ON THE ROAD WITH THE BRIT PACK

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K-Text: "Get your ass here in five hours or you're getting no ass."

R-Text: "Almost there, babe." *Turns to Tom: "Drop me at the airport now!"  I'll meet you in New Orleans!"


Sam & Tom: "Chu-kush!" *Immitating the sound of a whip.*
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Rob: "Shit, we have a flat tire!"

Tom: "No, biggie! We can do this!"

Sam: "Come on, let's do it, then! I badly need a shower!"

Tom: "I know. Me, too!" *Gets out and stretches*

Sam: "Rob?"

Tom: "What are you doing?"

Rob: "Oh, I'm texting Kristen."

Tom: *Shakes head* "You're REPORTING to her about the flat tire?"

Rob: "Um... NO!"

What: "So, what are you texting her?"

Rob: *Shrugs shoulders* "Oh, I'm just asking where the spare tire is... that's all! NO BIG DEAL!"
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Rob: "Okay, Tom, it's your turn to drive. I'm exhausted."

Tom: "Not happening."

Rob: "Sam?"

Sam: "Not happening."

Rob: "Why the fuck not?"

Tom: "I don't have an American license."

Sam: "Neither do I?"

Rob: "Jella?"

Tom: "What the fuck?" *Glares at Rob* "Fine! I'm driving!"

Sam: "I'M DRIVING NEXT!"
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Sam: *whispering to Tom* " Why is Rob driving again? He's fucking slow!

Tom: *Smiles* Oooh, we can remedy that!"

Sam: "How?"

Tom: "Watch!" *Clears Throat* "Um, Rob, I think Kristen is shooting the sex scence in like.. *pretends to look at his watch*... in like six hours! Today is the 7th, right?"

Rob: "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

Sam & Tom: "WHOA! SLOW DOWN!"

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Rob: "Do you want to stop for food?"

Sam: *Sarcastic Tone* "Are you sure? I mean, we don't want to waste time!"

Rob: "So, do you or do you not want to stop for food?"

Tom: "McDonald's fine."

Rob: *Smiles...* "Ahhhh... McDonald's... Do you know when Kristen and I were in Budapest... We stopped at McDonald's on our way to the airport because my baby got hungry and we ordered...."

Tom:  *Groans in Frustration*  "Bloody hell, Rob.... WE KNOW!!!  You fucking say that every time we see a McDonald's!"

Sam: "We also know about every place you and your lady love visited.  In case you didn't notice... Rob... we're, like, your diary since we left fuckin' L.A.!"

Rob:  *Laughs*  "Speaking of L.A.... Do you like the new place that Kristen and I are staying at?"

Tom and Sam:  "OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!"

Jella:  Hehehe... THAT'S MY DAD! I wonder if Uncle Tome and Uncle Sam are still excited about this trip!
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Tom: "Turn Right, Rob!"

Rob: "No! MapQuest said Left!"

Tom: "Ugh. I told you to buy GPS!"

Rob: "We don't need GPS! I printed the directions."

Jella: *In deep thought* Mommy, I am going to miss you. This road trip will take a while...
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Rob: "Guys, You gotta be quiet when Kristen calls. This is a surprise."

Tom: "Yeah, Rob, you said that like a million times already.

*Phone rings* Rob pulled over! Excitedly answered the phone!

Rob: "Hey, baby!... Yeah, I miss you, too..."

Half an hour later...

Tom: "Rob, if we pull over every time you and Kristen talk, she'll be on her flight back to L.A. before we get to New Orleans!" *Rolls eyes*
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Tom: "We don't need that to bring with us to our Road Trip, Rob."

Rob: "Yeah, we do!"

Tom: "Really, Rob? Kristen's Twilight poster?"
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If they're driving in Rob's old car... hehehe...
I wonder how long before they reach NOLA. Hmm... LOL...
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Sam: "So where are we staying in NO?"
 
Rob: "Kristen's room!"
 
Tom: "How about us, Rob?"
 
Rob: "Owww..."
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Tom: "I need to take a leak, man!"

Rob: "No! We're not stopping."

Tom: "Fuck, Rob! I'm gonna burst!"

Sam: "Will you just pull over, Rob. Jeez. It will only take like a minute!"

Rob: "Fine!" *Pulls over*

2 minutes later.

Tom: "Okay, Let's go!"

Rob: *Smiling* "Hold on... I'm texting Kristen!!!"

Sam and Tom: "No Kidding!!!" *Groans*  
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Tom: "Can we fuckin' put some music on now, Rob!"

Rob: "Again, Tom. NO! NO! NO!"

Sam: "Why do you even bother to ask, Tom. Obviously, our friend here, Mr. Pattinson, is a PUSSY-SLAVE!"

Tom: *Mock-Imitates Rob* "Yes, babe! Sure Kristen! Will do, love. In a moment, sweetie. Soon, Honey!"

Sam: *Laughs* "Tom, we better shut the fuck up or else Mr. Pattinson won't hear his phone ring when Ms. Stewart calls!"

Rob: *Glares at Sam & Tom* "You're just jealous!"

Sam & Tom: *Roll eyes*
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Sam: "So we brought beers but no food?"

Rob: "Are you complaining?"

Sam: "HELL NO!"
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Tom: "That was the last gas station in, like, the next 50 miles, you dumb-ass!

Rob: "Shut up and keep pushing!"