Monday, February 28, 2011


Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Jella?”

Jella:  “Yes, Pup?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Is mommy dying?”

Jella:  “What the hell, Pup?  How did you figure that?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Well… I watch TV and I know that if someone is dying you can save him or her.  And Daddy always saves mommy!  He gives her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation all the time!  Like constantly!  Daddy would close his eyes, giving mommy his last breath!”

Jella:  *Shakes head, then, smirks*  “Pup, you have so much to learn.  Mommy is not dying.  If she is, daddy will donate all his organs to mommy so she’ll live!  Get it?  That wasn’t moth-to-mouth re… um… re-- … um… re-su-something!  That is their feeding ritual!  Dad and mom like to drink through each other’s mouth.”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Oh!”  *Furrows brows*  “Jella?”

Jella:  *Sighs*  “Yes, pup.”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Is Daddy a doctor?”

Jella:  “Dude, where do you freakin’ get these ideas from?  Are you on something?  The Vet must have drugged you good!”  *Sniggers*  “No.  Daddy is not a doctor.  Why do you ask anyway?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Because I saw him give mommy physical exam… So many times!”

Jella:  *Perks up*  “What do you mean physical exam?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “You know… breast exam?… Feeling her breasts, you know.. to make sure there’s no lump there… And also her tummy, thighs, inner thighs… The Vet does that to me when I go for check up.  So, I figured, Daddy is a doctor.”

Jella:  *Ponders*  “Oh!  You know what, Pup?… You’re on to something.  I don’t know.  We have to figure that out together.  So, maybe… just maybe… Mommy is a doctor, too!  She does give daddy physical exam constantly as well.  Wow!  Our parents are Vets for human!  How awesome is that? They’re powerful, you know.”  *Nods at Rob’sNewPuppy*  “You’re good, Pup!”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Thank you, Jella.”  *Sighs*  “Jella?”

Jella:  “Yes, Pup?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Do mommy and daddy have Alzheimer’s disease or dementia?”

Jella:   *Looks away*  “Umm… Can you spell that for me?... I-uh-um… I sometimes get confused with words you know… I’m visual, you know…” *Clears throat*

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Oh, I’m sorry… Dementia affects intellectual and social abilities severely enough to interfere with daily functioning. It's caused by conditions or changes in the brain. Different types of dementia exist, depending on the cause. Alzheimer's disease is the most common type. Memory loss generally occurs in dementia.”

Jella:  *Dumbfounded*  “What the hell are you, Pup?  Are you an alien from another world?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “I probably have what human calls photographic memory.  When I hear or see something, it retains in my brain.  I believe that before I become a dog, I was probably a doctor in my previous life.”

Jella:  “Jezzuz!  The Vet overdose you with something, I’m sure!  You believe in that crap?!  Dude, listen… I freakin’ have nine lives.  So I don’t know what life this is and whose it was before.  Was I a soldier?  I don’t know.  For all I know I have a priest spirit in my cat-body right now!  I’m sure; coz I have so much patience listening to your… um… confession!”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Do you want me to call you Father Jella?”

Jella:  “What’s that red scratch mark on your face, Pup?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “What?  I don’t have a scratch on my face!”

Jella:  “You’ll have plenty if you don’t put a lid on it!  Listen… and listen good… We are who we are!  We should love and accept who we are so that it’s easier for us to love and accept others for who they are!”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “AMEN, Brother!!!  AMEN!!!”

Jella:  *Looks sternly at Rob’sNewPuppy* 

Rob’sNewPuppy: “Sorry!!!”  *Giggles*  “About the Alzheimer’s disease or dementia--- Well, I noticed that Mommy sometimes forgets daddy’s name.  She calls him, baby or honey… and sometimes when daddy is doing the physical exam thingee… mommy just forgets to speak!  She just moans incoherent, gibberish words… Like, howling, you know---”

Jella:  *Sniggers*  “Dad does it, too!!!  I think sometimes he thinks he’s a Prince and Mommy’s a Princess.  There are times when, I think, daddy thinks mommy is a doll!  And yeah… When mommy is playing NurseBaby to daddy, he’s like speaking in tongues or something… it’s kinda funny actually!”  *Guffaws*

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “I know!  It worries me!”

Jella:  “Boy… You’re still young.  You’ll learn.  You’re lucky you have me.  I will explain. Mom and dad don’t have… um… dem--- dem-something or Al-something… Whatever… They just love and enjoy petting each other… like licking and that stuff!  I figured it’s a feeding ritual.  So--- No!  Mom and Dad are very healthy!  You’ll get used to the moaning and howling and stuff!”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Jella?”

Jella:  “WHAT?!?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Is it true?”

Jella:  “True, what?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Is it true that I was adopted for our new human-baby-brother?”

Jella:  *Laughs*  “Just where in the world did you get that idea from?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Remember I got sick so Mom and Dad took me to the Vet?”

Jella:  “So?”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Well… I heard some people there saying that I am, like, a “practice-baby”… You know… like a trial baby or something like that… Like, Mom and Dad are expecting you know… I heard…”

Jella:  *Serious tone*  “Pup.  Listen to yourself.  Are you forgetting about me?  ME?  ME!  I’ve been with our parents FOREVER!  That’s an insult to me, man!  Are you telling me that I wasn’t loved?

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “NO!  I don’t mean it that way.  Forget it!  I’m sorry.”

Jella:  “Just so you know.  Mom and dad love me like I’m their real and ONLY child!  They are, by nature, nurturers.  They are capable of feeling and giving love… Infinitely!  Look at you?  You got sick.  They took you to the Vet themselves! They’re hands-on parents, dude!  You and I and our human sibling are very lucky to have Mom and Dad as our parents.  Are you feeling me here, brother?  You’re getting me?” 

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “I mean… I don’t mind---”

Jella:  “Zip it!  I don’t want to hear it!”

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “Jella?”

Jella:  “What now, Pup?”  *Rolls eyes*

Rob’sNewPuppy:  “I’m glad I have you.  I’m glad we’re family.”

Jella:  *Scratches Rob’sNewPuppy’s head playfully*  “You’re alright,  Pup.  And you know what?  Believe it or not, I am, too!”

***The End***

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  1. The idea of this piece is brilliant~~

  2. God, I stumbled into this blog from a tweet and now I am hooked. And this is actually the first fan fiction I am reading (I was a bit afraid of the letdown). You are so funny!

  3. Wow! I have no words! But, please, let me thank you for taking the time to visit Robsten For Live Blog; and for sharing your commment/s. Believe me when I say that your words inspire me and they make me happy. So... Thank you very much.


  4. Sweet! Gotta love all the Robsten rituals! The puppy is just like Rob, so cerebral,and with incessant questions. Reminds me of the Twilight commentary when Catherine told him to just "look pretty". Thank you fanfiction deities for Ate Ofie.

  5. "Our parents are Vets for human!" LOL! This goes down as one of my fav posts. I laughed at Jella and the new pups banter from beginning to end. Loved it Ofie.

  6. ohhhhhhh silly robsnewpuppy, and jella being big brother? cuteeeeee hahahaahahahahaa