Saturday, August 21, 2010


Kristen:  "Um, baby?  What are you doing?"

Rob: *Serious expression on his face*  "Oh, I'm e-mailing Summit, Babe."

Kristen: "Why?"

Rob:  "I'm just making a request to make Breaking Dawn AUTHENTIC.  That's all!  No biggie."

Kristen:  "What do you mean when you say 'authentic,' Babe?

Rob: *Grins*  "You know... the honeymoon... when Bella joined Edward wearing nothing in the beach... When they made love the first time... Especially the part when Bella was turned into a vampire; then that first night she and Edward made love and she realized that there's no need for her to go to the bathroom... or that she won't be getting tired at all... that she and Edward could go on and on and on and on.....and on!"

Kristen: *Rolls eyes*  "You're kidding me right?"

Rob:  "Oh, not at all, Babe.  I considered the age range of Twilight followers and I'm thinking if the book was accepted the way it was written, so why not an AUTHENTIC MOVIE VERSION? 

Kristen:  "So, you want the rest of the word see us naked?  Making love? 

Rob:  *Now in deep thought*  "Ummmmmmmmm.... We can always do it realistically but with a soft blanket draping us... you know, so that Edward and Bella enjoy their honeymoon and so they can totally express their undying love for each other.  I bet Bella will enjoy that! *winks*  She's been trying to convince Edward to fuck her... I mean to make love to her."

Kristen:  *Laughs* "So what else did you write in your email?"

Rob:  *Taps the mouse*  "I just said that Bella should be TOTALLY PREGNANT.  Not a fake pregnancy... you know... no props... no, nothing!"

Kristen: *Eyes bulging; now hands on hips*  "And how do you propose we do that, Mr. Robert Pattinson?"

Rob:  *Shakes head*  "Really, Kristen?  Do you have to ask that?  Of course, I'll have to get you pregnant.  Duh!"

Kristen:  *Raises hands in surrender*  "Okay... supposing you get me pregnant... You do know that we're shooting in November... this year... two thousand ten... My tummy will still be flat by then... And if we shoot pregnant Bella early next year, I'd only be like 5 or 6 months pregnant... Meaning, I'll only have a small bump!  Did you forget that Bella had a huge stomach when she was carrying Renesmee?"

Rob:  "Well, if we try do it now..."

Kristen:  "You're not listening to me, Rob... There's just no way!"

Rob:  "But can we try anyway?"  *Puppy eyes*

Kristen:  "So, tell me this though... If you want the movie to be truly autentic and all... Did you think about how Bella gave birth to Renesemee?  Bella almost died, Rob.  And since you're not an AUTHENTIC vampire... How are you going to save her?"

Rob:  *Gasps.. Taking Kristen into his arms... Gripping her tightly*  "NO!!! I'm sorry, baby!"

Kristen:  *Rolls eyes* 

Rob:  "I'm going to retract my email, Baby.  I'll just tell them to make the honeymoon and all  the love scenes authentic."

Kristen:  *Sighs*  "Okay, babe.  Go finish your email.  I'll go check the loquat pie in the oven."



  1. YOU HAVE A BLOG??????!!!!!!!!!!! that's AMAZING! i just know this is gonna be my favorite!

  2. Your little RK dialogs always make my days/nights! LMAO