Saturday, August 28, 2010


(I'll be damned if this is real! LOL)

Dear Diary,
Today’s “To do” list:

1. Email my baby
2. Put out the garbage
3. Call my baby
4. Do the dishes
5. Text my baby
6. Pick up the clothes
7. Google my baby, then text my baby
8. Change bed sheet and pillow cases
9. Call my baby
10. Do laundry
11. Text my baby
12. Call my baby
13. Feed Jella & take care of his litter box
14. Decorate
15. Shower
16. Call my baby and put her on speaker phone
17. “Take care” of baby and me!
18. Nighty-night!

Above is my “To Do” list before my baby and I reunite. I miss her so much. It’s always hard being away from her. And although we locked ourselves up last weekend, before my baby left for Argentina, and made love like it’s the last night of the word – well, two times for every day that we’re apart, that is! Not much, really, hehehe… It was one of the best weekends of my freakin’ twenty-four years of existence. You’d think our strenuous activities last weekend would make our separation easier. NOT AT ALL. If anything, it made it even harder. I yearn for her touch every fucking minute, it’s not funny anymore.

When I go to bed after we talk on the phone, I begin to miss her even more that my heart breaks; it’s hard to breathe. But this suffering should be over soon. She’s coming home to me! We promised that we’re not going to be apart for a long duration of time if we can help it. We’ll always find a way to be together NO FUCKING MATTER WHAT!

I’m now on #10 of my To Do List. I gotta admit I did not follow the list the way I’ve written it. Well…

#1, I texted my baby “good morning” when I woke up.
#2, I emailed my baby telling her I love her and I miss her --- that was after I texted her.
#3, I called her after I texted her, just in case she didn’t get my text and email. We talked for over an hour. That made me very happy.
#4, I texted her again to tell her I enjoyed our talk over the phone, and that I miss her and I love her.
#5 I emailed her to tell her I texted and I still miss her and I love her! Then, before I could do
#6 on my list, I received a text and an email from my baby telling me that she got my texts and email. So instead, I texted her back and emailed her back thanking her for texting me and emailing back, and that I miss her and I love her.  Ha! That's not so confusing, is it?

So, on with my list…

#7 I had to go back to #2 on my list. A very daunting chore! Putting out the garbage! Well, that’s done. I did the dishes, too. How I’ve used 8 cups, 10 glasses, 5 plates, 12 forks, 3 knives in addition to some containers and lids is beyond me. Honestly! Kristen left the kitchen spic and span.

Oh, yeahhhh! My baby baked her famous loquat crumbles. Two! Just for me, before she left. She prepared chili verde, marinara sauce for my pasta noodles; she put them in individual containers, so that I could easily microwave my food. Hmm… My baby can cook! My honey really takes care of me… Fuck! I miss her again! I guess I will never, ever, stop missing her. I need to text her again, dear diary. I gotta let her know I appreciate her and I love her… and I miss her.

So, I picked my clothes up, changed the bedding and now I’m doing the laundry --- Oops! I hear the sound of the dryer… be right back!

Bloody hell! How in the world did a white Egyptian cotton linen – 1,020 thread-count – become pink?!? Noooo! I’m dead! Kristen is going to kill me! We christened that sheet before she left for Argentina… literally before she walked out the door to go to the airport. She loved that linen. She rolled her fucking, perfect body seductively over it, enjoyed its texture, and while she did that, the linen captured my baby’s sweet, addictive scent. That bed sheet was my best friend until I killed it just now. I’d better call my mom and ask her what I should do. Or order another set online.

Time to Google my baby, dear diary!

I guess my Daddy misses my mommy more than I do. He’d gone mad from missing her. He was smiling when he said, “Time to Google mommy, Jella!” Then, a few minutes later, he started pacing the room. He stops every now and then to stare at his laptop’s monitor. A throaty groan would escape his throat every darn time. Hell, I was waiting for smoke to come out from daddy’s ears.

Slowly, I crawled on the couch to see what’s on the screen. Ha! It was mommy! I can see daddy’s fingers twitch; itching to call mommy. But he knows mommy’s working. Daddy can't stop pacing! Daddy’s giving me freakin’ headache.

I looked at the screen again and I couldn’t figure out what’s upsetting daddy. Mommy was wearing her hoodie; and was actually layered! Then I saw it… Owwww…. I couldn’t help but smirk and wanted to hit the back of daddy’s head if I could! It wasn’t like mommy was intentionally showing off her cleavage. Gosh! Sure her satin bra was peeking a bit… but so what? I’ve met and spent time with Grandma & Grandpa Pattz, Aunt Lizzie and Aunt Vicky. They’re civilized people. So, I don’t know why daddy was turning into a caveman for no reason at all! Was he adopted? Hmm…

I wasn’t surprised when daddy ended up calling mommy. I heard him say mommy was only allowed to wear low-cut shirts when she’s with him. No compromise on that matter (according to daddy. I didn’t hear what mommy said).  He groaned, moaned, snapped, hissed, smiled, laughed…. It’s very confusing, really. After the call though, daddy was in a better mood. Mommy really knows how to make daddy smile.

Well, I’d better go nap. This is going to be a long day! I saw some signs, banner, balloons , and streamers earlier. Daddy said he’s decorating for mommy. I told him “Good luck with that!” But of course, what came out from my mouth was, “MEOW!”


… Well, Kristen and I compromised, dear diary. My baby shut down my suggestion about her not wearing any more low-cut top when I’m not with her. I suggested turtle-necks and she cut it right there! But… we agreed that when I’m not with her, she’s not going to wear any lace, satin or sexy bras. I will shop for her online tonight. I’m buying her comfy, cotton sports bras! My baby loves Nikes, right? It wouldn’t be so bad. I’m just looking out for her welfare, that’s all!  Hmm... How about those nursing bras that cover the "entire" boobies?  I'm going to google that later. 

She will wear a sports bra when I’m not with her. But when we’re together… That’s another story. She needs not wear a bra if I have my say! Oh, right… I have my say! I’m her fucking boyfriend! She belongs to me!

I have lots of things to do before my baby is back in my arms. I still have to put up the banner that says, “Welcome home, Baby!” I bought streamers and party hats, and balloons… and lots of party supplies. My Kristen and I are going to have a REUNION PARTY! Maybe we can wear the paper hats and nothing else… Shit, dear diary… I’d better go take a loooooong cold shower.

Until later… Rob.


Mommy will be here soon. She’s gonna be mad. Daddy turned the house into a big mess. I helped him, of course. He held me up wanting me to tie the string of the WELCOME HOME banner. My paws don’t flex the way daddy wanted them to. So, he, stepped on the couch, fell, hit mommy’s favorite figurine – it broke of course – landed on the coffee table and broke the glass top! Of course daddy freaked out. He tried to vacuum the shattered glass which broke the vacuum cleaner in the process.  He, one by one, picked up the broken glass, cut himself, and blood was all over the fluffy white carpet. Daddy’s fine. It’s a small cut. Then, he tried to blow each balloon up, couldn’t even finish one, and left them on the counter. I played with them, of course. I thought daddy gave up on it.  Let’s just say I’m on a “time out!”

Daddy was persistent though. In spite of his earlier ordeal, he refuses to give up. He wanted the damn WELCOME HOME banner up for mommy. He’s now standing on a chair.

If I could talk, I would tell him about the expensive, durable, ladder sitting in the garage. I can’t talk! Not my fault!

Ah-oh! I think mommy's here!!!


  1. i love this, rob and jella at home.

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  3. ate ofie made up for not updating soon?and haba ah this fiction rob and jella home alone hehehe

  4. I bet Rob and Kris are always sending,texting msg.I really can picture RK this way. It's so cute! You bring a huge smile to my face! The're so good your diaries/dialogs.Excellent job, dear!

  5. ahhhhh always love ur story n robsten funnies too my dear ofie...

    cant wait for next story, hmmmm bout "reunion" party, right?? *wink*

  6. lmao!!So cute, sweet, n funny like hell!u nailed AGAIN bb!now i am addicted to this blog..its all ur fault!!*saying w/*

  7. awww this is so sweet and funny :)

  8. I perfectly can figure out Rob doing all this thing! hahaha!
    Ate you ROCKS! GIRL Im totally addicted to this're better and better with every R/K dialogues....
    Ate I wish do you made a Rob diary entry where all kids are know how Rob is Jelous, possesive and territorial I guess that will be very funny see him dealing with all his little ladies hahaha!

  9. Awww... Thank you for your kind comments. I think I can see Rob being so protective, pulling his hair out when his and Kristen's daughters start to date!

    I appreciate your comments more than you know. Take care. --- O

  10. This blog is great. You should do a Rob reaction about Kristen playing with that baby boy in the VIP in the Argentinian airport. Rob wants a son and Kristen likes babies. Think and write.

  11. Nicole...I thought the same when I saw that video omg! kris playing with that baby boy...Damm! she didn't know what her was doing...the girl opened the hell's door, I bet Rob is right now in 9 cloud, you know he wanna be a young daddy...from now the guy will be over her trying to convince her to make their own baby to playing with...
    ate... definitively should write about it... fun guaranteed thats for sure! hahaha.... Rob's reaction will be priceless!

  12. Gosh I've just discovered this blog and I'm hooked, your stories are fab, where is the video of kristen playing with the baby anyone?? keep up the writing. Deb x

  13. Thank you so much for your kind words, BBs. I will try to make this blog as entertaining as possible. Sometimes ideas don't come to be easily. I'm motivated, though. Because of you who read this blog dedicated to the most amazing couple: Rob and Kristen... and Jella of course (and their friends and family)...LOL!