Prince: "What’s your problem Krypton Boy? I come out asking Kristen Stewart to be my Snow White and a day or two later you go talking to the press announcing that she is your Lois Lane? You are a…”
Superman: *Laughs Sarcastically* “Do you think Kristen would rather sing operatic songs with you than fly with me, huh?”
Prince: “Oh, shut up, Superman! You think you’re so hot going about playing god to mankind in your, um, blue leotards and red cape? Please! That is so gay!”
Superman: “Look who’s talking!?! One more word about my costume and I’m throwing you to Mars, PrinceWithNoName!” *Mocks Prince* “Or would you like me sing that to you so you’ll understand better?”
Prince: “I’ll have you know that my sword’s hilt is decorated with kryptonite stones.”
Rob: *Now really, really pissed* “I’ll have you both know that only I can make the decision as to whether or not MY Kristen could be your Snow White or Lois Lane. So, you, two, better shut it!” *Mumbles: It’s fucking hard to be a supportive boyfriend… I’d rather keep my girl to myself… but yeah… I have to let her grow as an actress… She’s so awesome*
Superman: “She is! And her legs…. Damn!”
Prince: *Sings* “She's got these big green eyes; and they're as wide as the moon; and they can take you to bed; without you leaving the room—”
Rob: *Growls* “Oh fuck! Leave. Now! Just so you know, I'm the world's most dangerous predator. Every thing about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell. As if I would need any of that... as if you could outrun me... as if you could fight me off. I'm designed to kill.”
Kristen: *Enters room* “Baby? Who are you talking to?”
Rob: *Stands up straight* “Oh, um… no one, baby.”
Kristen: “Why the scowl?”
Rob: *Sighs* “This Prince dude and this Superman guy…”
Kristen: *Embraces Rob* “You know… I prefer Edward Cullen the most. I don’t need a Prince… I don’t care about Superman. To me, Edward Cullen is a hero. He is impossibly fast… And strong. His skin is pale white and ice cold. His eyes change color... and sometimes he speaks like - like he’s from a different time. And he sparkles in the sunlight! He’s perfect!”
Kristen: “But not as perfect as you, Rob.”
Rob: *Grins happily*
Prince: “Fuck, I want her!”
Superman: “Let us see about that!”
Rob: *Furrows brows and turns to Kristen* “Baby… I have an idea…”
Kristen: *Wraps hands around Rob’s waste* “Let’s hear it!”
Rob: “I think that after Breaking Dawn, you should play the role of the young Sister Teresa of Calcutta. You know… A nun! That role is perfect for you!”
Prince & Superman: “Smart dude, that Robert Pattinson! No wonder Kristen fell for him!”
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This is FICTION!