But in any case, whether it’s a love shared by a couple in their teens, 20’s, 40’s, or 60’s, if it lacks commitment, it will eventually die.But the tragedy lies not in the separation.It’s more on the time and emotions invested in the relationship.When it’s over, it’s over.Yet, the emotions don’t end there.You can’t un-feel.Can’t take back time.Can’t un-love or re-love.Can’t rewind, pause, or fast forward.
And here I am…Young and irrevocably in love.Yes, I may be young, but I’ve already chosen.I’ve made my decision.I made peace with myself.I will only love one man for the rest of my life.I will be fully committed to this love that brought me so much joy and contentment.Edward Cullen, the very meaning of my life, is who I’m committing myself and my life to for as long as I live.
Now, don’t get me wrong, dear diary. I’m only human and I, like the rest of humanity, have many flaws.I make mistakes.I have my moments.
I am fully aware that my baby is a very handsome man and every breathing bitch who happens to lay eyes on him wants him.Hear me out… I keep my cool.I just bite my lip, lower or upper – it depends on the situation – and just remind myself that my baby chose me.My baby loves me more than anything.I am his home as much as he is mine.
There are times when I just can’t let it slip by, you know.Like that incident in the cafeteria the other day.I was practically glued to my baby’s lap.My hands around his neck, his hands around my waist.We were whispering and just enjoying our bubble when I happened to glance at the sluts’ table and saw fucking double-D midget, Jessica-Fucking-Stanley, eye-fucking my man.Fucking whore!Was she fucking blind?I wanted to stab her eyes with ice-pick, then her over-inflated, rounded mounds next, and make her an example for those whores who make the same mistake!It was just a thought.A very good thought at that.I, like always, just shrugged my shoulders and focused my energy on Edward.
I am neither violent nor vindictive.However, to the delight of my baby, I release these pent-up emotions when we are alone.I swear, sometimes I, too, wonder where I get that much stamina from.I fucking surprise my baby and myself!I mean, wow!I didn’t know I can bend, flip, stretch, like that!Modesty aside, dear diary, those well-trained gymnasts have nothing on me!And the way I grind?Ha!I’ll put every belly dancer to shame!That’s how committed I am to our relationship.100% all the way!Who would have thought, that this shy, quiet girl could put the fucking porno industry to bankruptcy!
“Don’t fucking stop loving me,” my baby would growl while I do my, um, stunts.This rather increases my need for him… always.And boy, the repeat performance always has a standing ovation, against the wall, behind the door, by the window… All night performance.
Hmm… I wonder why Charlie couldn’t hear us…
Just this morning, Charlie made an attempt to talk to me about the birds and bees...and my flower!Damn! That’s was awkward.
“Are you and Edward intimate?”He asked me straight.
“Dad!”I exclaimed.“Edward is old school.I’m still a virgin!”Liar, liar, pants on fire!Yup!
Shut up, conscience!
Then, before he could continue his interrogation, I ran upstairs to my bedroom where my baby was already waiting for me for round…. Um… Jeez, I lost count by then! He and I were amazing!
We fit.We connect.We live for each other.
So you see, dear diary, there’s a place for everything.I am a saint outside our bed, but I am the sex goddess my baby bows to inside, every fucking time!
Age isn’t how we gauge what relationship would last.When you are committed... trusting, believing, and being honest come natural… they come easier.
Yes.Young love is fresh and passionate.But thankfully, my Bella said she’s still a virgin.Do I believe her?Absolutely!
I raised my daughter with integrity.I mean, I’m the one who locks the doors every night and there’s no way Edward Cullen could get in.NO WAY!
When I know that my daughter is safely tucked in her bed, I smile knowing she’s safe, then, doze off.
Sure, I hear some noise later on, in the middle of the night.You gotta understand, dear diary, my Bella talks in her sleep.Sometimes she has nightmares.So, when she screams and grunts, groans, and moans, I know that it’s just another dream.After those sounds, she sighs, even giggles… Her nightmare ended to be a good dream.
Sure, there are nights when she’d be hitting the wall or the door, then makes loud stamping on the floor… it’s just her practicing her balance; perfecting her posture.My Bella is clumsy, but I give her credit for trying to improve herself.Such a good kid!
Some nights, I hear another sound.Like someone’s with her.Like someone’s trying to hold his whimper… I don’t panic.Never.I know that it’s only Bella, watching some horror clips on Youtube.I let her be because she always wakes up early in the morning anyway.Her grades are always above average.I’m so proud of her.
There are moments when I know Bella’s restless.She takes hot shower at night to calm her down.I know when the warm water soothes her because I could hear her as she sighs loudly… It relaxes her!I’m glad.
After her shower, I could hear some soggy, squishy, sound… Like when you rub too much lotion in your palms… I don’t use lotion; but I make a mental note to give a little money to Bella so that she could at least buy the brand of lotion she likes.She’s my only child, after all.
I have faith in my daughter.Edward Cullen is a respectful young man.They are young, yes.They are in love, yes.But they don’t flaunt their love in public. No PDAs.A little kiss here and there… holding hands… simple gesture… much to my liking.Nothing major.Edward picks her up in the morning; drops her home in the afternoon… They do their homework together; watch TV after; then at 9PM, Edward goes home.Bella, then, goes upstairs to her room.
Wait a minute.I just realized something.Why is Edward’s shirt inside out when I got home?I came home half an hour earlier today because of this headache.And why is Bella’s top misbuttoned?And what were they doing in the laundry room?
Oh yeah! Silly me!That’s right!They were playing water balloon in the backyard and they got wet and Bella had to put their clothes in the dryer and it just finished drying when I arrived home.
Hold on a sec, dear diary….
So... When Bella put their clothes in the dryer… this means, they were… N-NAKED!?
Son of a bitch!!!
Hold on dear diary….
Well, I’m back dear diary… I feel bad now.How could I think that way about my child!Of course they used towels. It was unnecessary but Bella did show me the towels.The, um, white stains were spilled ice cream.
Bella explained, a little embarrassed, that they stayed in the kitchen, did their homework, ate ice cream… then their clothes finished drying when I got home, and they hastily put their clothes back on... before I get the wrong idea!
I have to make it up to my daughter, somehow.Maybe let her go sleepover with Alice this weekend.
Just a second… What?We don’t have ice cream in the refrigerator!
Oh, hell!I’m being paranoid!
Well, I guess they passed by 7-11 and got those ice cream cups!
My headache is back, dear diary… I need my vitamin R!