Monday, September 6, 2010

ON THE ROAD WITH THE BRIT PACK










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K-Text: "Get your ass here in five hours or you're getting no ass."

R-Text: "Almost there, babe." *Turns to Tom: "Drop me at the airport now!"  I'll meet you in New Orleans!"


Sam & Tom: "Chu-kush!" *Immitating the sound of a whip.*
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Rob: "Shit, we have a flat tire!"

Tom: "No, biggie! We can do this!"

Sam: "Come on, let's do it, then! I badly need a shower!"

Tom: "I know. Me, too!" *Gets out and stretches*

Sam: "Rob?"

Tom: "What are you doing?"

Rob: "Oh, I'm texting Kristen."

Tom: *Shakes head* "You're REPORTING to her about the flat tire?"

Rob: "Um... NO!"

What: "So, what are you texting her?"

Rob: *Shrugs shoulders* "Oh, I'm just asking where the spare tire is... that's all! NO BIG DEAL!"
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Rob: "Okay, Tom, it's your turn to drive. I'm exhausted."

Tom: "Not happening."

Rob: "Sam?"

Sam: "Not happening."

Rob: "Why the fuck not?"

Tom: "I don't have an American license."

Sam: "Neither do I?"

Rob: "Jella?"

Tom: "What the fuck?" *Glares at Rob* "Fine! I'm driving!"

Sam: "I'M DRIVING NEXT!"
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Sam: *whispering to Tom* " Why is Rob driving again? He's fucking slow!

Tom: *Smiles* Oooh, we can remedy that!"

Sam: "How?"

Tom: "Watch!" *Clears Throat* "Um, Rob, I think Kristen is shooting the sex scence in like.. *pretends to look at his watch*... in like six hours! Today is the 7th, right?"

Rob: "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

Sam & Tom: "WHOA! SLOW DOWN!"

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Rob: "Do you want to stop for food?"

Sam: *Sarcastic Tone* "Are you sure? I mean, we don't want to waste time!"

Rob: "So, do you or do you not want to stop for food?"

Tom: "McDonald's fine."

Rob: *Smiles...* "Ahhhh... McDonald's... Do you know when Kristen and I were in Budapest... We stopped at McDonald's on our way to the airport because my baby got hungry and we ordered...."

Tom:  *Groans in Frustration*  "Bloody hell, Rob.... WE KNOW!!!  You fucking say that every time we see a McDonald's!"

Sam: "We also know about every place you and your lady love visited.  In case you didn't notice... Rob... we're, like, your diary since we left fuckin' L.A.!"

Rob:  *Laughs*  "Speaking of L.A.... Do you like the new place that Kristen and I are staying at?"

Tom and Sam:  "OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!"

Jella:  Hehehe... THAT'S MY DAD! I wonder if Uncle Tome and Uncle Sam are still excited about this trip!
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Tom: "Turn Right, Rob!"

Rob: "No! MapQuest said Left!"

Tom: "Ugh. I told you to buy GPS!"

Rob: "We don't need GPS! I printed the directions."

Jella: *In deep thought* Mommy, I am going to miss you. This road trip will take a while...
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Rob: "Guys, You gotta be quiet when Kristen calls. This is a surprise."

Tom: "Yeah, Rob, you said that like a million times already.

*Phone rings* Rob pulled over! Excitedly answered the phone!

Rob: "Hey, baby!... Yeah, I miss you, too..."

Half an hour later...

Tom: "Rob, if we pull over every time you and Kristen talk, she'll be on her flight back to L.A. before we get to New Orleans!" *Rolls eyes*
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Tom: "We don't need that to bring with us to our Road Trip, Rob."

Rob: "Yeah, we do!"

Tom: "Really, Rob? Kristen's Twilight poster?"
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If they're driving in Rob's old car... hehehe...
I wonder how long before they reach NOLA. Hmm... LOL...
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Sam: "So where are we staying in NO?"
 
Rob: "Kristen's room!"
 
Tom: "How about us, Rob?"
 
Rob: "Owww..."
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Tom: "I need to take a leak, man!"

Rob: "No! We're not stopping."

Tom: "Fuck, Rob! I'm gonna burst!"

Sam: "Will you just pull over, Rob. Jeez. It will only take like a minute!"

Rob: "Fine!" *Pulls over*

2 minutes later.

Tom: "Okay, Let's go!"

Rob: *Smiling* "Hold on... I'm texting Kristen!!!"

Sam and Tom: "No Kidding!!!" *Groans*  
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Tom: "Can we fuckin' put some music on now, Rob!"

Rob: "Again, Tom. NO! NO! NO!"

Sam: "Why do you even bother to ask, Tom. Obviously, our friend here, Mr. Pattinson, is a PUSSY-SLAVE!"

Tom: *Mock-Imitates Rob* "Yes, babe! Sure Kristen! Will do, love. In a moment, sweetie. Soon, Honey!"

Sam: *Laughs* "Tom, we better shut the fuck up or else Mr. Pattinson won't hear his phone ring when Ms. Stewart calls!"

Rob: *Glares at Sam & Tom* "You're just jealous!"

Sam & Tom: *Roll eyes*
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Sam: "So we brought beers but no food?"

Rob: "Are you complaining?"

Sam: "HELL NO!"
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Tom: "That was the last gas station in, like, the next 50 miles, you dumb-ass!

Rob: "Shut up and keep pushing!"

11 comments:

  1. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

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  2. This is hilarious, I really hope that it's true Lol lol lol lol

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  3. I just wanted to say: your posts are awesome and totally make my day....
    LOL I can't stop laughing, this is so Rob, I don't know how you can do it, but you pictured Rob as him is.... ADORKABLE, CRAZY, CUTE, SWEET all that's little things because of we love him SOOO MUCH!
    THANK YOU ATE...

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  4. LMAO Sweetie - this is HILARIOUS! xox

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  5. bahahahahaahaha...tom and sam is such a good friends...

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  6. ate ofie...i looooooooooooove it...my stomach really did hurt because i can't help myself...it made my day feel great...keep them coming ate...

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  7. ROTF LMAO! U always make me laugh so hard, but this time I think u put me in ICU, I was laughing so hard. Girl u got nailed this post. Loved it! ;D mwah

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  8. this is hilarious!

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