Shooting Bella & Edward’s WeddingRob: *Calm & collected* “Okay.”
Billy: “Action!!!”
MUSIC STARTS TO PLAY…
Ten Minutes Later…
Billy: “CUT!” *Turns to Rob* “Really?”
Rob: *Wipes face* “W-What?”
Billy: “Rob… when you see Kristen in her wedding dress, walking towards you... you don’t start crying…” *Exhales*
Rob: *Sobs* “I-I’m not crying!”
Billy: “Right….” *Pats Rob’s back* “Rob… Edward doesn’t shed tears. He can’t! He’s a vampire!”
Rob: “But I’m not Edward!”
Billy: *Stunned* “Listen to me, Rob… Right this very moment…. YOU ARE!!!… YOU ARE EDWRD CULLEN AND YOU ARE MARRYING BELLA SWAN. YOU ARE NOT ROBERT PATTINSON AND YOU ARE NOT MARRYING KRISTEN STEWART!”
Rob: *Now angry* “WHAT?!? Who said that? That’s fucking blasphemy!!!” *Turns seriously to Bill* “Listen to me Bill… I AM ROBERT PATTINSON AND I AM MARRYING KRISTEN STEWART! NO ONE TELLS ME THAT I CANNOT MARRY KRISTEN. WE LOVE EACH OTHER AND WE WILL GET MARRIED SOON” *Breathes hard, then squints eyes* “For all you know we’re already married!!!”
Bill: “Okay… okay… I’m sorry… That’s not what I meant…” *Looks pleadingly at Kristen* “Wanna help here, Kristen?”
Kristen: *Runs into Rob’s arms* “It’s okay, baby…” *Whispers to Rob*
Rob: *Smiles, then, embraces Kristen tightly to him*
Bill: *Yells* “Okay… position, everyone…”
Thirty minutes later….
Bill: “No! NO! Nooooo! CUT!”
Kristen: *Smiles guiltily*
Bill: “Kristen… You don’t leave your shoes by the stairs and go running into Rob’s arms!!!”
Kristen: “I know… I know…”
Bill: *Looks at Rob* “And Rob………….”
Rob: *Stares at Bill with innocent eyes* “What?”
Bill: *Shakes head…. Sighs heavily* “….Nothing……”
Another half an hour later….
Bill: “Kristen… it’s EDWARD!!! Ed-Ward!!! NOT ROBERT…”
Rob: “But that’s okay, right? Besides Robert Pattinson is a better name than Edward Cullen!!!” *Sulks*
Bill: *Eyes the two* “When you say your vows, you don’t say, “Robert Thomas Pattinson, take this ring as a sign of my love and loyalty. In sickness and in health… Till death do us part!!!” *Turns to Rob* “And you, Mr. Cullen…. You don’t utter Kristen’s name… You don’t say, “I take you, Kristen Jaymes Stewart…." This is not your wedding. This is Edward’s and Bella’s nuptial!” *Shakes head* “Ay-yay-yay…”
Robert: *Smiles* “Can we at least try? I mean, can we try and pretend that Edward and Bella don’t exist… just one time, please…”
Kristen: “Yeah! That's a good idea, sweetie!... Let’s pretend it’s our wedding rehearsal… you know… When Rob and I get married like this….” *Raises hands to emphasize the decorations and the pristine set*
Bill: "NO!!! AND THAT, YOUNG ONES, is my final answer... Now let's go back to the part where you are saying your vows..."
Twenty minutes later...
Rob & Kristen: "What? What did we do now?"
Bill: "What the hell???... Is that how you are going to kiss when you, two, get married?"
Rob: *Smug* "Pretty much!!!"
Kristen: *Giggles*
Bill: "Rob, put Kristen down. NOW!"
Kristen: *Hesitatnly untangles herself off of Rob!*
Bill: *Drinks water from the bottle* "Really? That's how you see yourselves kissing the first time as Mr. & Mrs. Robert Pattinson?" *Glares at Kristen* "You're really going to jump into his arms, wrap your legs around Rob's waist... while you..." *glares at Rob* "...hold her ass, then kiss her open mouth, no less..." *Cringes* "...moaning, then licks Kristen's mouth... Then you..." *Points at Rob and Kristen* ... then you start attacking each other's throat?"
Rob: *Giddy* "HOT, HUH?"
Kristen: *Shows concern* "Was that too innocent, Bill? D-Do you want us to do more... Coz... Sure, we can do better if that's what you want... for Edward and Bella, of course?"
Bill: "Shock*
Rob: "OH, is that what it is? Were we too mild, Bill. Well, I can always carry my baby, then, sit her on the podium, then..."
Bill: *Starts to hyperventilate* "That's okay, Rob... Let's keep it PG13. Okay?"
Rob: *Raises hand* “Oh, I have an idea... Bill, listen... You're gonna love this….”
Bill: “NO!” ****Pulls bottle of his NEW PRESCRIPTION MEDS from his pants’ pocket****
And Bill thought shooting the honeymoon scenes was excruciating…. Ha! Well, he found out sooner (rather than later) that that's not the case at all!!!
(Oh, by the way… which I’m sure you know… This is freakin’ fiction… Totally…Promise!!!--- Tee-hee....And,oh, by the way, if you are the owner of the photos posted on ths blog... Thank you very much!!! ---Ofie)
Rob and Kris will be the death of Bill. OMgosh i was laughing out loud here and it's fucking 1a.m. LMAO Nice, incredible job.
ReplyDeleteAte Ofie,I have been reading your blog for a while now,but this is the first time that I have posted a comment.You're awesome and have a good sense of humor.Keep up the good work and post everyday please.I'm a die hard Robsten supporters.
ReplyDeleteI have to stop reading your blog at night. I wake up everyone from laughing so hard. This is hilarious. Poor Bill thought working with Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson was hardwork. He had no idea these horny kids would push him too the limit. Love it. Keep up the funnies Ate Ofie.
ReplyDeleteThat was so funny,lol, I could just picture it happening. I mean can't you just see these two acting this whole scene out completely the same.
ReplyDeleteHello, my dear bbs!!! LOL!!! Thank you so much for your comments. Every time I write these things, I giggle, imagining them in my head... imagining that the scenarios I'm writing is what's really taking place. Who knows? This couldn't be far from the truth, right? Thanks again, my dearies, for visiting Robsten For Life blog!!! *Hugs*
ReplyDeleteLOL..Bill must be exhausted!Those lovebirds..le sigh..
ReplyDeleteBB, u r really having fun with Robsten de Janeiro!lol
Ate love love the dialog " For all you know we are already married!!!" *wink *wink *nudge *nudge :))
ReplyDeleteOoooooh, that top black & white pic gives me butterflies in my tummy.....how long do we have to wait until that pic is in People magazine and is for REAL????? That will truly be the most epic day in Robsten history. Like when Kennedy was shot and Elvis died? Yeah, you'll always remember what you were doing when you heard Robsten tied the knot. Errr....at least I will! LOL!
ReplyDeletei laughting like crazy
ReplyDelete