Saturday, February 19, 2011

“THE SPLINT IS A LOVE ACCESSORY”



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All copyrighted photos used in this blog
belong to their rightful owners.
No copyright infringement intended.
This is fiction. Thank you so much!

Get well soon, Kristen.
We Love You Much!!!
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Rob:  “Baby, do you need help?  I don’t want you hurting your thumb, you know.”
Kristen:  “No, honey.  I’m okay.  I can do this?”
Rob:  “But--”
Kristen:  *Exhales*  “Robert… I’m fine. I said I can do this… So, stand still. Okay?”
Rob:  “But… But, I’m dying here…”
Kristen:  *Sighs*  “If I have to push down your jean’s zipper with my teeth, I’ll freakin’ do it.  So, again.  Stay put and let me…”  *Sighs*  “And, sweetie, contain yourself a little bit, please… “It” doesn’t help--”
Rob:  *Breaths hard*  “But you said, ‘teeth!’  How in the world am I gonna contain myself?”
Kristen:  *Smirks* 
Rob:  *Looks down* “Goddamn it!”
Kristen:  “There!”
Rob: *Groans*
Jella:  “It’s feeding time again!”

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Tom:  “Why are you smiling?”
Rob:  “I’m not smiling.”
Tom:  “Yes, you are.”
Rob:  “No, I’m not.”
Tom:  *Studies Rob*  “Kristen told me she’s removing her splint today.”
Rob:  *Scowls*  “NO. SHE’S NOT!”
Tom:  *Confused*  “No?  But her thumb is fine!”
Rob:  “I know that and I’m relieved about that.  I want my Kristen healthy.
Tom:  “But you don’t want the splint removed?”
Rob: *Quiet*
Tom:  “I don’t get it!”
Rob:  *Grins widely* 
Tom:  “Whipped.  Both of you!”
Rob:  “No, we’re just creative!”

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Snow White:  “So, how did you injure your thumb?  You’re a vampire now, you’re supposed to be indestructible.”
Bella:  “Girl, two words:  VAMPIRE SEX!”

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Tom:  “You broke Kristen’s thumb?”
Rob:  “No, I did not!”
Tom:  “So, it’s not broken?”
Rob:  “No.”
Tom:  “But you hurt it.”
Rob:  *Sighs*  “It’s her idea.”
Tom: *Confused*  “It’s Kristen’s idea to hurt her thumb?”
Rob:  “NO!  It’s her idea we, um…”
Tom:  “What?” *Suppresses giggle*
Rob:  *Looks away with a big fat smile on his face*  “It’s her idea to, um, re-live a scene in Breaking Dawn.”
Tom:  “Which scene?”
Rob:  “Her first night as a vampire.”
Tom:  “YOU WENT HUNTING?”
Rob:  *Rolls eyes*  “NO!”
Tom:  “Wait.  Edward and Bella’s first night together in the cabin?”
Rob:  *Beams*
Tom:  *Incredulous* “You mean..”  *Wide eyes*  “But most of it are camera tricks and effects!”
Rob:  “Oh, there was no camera when we recreated the scene, man.  Awesome!”
Kristen:  “Robert!  Are you bragging again?”
Tom:  *Looks at Kristen, then at Rob… Then, back at Kristen.  Shakes head*  “You, two, are something!”
R/K:  “Yes, we are!”

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Kellan:  “I told you it’s not work-related!  Pay up, Lautner!  Woo-hoo!  I’m a hundred dollar richer!”
Lautner: “Damn!  How do you injure yourself making love?!”
Kellan: “Oh, you’re young.  You’re too vanilla still.  You got things to go, buddy.  You’ll learn.  Let me teach you some…”
Lautner:  “Are you kidding me?”
Kellan:  “It’s not, like, I’m gonna show you…”
Lautner:  “Eww… I don’t mean that!  I meant, if I want a teacher, I’d better get the best.”
Kellan:  “And I am the best!”
Lautner:  “Has your girlfriend ever been injured while at the throes of passion?”
Kellan:  “Um.  No.”
Lautner:  “In that case, I’m asking Rob to teach me.  I bet Kristen can attest that he is the best!”


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As tweeted on February 18, 2011
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Tom: "What happened to Kristen's hand?"
Rob: "Um, she gripped too hard...and the thing, um, jerked!"
Tom: "What thing?"
Rob: "THE THING!" #Robsten

Tom: "So, with Kristen's hand injured, she cannot--"
Rob: "OF COURSE SHE STILL CAN!"
Tom: "I was gonna say cook!"
Rob: "Oh!" #Robsten

Tom: "Your girl is injured & you let her travel without you?"
Rob: *Gasps* "Oh no! I'm a bad boyfriend!"
Tom: *Smirks and thinks: “This is too easy!”* #Robsten

Rob: "Just lie down, baby. I got this!"
Kristen: "Rob, it's just my thumb. I'm not invalid!"
Rob: "Let me take care of u, baby."
Kristen: But... Okaaaaay!"

Tom:  "How long before Kristen gets better?"
Rob:   "Oh, she needs bed rest for weeks! Maybe months!"
Tom:  "You'll take care of her?"
Rob:   “YUP!" #Robsten

Lautner: "What happened to Kristen's hand? Is it work-related?"
Tom: "You should know! You were there!"
Lautner:  "I don't sleep with them, Tom!" #Robsten

Rob: "Baby, do u need help with the shower?"
Kristen: "I got it, babe!"
Rob: "Oh, you can't move your left hand. Let me unzip you, then bathe you!" #Robsten

Rob: "Baby, don't move!"
Kristen: *Moves*
Rob:  "I got it, honey! Ur injured!"
Kristen: "I'm just gonna change my clothes."
Rob: "I told you, baby... I got it!" #Robsten

5 comments:

  1. Hahaaaa :D Ate Ofie, you are the best :D Funny as always :) Thank you :D
    And I'm sure, the babygirl will get better very soon, she has the best doctor in the world :D

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  2. Just look at how caring Rob is to Kristen at that photo where they attended a wedding:)..I'm sure Rob took good care of Kristen's injured hand..awwww so sweet Robsten :)

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  3. I'm laughing so loud that my daugther, hubby and dog are all looking worriedly at me like,"if's she's committed,where's our meals gonna come from?" You are simply divine! What is in that water where you're from??

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  4. you know i adore your posts ..but latley its all about they sex life .. i mean it is funny and all .. but i kinda miss the sweet loving words
    love your blog .

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  5. Thanks for your comments, bbs. I really do appreciate your taking the time to read my posts.
    :)

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