Wednesday, August 25, 2010


(You got it! This is fiction!)

Dear Diary,

Today, I found myself praying to all the gods that human beings pray to!  Even to Elvis and to the Holy Cow!  Holy crap is pushing it and I might insult the senior gods.  I'm Jacob-Black-mad!  Pretty close to how mad Edward Cullen was when he found out I kissed Bella Swan without her permission...

Anyhoo---  I ordered a custom RV trailer for use on the set where I'm filming "Abduction," but the RV trailer I ordered arrived late!  Bella Swan even delivered Renesmee faster than the delivery of my dang RV!  Damn! (Sorry, I don't curse... that's my worst, by the way.. please bear with me). 

The said trailer was scheduled to arrive on set in late June TWO THOUSAND TEN... Rob and Kristen came and went... came again and again... over and over... but the dang trailer never friggin came!  Go figure!  THERE WAS NO TRAILER TO BE FOUND!  I am totally crushed!  I am now as mad as when the Nonstens finally found out that Rob and Kristen are real couple and very much in love; that no matter how they bury themselves in denial, the truth about Rob and Kristen being faithful and totally in love with each other will always be in their face! 
So, last Monday, I filed papers to sue the company I purchased the damn trailer from for breach of contract!  Shit!  Even Renesmee Cullen did a better job with her breech birth! 

Anyway, I don't want to discuss Renesmee at this time... I still cringe at the thought that Jacob Black found himself in love with a new born baby!  Ewww!  Sick!  But, I guess.. at least with Renesemee, Jacob has a chance to score even if he had to wait for seven long years.  Okay, I get it!  After 3 movies, Jacob Black has finally accepted that Bella Swan belongs to Edward Cullen.  Even in damn real life!  Because, honestly, dear diary, Kristen is super cool!  I'd like to have a girl just like her!  Ooopss... I'd better not piss the Robsten god!

That is why I pray to all the gods that I win this case. 

I promise you, oh gods... including the Robsten god - whoever you are - that if I won this case, I'd buy a super cool tour bus, with all the ammenities, and will lend it to Rob and Kristen when we shoot Breaking Dawn so that they can be comfy when they, uh, take a quickie break... I mean, you know, to rest and relax after shooting a scene. 

Since I'm writing about my two good friends, Rob and Kristen, dear diary.... Let me just say that I kept their not-so-secret relationship, never once outed them... which leads me to believe that the Robsten god will take pity on me and lobby for me in the god kingdom!

I gotta go now so I could google what god I've missed.

Wish me luck, dear diary.



  1. hahhahahhaa..poor taylor.and funny
    i always love your post :)

  2. OMG! I'm LOL-ing! Robsten God!

  3. lol! poore taylor always in the middle of them! I LUV it! you're amazing!

  4.!/group.php?gid=105040316219066 everybody join this group!

  5. I found these yesterday and loved them. I found myself laughing outloud. Thank you, you are amazing.