YUP! UNCLE TOM IS IN TROUBLE!!!

YEAR:  2016

Rob, Jr.:  “Daddy, what is voodoo?”

Rob:  *Astonished*  “OH! Ah…Well... Um...Hold on, son, I’m…” *grabs phone* “I’m, uh, calling the… ah… the ticketing agent… for… Disneyland!!!”

Rob, Jr.:  *Wide Eyes*  “Disneyland?!?! Yey!!!”  *Runs to Kristen*  “Mommy! Mommy!  We’re going to Disneyland!!!”

Kristen:  “What’s that, sweetie?” *Throws a knowing look at Rob*

Rob, Jr.:  “Daddy is taking us to Disney!!!”

Kristen:  “Oh, really?”  *Raises eyebrow, then, holds Rob, Jr.’s hand and both walk toward Rob*

Rob:  “Oh, ah…” *Clears throat* “Our son told you the good news, I see.”

Kristen: *Narrows eyes* “Yeah.  And I bet his baby brother will have fun with us when we go!”

Rob, Jr.:  *Groans* “Owww…. But, Mom?!?  My baby brother is STILL in your tummy!”

Kristen:  *Smiles*  “And he will love you for waiting for him, sweetie.  You’re the best big brother!!!”

Rob, Jr.:  *Stomps feet* “Noooo!!! I want to go now!!!”

Rob: *Begs Kristen with his eyes* “I’ll go with him!”

Kristen: “Mm-Hmm… And who, may I ask, Mr. Father-Of-My-Children, will take me to the hospital in case Rob-Number-Two here decides to come out today, huh?”

Rob:  *Takes a deep breath*  “Mommy is right, son.  I guess we should wait until...”

Rob, Jr.:  “NO!!! Mom, please… Can Daddy and I go?”

Kristen:  *Sighs*  “Sweetie, your baby brother is due anytime now.”

Rob, Jr.:  “WELL!!! TELL HIM TO WAIT, JEEZ!!!  IT'S ONLY A DAY!!!” *Pouts*

Rob:  *Chuckles*  “You think your mom can take him, Babe?”

Kristen:  *Squints eyes*  “So, what made you decide to take our son to Disney today anyway?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Oh, it’s the voodoo, Mommy!”

Rob:  “NO!”

Kristen:  “W-What?” *Shakes head*

Rob, Jr.:  “Yes, too!" *Serious expression on his face*  Remember, Daddy?  I was asking you about voodoo but you said you’re calling the ticket, ummm… ticket person… for Disney…  So, Mommy... what is voodoo?”

Kristen:  “UM… I’LL CALL MOM!  RIGHT AWAY!”

Rob, Jr.:  “No, Mommy!  I want to go with you and Daddy!!!!”

Kristen:  “Sweetie, I can’t. You know that.  I'm too pregnant...”

Rob:  “Your Grandma will be happy to take you, son.”

Rob, Jr.:  “Can you come with us, then, Daddy?  Pleaseeeeee?” *Crinkles face*

Kristen:  “Honey, listen… Mommy needs Daddy here.  Who will take care of me if I need to go to the hospital?”

Rob, Jr.:  *Sniffles*  “Okay, I guess.”

Kristen:  “I’m calling mom.”

Rob:  “You’ll have fun with Grandma, Son.  You gotta take your medicine, though, so that your allergies won’t bug you, okay?”

Kristen:  *Hangs up the phone*  “Grandma will be here in half an hour.  Daddy will help you get ready.  Let me get your allergy medicine.”

Rob, Jr.: “Mom, Dad?”

Kristen & Rob:  “Yes, son?”

Rob, Jr.:  “What is va--- va—vaj… vagina?”

Kristen:  “What?”

Rob:  “L-Let’s get you ready, Son!”

Rob, Jr.:  “Wait, Dad! Mommy wants to know….”

Kristen:  “That’s alright, honey.  Go get ready!”

Rob, Jr.:  “No.  I’ll tell you, Mommy, so you can go to pharmacy and get daddy his medicine.”

Kristen:  “What do you mean?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Well, I asked Uncle Tom why I have allergies and he said it’s probably because of the pollen or season… or something like that… or maybe I got it from you or Daddy…” *Taps forefinger on his cute chin*  “Then, Uncle Tom said that we can find out in the Internet… So, we typed in Kristen Stewart-Pattinson’s allergies and nothing came out… Then we typed in Robert Pattinson’s allergies… and we found out that Daddy did have allergies.  The Internet said that Daddy’s allergic to that thing… that...vaj--- vagina!”  

Kristen: *Holding her laughter*  “Oh!”

Rob, Jr.:  “So, Mommy, what’s vagina?  Is that the same as my allergies?  Am I allergic to that thing, too?  Ha, Mommy?  Ha?

Rob:  *Look of disbelief on his face*  “Your Grandma will be here soon, Son… Come on!”

Kristen:  “Yup!  Go take care of your son, Babe.  I’m calling Tom!!!”

Rob:  “No, Babe!  Allow me!!!”

Rob, Jr.:  “Don’t forget to buy daddy’s medicine, Mommy!”

Rob:  “Son, MOMMY HAS ALWAYS HAD MY MEDICINE!!!” *ruffles son’s hair and caresses his wife’s tummy; then planted a sweet kiss on her lips*

Kristen:  *Giggles*

Rob, Jr.:  “Mommy… Daddy?”

Kristen & Rob:  *Sigh*  “Yes, Son?”

Rob, Jr.:  “Why did Uncle Tom say I’m a voodoo-honeymoon baby?  And what is voodoo, anyway?  Is it the same as voodoo wedding? What is a voodoo wedding?  Is that, like, how babies are made?  Why did Uncle Tom say that voodoo wedding was fun?.... *Continues to mumble as he walks to his room*…  “And who is Claudia?  Uncle Tom said Claudia could be my sister’s name someday… Are you going to do the voo-doo to make Claudia?…”

Kristen:  “Babe, I may have to kill your best friend and your son’s godfather!!!”

Rob:  “No, baby! WE WILL do that together with a smile on our face!!!”