Saturday, October 2, 2010


Dear Diary,

I am a snub and I have every right to be. 

I am an expensive, luxurious, well-made, built for comfort, VI-Spring mattress.  The materials used for constructing me include pure cotton, lambswool, long-stranded horsehair and mohair which all combine to give the ultimate luxury to my owners… In my case, to my Master and Mistress.  Having known them for a while now, I can now say with pride that I do, indeed, provide the best sleep and, yes, leisure, for my Master Rob and Mistress Kristen.

There’s a reason why I am here today, pouring my emotions and thoughts onto you, dear diary.  I now understand the emotions that come when you live with a couple who considers each other their reason for being… their one and only… their everything… their sex god/goddess … their baby… and so on and so forth.  (Yeah, I hear these words when my Master & Mistress are at the peak of passion or when they simply lie on me snuggling, talking about nothing and everything.)

I thank my creator for making me durable.  Oh no, don’t get me wrong.  I am not complaining.  Far from it, actually.  You see, my Master and Mistress have jobs that take them away from home on many occasions.  I consider these occasions my vacation.   

They cloth me with 1500 thread count 100% long staple Egyptian Giza cotton, Italian made linens when they go away.  I look as desirable as Master Rob and Mistress Kristen.

When they’re home, though…Umm, let’s just say, that’s another story.  I think I need 800mg. Ibuprofen (I’ll take it if I could!).  I have a core-ache (that's equal to human’s back ache). 

Let me write about the recent events and just forget previous ones; that will take me years to finish this entry if I do so…

Master Rob came home from a long, daunting shoot far away from home. They were apart for many days and so many nights.  To say that they were over enthusiastic about their reunion is an understatement.  Thank goodness they’re young and energetic and they, ah, express their enthusiasm on surfaces other than my own. 

I worry about them, though.  They could go on and on… exerting so much amount of energy onto each other… grabbing and twisting… pulling and pushing… shoving and  jolting… screaming and hushing… sucking and blowing… foreplay and post play… Got my drift?  So, yeah… All that with minimum nourishment. 

Just moments ago, Master Rob and Mistress Kristen extended their, uhh, love fest on me and at the throes of passion, they managed to push my sheet off of me.  Their hands and legs were quite restless. 

This is embarrassing but let me write down what happened anyway:

So… Master Rob was, um, giving Mistress Kristen some hip action… thrusting in and out of her… Then, I heard… Well, let me just share with you how the conversation went during the… incident:

Master Rob:  “Baby, I’m close!”

Mistress Kristen:  “Ahhh, baby… Shit!  You’re not wearing a condom.”

Master Rob:  *Still in full-force, hip-whipping action*  “B-Babe, you’re on the pill!”

Mistress Kristen:  “I fucking was, Rob!  We haven’t been detached in days!”

Master Rob:  *Continues the deed*  “Damn!  Don’t worry, Baby.  I got you.”

Then, a few minutes later, I heard that familiar sound of release… of satisfaction… of passion and love well spent… AND I FUCKING ALSO FELT SQUIRTS OF WARM LIQUID ON ME!!!


AND MY MISTRESS FUCKING GIGGLED.  “Oh, Rob! You naughty, fucker! I have some of your spurts on my tummy!”

Tummy?!  Really, Mistress Kristen?!  I have most of your man’s sticky cum-shots all over me!  You’d think nothing’s left from that man after all his activities with his woman.  Yes!  I am still pissed on both of them that I refuse to call them MY Master and MY Mistress at the moment! 

They’ve fucking stained me!  Again! 

I’ve forgiven them on many occasions because they cloth me with beautiful, expensive, name-brand-sheets.  I’m sure that when they’re ready to leave the room and the house, SHE will put on me freshly washed… or even new… expensive beddings.  I will forgive them then.

Okay, going back to my story…

I think, the Mistress (fine!  I’ll call her that!) thought that it’s sexy to… Yeah, it’s better if I share with you’re their conversation, verbatim:

The Mistress:  “Baby!” *giggles*  “Your juice is on me.”

The Master: *Still breathing hard but eyes now glossy*  “Wacha gonna do about it?”

The Mistress smiled evilly at the Master, raised her body up… scraped the Master’s cum from her tummy with her fore finger and middle finger… lifted her hand and dipped the two mentioned fingers into her mouth and sucked them slowly and provocatively. 


The Mistress:  "Mmm... Yummy! You're delicious, Baby!  You gotta taste..." 

Then, the Mistress tongued the Masters Lips ever so gently... then flashed him her signature come-get-me smile, before slamming her mouth on his. 

The Master grumbled some incomprehensible words; hauled a deep breath; then released a long, guttural moan.

The Master:  “Fuck, Baby!  I’m ready for another round.”

That’s how that set of rounds began… *sigh*

I heard the doorbell and their phones rang, including the house phone… But The Master and the Mistress didn’t bother to get it.  Nope!  Their family, friends, and people from work are now used to them by now.  Even I am used to their ways. 

I just hope I won’t be squeaking soon.  My core, as I’ve mentioned is beat.  Again, I’m thankful for my maker for making sure I’m sturdy and strong.  With Master Rob and Mistress Kristen as owners… You gotta be!

If, nine months from now, a Baby Master or Baby Mistress will be born, that’ s because… Well, we all know withdrawal isn’t the best protection… Is it even considered protection?

Hahahahahahaha… Now my mood is better.

Well, I gotta go.  The Master is awake… I can see his hand automatically roaming around the Mistress robust butt… We all know how crazy he is over that butt…

Jeez!  It's fucking ON!!!  AGAIN!!!

Yours very truly,
Master Rob's and Mistress Kristen's Mattress
(The Mattress That Can Be Sold on Ebay for a Rediculous Amount... for Real)


  1. I'm dead, it's hilarious!

  2. My God, this is a masterpiece!!~

  3. My kind of ceremony.... Love the post Ofie.