“THE SPLINT IS A LOVE ACCESSORY”

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belong to their rightful owners.

No copyright infringement intended.

This is fiction. Thank you so much!

Get well soon, Kristen.

We Love You Much!!!

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Rob:  “Baby, do you need help?  I don’t want you hurting your thumb, you know.”

Kristen:  “No, honey.  I’m okay.  I can do this?”

Rob:  “But--”

Kristen:  *Exhales*  “Robert… I’m fine. I said I can do this… So, stand still. Okay?”

Rob:  “But… But, I’m dying here…”

Kristen:  *Sighs*  “If I have to push down your jean’s zipper with my teeth, I’ll freakin’ do it.  So, again.  Stay put and let me…”  *Sighs*  “And, sweetie, contain yourself a little bit, please… “It” doesn’t help--”

Rob:  *Breaths hard*  “But you said, ‘teeth!’  How in the world am I gonna contain myself?”

Kristen:  *Smirks* 

Rob:  *Looks down* “Goddamn it!”

Kristen:  “There!”

Rob: *Groans*

Jella:  “It’s feeding time again!”

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Tom:  “Why are you smiling?”

Rob:  “I’m not smiling.”

Tom:  “Yes, you are.”

Rob:  “No, I’m not.”

Tom:  *Studies Rob*  “Kristen told me she’s removing her splint today.”

Rob:  *Scowls*  “NO. SHE’S NOT!”

Tom:  *Confused*  “No?  But her thumb is fine!”

Rob:  “I know that and I’m relieved about that.  I want my Kristen healthy.

Tom:  “But you don’t want the splint removed?”

Rob: *Quiet*

Tom:  “I don’t get it!”

Rob:  *Grins widely* 

Tom:  “Whipped.  Both of you!”

Rob:  “No, we’re just creative!”

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Snow White:  “So, how did you injure your thumb?  You’re a vampire now, you’re supposed to be indestructible.”

Bella:  “Girl, two words:  VAMPIRE SEX!”

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Tom:  “You broke Kristen’s thumb?”

Rob:  “No, I did not!”

Tom:  “So, it’s not broken?”

Rob:  “No.”

Tom:  “But you hurt it.”

Rob:  *Sighs*  “It’s her idea.”

Tom: *Confused*  “It’s Kristen’s idea to hurt her thumb?”

Rob:  “NO!  It’s her idea we, um…”

Tom:  “What?” *Suppresses giggle*

Rob:  *Looks away with a big fat smile on his face*  “It’s her idea to, um, re-live a scene in Breaking Dawn.”

Tom:  “Which scene?”

Rob:  “Her first night as a vampire.”

Tom:  “YOU WENT HUNTING?”

Rob:  *Rolls eyes*  “NO!”

Tom:  “Wait.  Edward and Bella’s first night together in the cabin?”

Rob:  *Beams*

Tom:  *Incredulous* “You mean..”  *Wide eyes*  “But most of it are camera tricks and effects!”

Rob:  “Oh, there was no camera when we recreated the scene, man.  Awesome!”

Kristen:  “Robert!  Are you bragging again?”

Tom:  *Looks at Kristen, then at Rob… Then, back at Kristen.  Shakes head*  “You, two, are something!”

R/K:  “Yes, we are!”

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Kellan:  “I told you it’s not work-related!  Pay up, Lautner!  Woo-hoo!  I’m a hundred dollar richer!”

Lautner: “Damn!  How do you injure yourself making love?!”

Kellan: “Oh, you’re young.  You’re too vanilla still.  You got things to go, buddy.  You’ll learn.  Let me teach you some…”

Lautner:  “Are you kidding me?”

Kellan:  “It’s not, like, I’m gonna show you…”

Lautner:  “Eww… I don’t mean that!  I meant, if I want a teacher, I’d better get the best.”

Kellan:  “And I am the best!”

Lautner:  “Has your girlfriend ever been injured while at the throes of passion?”

Kellan:  “Um.  No.”

Lautner:  “In that case, I’m asking Rob to teach me.  I bet Kristen can attest that he is the best!”

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As tweeted on February 18, 2011

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Tom: "What happened to Kristen's hand?"

Rob: "Um, she gripped too hard...and the thing, um, jerked!"

Tom: "What thing?"

Rob: "THE THING!" #Robsten

Tom: "So, with Kristen's hand injured, she cannot--"

Rob: "OF COURSE SHE STILL CAN!"

Tom: "I was gonna say cook!"

Rob: "Oh!" #Robsten

Tom: "Your girl is injured & you let her travel without you?"

Rob: *Gasps* "Oh no! I'm a bad boyfriend!"

Tom: *Smirks and thinks: “This is too easy!”* #Robsten

Rob: "Just lie down, baby. I got this!"

Kristen: "Rob, it's just my thumb. I'm not invalid!"

Rob: "Let me take care of u, baby."

Kristen: But... Okaaaaay!"

Tom:  "How long before Kristen gets better?"

Rob:   "Oh, she needs bed rest for weeks! Maybe months!"

Tom:  "You'll take care of her?"

Rob:   “YUP!" #Robsten

Lautner: "What happened to Kristen's hand? Is it work-related?"

Tom: "You should know! You were there!"

Lautner:  "I don't sleep with them, Tom!" #Robsten

Rob: "Baby, do u need help with the shower?"

Kristen: "I got it, babe!"

Rob: "Oh, you can't move your left hand. Let me unzip you, then bathe you!" #Robsten

Rob: "Baby, don't move!"

Kristen: *Moves*

Rob:  "I got it, honey! Ur injured!"

Kristen: "I'm just gonna change my clothes."

Rob: "I told you, baby... I got it!" #Robsten