....fiction.....fiction*****

****************************************************************

click...click...click...tap---

scrolling down...down... up...up...

tap...tap..tap... scrolling down... up....

click...click...click...

Bear:   "Come on, Jella... Tell us!"

Bernie: "I gotta say, you're a fast typist!"

Jella: "Hush you, two.  I'm reading here."

Bear:   "So?  What did the "fortune teller" tweet about?"

Jella: *sighs*  "Said mom and dad are over and people need to move on... and dad is with that singer who sang Peacock... and doesn't like dad."

Bernie: *chokes*  "What?!? No one hates dad!"

Bear:  *rolls eyes*  "So, how did she get all that information?"

Jella: *serious face*  "She probably has a Magic 8 Ball."

Bernie: "Uncle CJ has one and it says Mom and Dad are getting engaged within 2 months; getting married within 8 months before the baby's born."

Bear:        "I don't get it.  How can daddy be with peacock girl when he's totally into mommy?

Jella: "They don't know that.  They chose to believe a version of dad who doesn't love mom."

Bernie: *guffaws*  "Right!"

Bear:   *contemplates*  "Wait...Do we call Uncle CJ uncle or auntie?"

Jella: *thinks seriously* "Well, that's a good question, Bear."

Bernie: *thinks deeply, too*  "Well if Uncle CJ is Auntie; so what should I call Alana?"

Jella: "Hello? We're supposed to be researching here!"

Bear:  "Sorry, Jella.  My bad.  So, what about the Krisbians and Robsessed?"

Bernie: *double fp*  "Even I know they don't want mom and dad to be together!"

Bear:  "I don't understand the hate."

Jella: "Oh, I do.  Completely."

Bernie: "And how about the so-called writers and bloggers?"

click...click...click...tap---

Jella: "They have sources."

Bernie: "Bear, are you talking to them again?"

Bear:  *blushes*  "Well, I was trying to correct their errors so I barked and barked but they got it all wrong."

Jella: "I told you they'd rather write what people want to read so their story will sell."

Bear:  "Who do you think their sources are?"

Jella: "I heard daddy told mommy that they probably talk to their imaginary friends."  *ponders*  "Maybe we should write are own blog."

Bernie: *Laughs*  "You know damn well, Jella, that the ninnies and the crazies will do anything and everything to bring us down."  

Bear:  "I heard Uncle CJ said..."  *halts*  "Uncle or auntie?"

Bernie: "Yeah, Jella? Uncle or Auntie?  Because he is made like dad but acts like mom?"

Jella: "Just call him CJ, jeez!"

Bear: "Well, CJ wants to shoot them all with his neon water gun."

Jella: *shudders*  "Oh, I hate those. That's a great idea!  Go get mommy's credit card and let's order lotsa water gun!"

Bear: "I'm on it!!!"

Bernie: "I'll help!  I'll get dad's"

***five minutes later***

Jella: "Well?"

Bear:  "I didn't get it."

Bernie: *shakes head*  "Nah. I didn't get dad's either." 

Jella: "What? "Why the hell not?"

Bear:  "Daddy is busy with mom."

Jella: "Oh, they're talking.  Yeah.  They're doing that a lot lately.  Reconnecting's the word for it."

Bernie:      "I get that.  They're really connected, Jella."

Bear:         "And I don't know how they understand each other, though."

Jella: "What do you mean?"

Bear:         "Well, dad said, "Unggggg..." and mom responded, "Ahhhhhhh."

Bernie: "Then, dad disconnected; then reconnected."

Bear:         "And dad said, "Oooohhh...." and mom said, "Mmmmmm...."

Bernie:      "Is that Brittish talk?  Like another langauge?  Dad's British after all"

Bear: "Probably."

Jella: *closes laptop*  "Well, kids, our work here is done!"

Bernie: "No! How about our research."

Bear: "We're supposed to be helping!"

Jella: "Nah. Mom & Dad know what they're doing.  You'll see. This, too shall pass."

Bear: "But how about the false reports and the hate and the lies..."

Jella: "NO WORRIES, KIDDOS.  IT's ALL GOOD!!!"