Wednesday, September 8, 2010

SHE KNOWS...

Kristen: *On the phone* “So are you almost here?”

Robert: *On the phone* “Yes, babe. Almost.”

Kristen: *On the phone* “Good.  How much longer, baby?”

Robert: *On the phone* “Roughly five hours.”

Kristen: *On the phone* “Oh. I thought… *Sighs* Well, never mind then… I’ll just put the whip cream and chocolate syrup back in the fridge and put my clothes back on… *in her husky voice* Would you rather I wear the black Jean Paul Gaultier lingerie you bought me, babe?  Remember how the sheer material hugged my ass when I tried it on?  Just, umm, text me when you're almost here so I can fill the tub... I bet you're muscles need massaging... I'll bathe you, baby... in the nude... *breathes seductively* I'll take care of you, baby... when YOU GET HERE!  Well, I’ll just go…”

Robert: *On the phone… Breathing hard* “Don’t you fucking move, babe! Shit! I’m COMING!”

Sam: “What the hell? You fuckin’ ran through a red light!”

Tom: *Whispering to Sam* “HE DIDN’T MEAN TO STEP ON THE ACCELERATOR… He’s on the phone with his Viagra… something twitched… you know… involuntary movement of MUSCLES!”

Sam: “What?”

Tom: “Yup! She has him in the palm of her hands… figuratively and literally!”

Rob: “Fuck! My baby’s hot!!! WE ARE NOT STOPPING…”

Sam: “But I’m thirsty!”

Rob: “Fucking swallow your spit!” *Steps harder on the gas*

10 comments:

  1. Oh yes she is his viagra! LMAO
    It's awesome!As always.

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  2. Too funny! Your humour is amazing... I just love it! Thank you, thank you for sharing it. ROTFLMAO

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  3. YUP! Kristen is Rob's own viagra's brand!

    Drivers of the world you better watch out!!! a very HOT Rob driving is REALLY DANGEROUS!
    I'M TERRIFIED....HAHAHA!

    ATE AS ALWAYS YOU CRACK ME UP GIRL!

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  4. Kristen is definitely Rob's personal brand of viagra. I'm still LMAO!

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  5. hahhaha
    Oh God that was so funny!
    I love all your stories and I post this one in my blog :D
    Check it out if u want http://twilightaddictionn.tumblr.com/post/1090761441/amazxing-nottrue-robsten-story-by

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  6. So funny thanks you , i can't wait to read what you will write when he's in NOLA
    and how was Jella ? ;)

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  7. Hey, sweeties. I'm so relieved you liked this post. I was worried it's a little "out of hand." LOL! Thank you again, so, so much, for your comments. I really cannot wait to see some Robsten Sightings in NOLA!

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  8. Just woke up the whole house. This was classic. Tom: “Yup! She has him in the palm of her hands… figuratively and literally!” LOL!!! You are brillant.

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