DIARY OF A DELUSIONAL NONSTEN (Mayday! Mayday!)

(You know it! This is fiction... Hahaha!!! If you have the same entry in your diary... Well, what can I say... it's not my intenton to copy yours... So..."No copyright infringement intended!"  Please seek immediate assistance!)

JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR HERE... LOL...

I AM AN EFFING CERTIFIED ROBSTEN ADDICT/BELIEVER... FOR LIFE!!!

Dear Diary,

He’s a liar!  One, fucking, scumbag, good-for-nothing son of a bitch!

Oh, oh, oh…Sorry… Sorry… I didn’t mean that!  Sweetpea, I didn’t meant that!  Rob, my dearest one, you know I love you…. 

Diary, please tell the love of my life that I’m just frustrated…  He hurt me…. But I am so willing to forgive him!  In fact, I’ve already forgiven him.  Love is patient and kind… and my love for him is nothing but patient and kind!

I love MY Rob… So, so much!  He is the sun and I, his planet, revolve around him, worshipping his every area… There’s no night for us… Because our love glows twenty-four-fucking-seven!

I have to accept, though, that MY Robert Pattinson has cheated on me.  Yet, again!  With that… that…. Ugh…. That fucking Bella-bitch-face-girl! 

But he didn’t mean to hurt me.  I know that, dear diary.  When I look at him, he looks back at, sending me the love he could not, at the moment, give me in person.  See, he’s under contract with Summit.  If he comes to me now and this information leaks out, the media and the papz will be after me… And my Rob… My precious Rob, being the protective lover that he is, just wants to protect me.  Which is why, for now, I have his photos and posters surrounding me in my room… A small altar is placed on my bedside table so that I could, at least, release this unexpressed love I have for him.  I could talk to him through the altar… I could express the undying love I have for him! 

When I call upon him at night… he speaks to me… We have this connection, dear diary… I’m positive it’s what scientists call “mental telepathy!”

To say that I’ll do anything for him is an understatement.  I mean… If he wants me to look like her, then by all means, I’ll do it for him.  He just needs to be patient… and kind… Just like I am to him.  I need to save money to have a fucking plastic surgery done on me; except he has to wait for little bit because I’m still paying for my meds! You know… my co-pay has gone up!  Clozapine is quite an expensive drug and I couldn’t get that over the counter; which means, I have to continue seeing my Psychiatrist, Dr. Kray Zetu, you know, I could get prescription for it; plus, I am now seeing him three times a week.   

My Rob has to realize that I’m doing all these for him!  I want to be better for him!  I want to be better than that… that fucking bitch… that bitch, Kristen Stewart!!!  There!!! I said it!  Whoa!  Hahaha… What a release that was!  I’m feeling so much better already.

What did he see in her, anyway, dear diary?  The bitch has to work to earn a living.  She cannot take good care of my lover, Rob,  the way that I can!  Kristen-Fucking-Stewart works! I don’t!  I don’t have to.  I get a check every month in the mail.  I don’t need to work.  With the check I’m getting, I’m sure I’ll be able to support Rob.  We just need to tighten our belt a little bit.  He has to forego his trip to the bar with his beastie, Tom; then we’ll be alright.  But I know… once we’re together, he’ll see the light and he’ll do anything for me.

My poor darling, Rob.... I saw the boo-boo on his forefinger... The Bitch must have bitten him when he refused to touch her or to kiss her!  What a needy bitch, that girl!  My Rob only wants me... So, when he's finally here, I'll show him tenderness... Oh, I miss him... I love him...

I know that his so called “date” with the Bitch on October 2 in SoHo; where it was reported that he was cuddling her, was just PR!  The Bitch has a movie coming out and since it was she who practically picked him to play Edward Cullen in Twilight, he felt obligated to support her.  My sweetpea, Rob, is now a much bigger star than the Bitch!  She fucking needs him to resuscitate her fucking career!

Then, on October 4, my Rob has taken the Bitch, again, to Ago for dinner.  See, it’s supposed to be me!  I’m supposed to be that girl who got caught with him by the paparazzi! 

Fuck!  That Bitch is ruining my life! 

Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!  Aaaaaaaaaaaaa…… Fuck you, Bitch… Aaaaaaaaa…. Damn! Damn! Damn!

I’m breathing… I’m breathing…. I can do this…. Breathe… Breathe…

Hold on, dear diary, it’s time for my meds!!!

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER…

I’m fine, dear diary.  I am hugging my Edward pillow and I am enveloped with love from my waist down with my Edward blanket.  I am smiling because my Rob was staring at me… smiling at me…. Hmmm… I love that new photo of him that just came out… My Rob’s really handsome and yummy! 

Going back to what I’m writing earlier… Oh, yeah… The Bitch…

On October 5, I received a signal from my Rob asking me to watch a Jenny & Johny concert at Troubadour… But again, I was too late!  Her Royal Bitchness STOLE my Rob again…  And she sang to him with MY voice as they watched the concert… But I’m not upset, dear diary.  I have a theory.  My Rob is devoted to me, I know that.  He’s just the decoy.  I am 101% sure that it’s really the Bitch and TomStu who are dating!  My Rob, being a supportive friend and colleague, agreed to pretend that he’s the one dating her!  Look, On October 8, at the Thompson Hotel, once again, my Rob and the Bitch were out and about, sipping cocktail and what not… But…. Here’s the real deal… The Bitch’s real boyfriend, TomStu, was with them, too!  See!  I know!  Ha! I have to share this development with Dr. Cray Zetu!  He’ll be so proud of me.

My Rob just winked at me… The third photo on the left…. *giggle*

Hold on dear diary… Let me surf the net and look for news about my Rob…

Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What the fuck????  What is my Rob doing holding the Bitch’s hand in the cab!  That’s supposed to be my hand he’s holding!!!  And what?!?!  They’ve gone out to dinner again?  That’s my dinner!  That’s my sushi!  Those are my chopsticks!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Nooooo!!!!

W-Wait… Hahaha!!!!!  Tom is with them again!  I knew it!!!  Hahaha!!!  Boo-yah!!! The Bitch’s boyfriend, Tom, was there, too!!!  My Rob holding the Bitch’s hand was just for show… it’s not intimate… it’s just pretend!!! 

IT’S PR!!!!

I feel sorry for those Robsten believers, dear diary.  They are delusional, hallucinating… crazy whores... Believing that my Rob is in love with that girl, Kristen Stewart.  They are blinded by their beliefs; fooled by the media!!! 

In fact, according to my favorite magazine, FAMOUS Mag (my bible, really); My Rob had taken the Bitch to Ago to break up with her; that's why she looked deflated when they left the restaurant!  I believe it!  With all my heart!  Famous Mag has insiders; that magazine has credible sources!  They're genius.  They get their informaton from those who are close to my Rob and the Bitch.  Famous knew all along that TomStu and the Bitch are the real couple; but out of resepect for my Rob, they're just reporting what's on the surface, really. 

I wish I could all talk to them, these so called RobSten fans, so that I could give them my psychiatrist’s, Dr. Kray Zetu, phone number and address.  He can show them the light!!!

I could only shake my head, dear diary… Tsk.. Tsk.. Tsk… So sorry… Robsteners!  My heart goes out to them all!

Yours truly,

Rob’s Real Girl

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