As I sit here watching my Kristen move around the kitchen, my heart warms up, spreading so much love in my veins. I love my baby so much that the thought of not being with her makes me want to not to live anymore.
Nope! I’m not being Edward Cullen dramatic here! I’m just stating what’s true in my heart. Call me whatever you want, I don’t care. Cowed. Whipped. Collared. Whatever! Like I give a shit! My baby is my one true love… my lifeline… the only woman with whom I’m going to spend the rest of my life with… to have children with… to build a family with… to grow old with!
The hardest part is when work takes us away from each other. Distance is like a dagger stabbing you in the chest multiple times. Much as I am grateful for technology, I am most grateful and thankful for the commitment we have on our relationship. With that commitment carries the love, faith, trust, honesty and patience. It somehow helps endure the misery of being away. Of course notorious tabloid stories don’t go unnoticed. Some are vile, straight-up fiction, with malicious intent. However, my Kristen and I are at a place where trust is not easily broken. One phone call bridges the distance. But every memory of her, every beat of my heart loving her, erases every fucking second that I am not with her.
I’m not saying we’re perfect, dear diary. Far from it, actually. But you see, we use our imperfections to further cultivate what we have. We learn from our mistakes. It helps us understand who we are and how much we truly mean to each other. Growing up is no fun sometimes because it teaches you accountability; except, with Kristen, it’s something I do effortlessly.
There is nothing I will not do for her.
Okay, fine… that’s over stating it bit, I guess. I mean it though. I will do anything for her. Is it wrong that I also intend to protect her? As her other half, it is my obligation to make sure that…
Rob’s Conscience: “Mm-hmm…”
Rob: “What? Go away… let me finish writing here.”
To make sure that she’s safe and…
Rob’s Conscience: “… and yours!”
Rob: “She’s only twenty! I need to take care of her!”
Rob’s Conscience: “You're saying then that once she turns twenty-one, you won't feel the urge to protect her anymore?"
Rob: "NO!!! That's now what I'm saying. I will never stop protecting her. She's THAT important to me!"
Rob's Conscience: "So, you were just protecting her when you thought that insisting to have her double for “ON THE ROAD” do all the, um, delicate scenes was for her own good… and not yours?”
Rob: “Of course!”
Rob’s Conscience: “And it’s okay that you pursued her when she was only seventeen and you’re already a fully fledged, 21-year-old-adult?”
Rob: “That’s fuckin’ different!”
Rob’s Conscience: “How so?”
Rob: “Well… I, uh… I was also seventeen, just like her, in the movie we were making!... Umm... That makes it acceptable!”
Rob’s Conscience: “Ahhhhh…”
Rob: “Oh, fuck off conscience! No one… and I mean no one… has the right to touch my angel other than me! I fucking loved her from the very moment I saw her in that movie, Into the Wild, and…”
Rob’s Conscience: “Oh, don’t get so defensive Mr. I’m-Also-Seventeen-Just-Like-Her-In-The-Movie-We-Were-Making! I’m just pointing out to you some flaws in your logic.”
Rob: “Flaws? What flaws? I went to visit her in
Montreal and because it’s where I wanted to be. With her! I love her and I don’t like being away from her. So if her movie takes her to New Orleans or to fucking Mars, I’ll follow her just to be with her…” Timbuktu
Rob’s Conscience: “And make sure that the male actors, and every freakin’ male in 100-mile-radius know that she’s yours!”
Rob: “YES!!!!!!!!!!!... I mean… No!”
Rob’s Conscience: “No?”
Rob: “Damn you, Conscience!”
Rob’s Conscience: “It’s okay, Rob. You do it out of love.”
Rob: “Now you understand!”
Rob’s Conscience: “And Kristen adores you for it.”
Rob: “Hell, yeah! My baby loves me for who and what I am!”
Rob’s Conscience: “And do you think she also feels somewhat the same; like, protective of you when you do a movie where you have intimate scenes with your co-star?”
Rob’s Conscience: “Ahhh… I thought so!”
Rob: “Fuck! I don’t want to lose her! I don’t want her to think that I’m being unfair!”
Rob’s Conscience: “It doesn’t make her happy but she knows it’s work! She trusts you.”
Rob: “What the hell? I trust her, too, with every fiber of my being. I’m just…”
Rob’s Conscience: “You’re just… You’re just you, Rob. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Rob: “Are you telling me that I should just let her be?”
Rob’s Conscience: “No, my dear me. I’m saying, stop justifying why you do what you do. As you’ve said, you are who you are and Kristen loves you just the way you are. Don’t feel guilty for being protective… or jealous if I may be so blunt. You do so because you love her that much. And she does it, too… Only, she expresses it in some other ways.”
Rob: “Hmm… So is it okay if I punch the guys who kissed her in her movies… Especially that guy whose name rhymes with that spice or herb?”
Rob’s Conscience: “Rob? Listen… I am your conscience… I’m not your fucking therapist!”
Rob: “Fine! Go away then and let me finish writing in my diary!”
Rob’s Conscience: “If you say so….”
As I was saying, dear diary… Shit! Where was I? Damn… Hold on dear diary… Mr. Conscience fucked me up here… Let me go kiss my baby and I’ll be back… --- Rob.
Rob: *Wraps his arms around Kristen and kissed her passionately*
Kristen: “Hey, babe, what’s that for? Are you okay?”
Rob: “Should we just quit acting, babe and do other things… like, writing, maybe… or concentrate on music… I don’t know…”
Kristen: “Have you been talking to your conscience again?”
Rob: *Wide eyes* “N-No! How…”
Kristen: “Babe, I know you…” *Shakes head & giggles* “And Besides, you shifted from typing in your lappy to scowling at it!”
Rob: “You saw that? It’s just that…”
Kristen: *Kissing Rob on the lips* “It’s just that I love you and you love me and… Period.”
Rob: *Smiling* “We’re not quitting.”
Rob: “But you’ll quit once you get pregnant.”
Kristen: “Rob…” *Sighs* “… Yes. Now go back and finish whatever it is you’re writing
Rob goes back to writing his diary with a smile on his face.
I’m back, dear diary!!!
As I was saying… the point I was trying to make since I started writing my first sentence... and even before Mr. Conscience started messing up with me is.... I’M GETTING MY LOVELY KRISTEN PREGNANT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!
There! I said it! Jeez! And, by the way, I'm on it!
The man on a mission,