Kristen: *On the phone* “So are you almost here?”Robert: *On the phone* “Yes, babe. Almost.”
Kristen: *On the phone* “Good. How much longer, baby?”
Robert: *On the phone* “Roughly five hours.”
Kristen: *On the phone* “Oh. I thought… *Sighs* Well, never mind then… I’ll just put the whip cream and chocolate syrup back in the fridge and put my clothes back on… *in her husky voice* Would you rather I wear the black Jean Paul Gaultier lingerie you bought me, babe? Remember how the sheer material hugged my ass when I tried it on? Just, umm, text me when you're almost here so I can fill the tub... I bet you're muscles need massaging... I'll bathe you, baby... in the nude... *breathes seductively* I'll take care of you, baby... when YOU GET HERE! Well, I’ll just go…”
Robert: *On the phone… Breathing hard* “Don’t you fucking move, babe! Shit! I’m COMING!”
Sam: “What the hell? You fuckin’ ran through a red light!”
Tom: *Whispering to Sam* “HE DIDN’T MEAN TO STEP ON THE ACCELERATOR… He’s on the phone with his Viagra… something twitched… you know… involuntary movement of MUSCLES!”
Sam: “What?”
Tom: “Yup! She has him in the palm of her hands… figuratively and literally!”
Rob: “Fuck! My baby’s hot!!! WE ARE NOT STOPPING…”
Sam: “But I’m thirsty!”
Rob: “Fucking swallow your spit!” *Steps harder on the gas*
Oh yes she is his viagra! LMAO
ReplyDeleteIt's awesome!As always.
Loved loved loved :D
ReplyDeleteToo funny! Your humour is amazing... I just love it! Thank you, thank you for sharing it. ROTFLMAO
ReplyDeleteYUP! Kristen is Rob's own viagra's brand!
ReplyDeleteDrivers of the world you better watch out!!! a very HOT Rob driving is REALLY DANGEROUS!
I'M TERRIFIED....HAHAHA!
ATE AS ALWAYS YOU CRACK ME UP GIRL!
Kristen is definitely Rob's personal brand of viagra. I'm still LMAO!
ReplyDeleteohhhh ofie, i love this.... LMAO
ReplyDeletehahhaha
ReplyDeleteOh God that was so funny!
I love all your stories and I post this one in my blog :D
Check it out if u want http://twilightaddictionn.tumblr.com/post/1090761441/amazxing-nottrue-robsten-story-by
So funny thanks you , i can't wait to read what you will write when he's in NOLA
ReplyDeleteand how was Jella ? ;)
Hey, sweeties. I'm so relieved you liked this post. I was worried it's a little "out of hand." LOL! Thank you again, so, so much, for your comments. I really cannot wait to see some Robsten Sightings in NOLA!
ReplyDeleteJust woke up the whole house. This was classic. Tom: “Yup! She has him in the palm of her hands… figuratively and literally!” LOL!!! You are brillant.
ReplyDelete