Monday, November 8, 2010


YEAR 2016
Rob, Jr.: “Daddy, can we go to Sea World in San Diego, please?”

Rob: *Stern voice* NO!

Rob, Jr.: “But, why not?”

Rob: *Looks away* “Um, because your brothers are still too young!... We have to wait until they’re a little older.”

Rob, Jr.: “Well, I’m five and my brothers are 4 and 2! We’re all big now, Daddy!!!

Rob:  *Sighs* “Why do you want to go to Sea World? Why not Disneyland or Universal Studios?”

Rob, Jr.: “I want to see the dolphins, Daddy… I want to play with them… swim with them…”

Rob: *Cringes* “Dolphins are vicious, son!!!”

Rob, Jr.: “NO!!! That’s not what the TV says!!!”

Rob: “Well, they don’t know what they’re talking about!”

Rob, Jr.: “Mommyyyyyyyy!!!”

Rob: “Shhh..Shhh… okay…okay…”

Kristen: “Rob, what are you telling your son again?”

Rob:  “What? I’m not doing anything. Your son wants to go to San Diego… And with your condition and all, Baby, I said, no.  I’m just thinking of you, of course! You’re 8 weeks pregnant!” *Winks at Kristen*

Kristen: *Squints her eyes at Rob and turns to Rob, Jr.* “Robbie, sweetie, what’s the matter?”

Rob, Jr.: “I want to go to Sea World, Mommy, in San Diego.”

Kristen: “Well, let’s ask Daddy.” *Raises eyebrow at Rob*

Rob, Jr.: *Whines* “But Dad will say no.  He says DOLPHINS ARE VICIOUS!”

Kristen: *Suppresses laughter* “He did?!? Hmm… Um… Well…” *Turns to Rob* “Let’s ask Daddy why he thinks Dolphins are vicious.”

Rob, Jr.: “Yeah, Dad.  What’s wrong with dolphins?”

Rob:  “They, um…” *Glares at Kristen*

Kristen: *Starting to lose it!* “Yes?”


Kristen: *Guffaws* “Oh, God!  Yeah! I remember…” *Laughs harder*


Kristen: "THAT, THEY ARE!" *Now laughing uncontrollably*

Rob, Jr.: *Eyes his parents* “Dolphins are cool!” *Starts to tear up*

Kristen: *Takes son into her arms* “Oh, baby… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to laugh like that… It’s just that Daddy has an unfortunate experience with dolphins in Brazil…”

Rob: “KRISTEN!!! Jeez!!! Let it go…" *Scrathes head* "Fine, we’ll go this weekend!”

Rob, Jr.: *Beams* “Yey!!! I’m gonna tell my brothers!!!” *Runs upstairs*

Kristen: *Continues to laugh hard* “Oh, God…!!!”

Rob: *Flashes dirty look at Kristen* “Quit while you’re ahead!”

Kristen: “Well, if you didn’t have to be Mr. Know-It-All… You would have known that Dolphins…”

Rob:  *Tackles Kristen* “Shut up…”

Kristen: “Rob, stop it!” *giggles*

Rob:  “Promise you’ll forget about those fuckin’ dolphins!”

Kristen: *Smirks* “Rob, baby… SHARKS!!! Those were SHARKS!!! Not Dolphins!!! You don’t swim and play with SHARKS!!!

Rob: “You’re laughing now but you were hysterical then…”

Kristen:  *Chuckles* “WELL, YOU FUCKIN’ JUMP OFF THE BOAT!!!”

Rob:  “In my defense… We were supposed to be with the dolphins and I thought we already reached our destination.  The boat freakin’ stopped!!!”

Kristen:  “Because you asked them to fuckin’ stop!!!”

Rob:  “Technicalities!!!”

Kristen:  *Snorts*  “Yeah, thank god we have, like, dozens of lifesavers in the boat… Even your bodyguards got scared with your life!”

Rob:  “I have to tell you, though, I didn’t know why everyone started screaming once I jumped.  I wasn’t aware my life was in danger!  I thought that when the crew jumped in the water that they wanted to join me…”

Kristen:  “They jumped to save you, dumbass!!!” *guffawed*

Rob:  “Potato-potayto, tomato-tomayto… They jumped, too!!! So…”

Kristen:  “You were quiet the whole time after that, I got so worried.”

Rob:  *Mumbles*

Kristen:  “What?”

Rob: “I SAID… I WAS FUCKIN’ EMBARRASSED!  I wasn’t scared at all because I didn’t know my life was in danger to begin with! I was pulled out from the water before I knew I was the shark’s lunch!”

Kristen: *Kisses Rob* “Aww, Baby... YOU WERE SO BRAVE!  MY VERY OWN, SHARKMAN!"

Rob: *Flexes muscles*

Kristen:  *Shakes head*  "So, we’re really going to Sea World on Saturday?”

Rob:  “I already said yes to Robbie.  So yeah!”

Kristen:  “Well, SHARKMAN, prepare to swim and play with the dolphins!”


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