(This is a product of some sleepless nights... Just I reiterated in my disclaimer below... scroll down...down some more... some more.... Well, I don't own Twilight! No one does! However, Stephanie Meyer wrote a book which she called Twilight. So, I'm sort of borrowing her beloved characters. Thank you!)
Umm... this is a little awkward for me, so please bear with me if I'm a little hesitant to share with you my thoughts and some concerns. Except, I have to release some of the anxieties that are becoming somewhat unbearable these days.
My daughter, Bella, for a while now has been going out with a young man; polite, respectful, tall, and I'm sure every unmarried girl, young and old alike, in our little town of Forks, dreams of hooking up with this boy: Edward Cullen.
Now, don't go tellin' me that I'm biased, but I believe my daughter Bella is beautiful. She is shy, yes; but she speaks her mind and very smart. She is as good as a catch as her boyfriend.
My daughter and her beau are pretty much exclusive; perhaps too serious for my liking at their young age. I can see, though, that Edward adores my Bella. He treats her like a fragile little bird. And this is where my concern begins. Edward and Bella act a little PG13 for a couple. If you happen to catch them gazing at each other's eyes, you'd look away because not even the Fork's Water Reservoir could ever extinguish the intensity in their eyes. So, I have a suspicion. It's been at the back of my mind for a while now. It's puzzling though how controlled they are with displaying their affection.
At night, when I go to bed, I'd hear another set of footsteps in my daughter's bedroom. Sometimes, I pretend to be in deep slumber, faking a snore. I would, then, hear Bella giggle, then hear the bed squeak. With a speed I didn't know I possess, I'd run to her bedroom but I always find... NOTHING! She's always alone in her bedroom, on her bed, sleeping.
Upon Edward's return from living in Los Angeles (I'm still suspicious about this), I noticed that the two have become even more closer... even more in love. Sure, I see them kiss and hug, but always controlled. I was once in love. It was hard to keep my hands off Renee when we were together.
The "activities" in Bella's room continued but I guess it was just my imagination.
However, last night, dear diary, a loud banging on the wall woke me up. I abruptly got up. I listened for a while... and there I heard it... MOANING... GROANING... CURSING... BED SQUEAKING... the sound of unadulterated sex! My Bella screaming in somewhat disturbing manner. To say I was stunned was an understatement. I didn't know what to do. Is it Edward? I thought to myself. Without thinking, I went to grab my gun from its holster and ran fast to kill the mother-fucker (no pun intended) who's screwing my Bella.
I kicked the door open and there.... I saw...
EDWARD CULLEN BANGING MY DAUGHTER...HARD... REALLY HARD!
"You son of a bitch!" I screamed with passion and pointed the gun at him.
"Billy, no!" My daughter screamed, pulling that mother-fucker, Edward Cullen, into her arms... gripping him, protecting him.
Then confusion hit me. "Billy?" I asked. I swear to god Bella called me Billy.