Saturday, January 22, 2011

"Analyzing these looney toons pining for Rob!”

*** In case you did not see the disclaimer on the bottom of this page:    
THIS IS FICTION (I had this written but forgot to post…
So, the content is sort of “late” or “old news” already! LOL!
Sorry!  My bad!  But I’m still posting this… hehehe…***

Tom:  “So that’s the latest?”

Rob:  “Nah!  The latest was I’ll be hooking up with Keira Knightley.”  *Rolls eyes*

Tom:  “So, what’s upsetting you, then?”

Rob:  “That fucking mystery blonde girl at the Golden Globes.”

Tom:  *Smirks*  “The blonde without a face, eh?”

Rob:  “It’s just so ridiculous!  I mean, what kind of a person do they think I am?  It’s disconcerting, really.”  *Shakes head*  “I mean… these people claim to “adore” me…  I mean, how can they adore someone who’s obviously in a relationship, then when he goes out without his girl, he sneaks around with another?… Going as far as meeting that alleged girl elsewhere for a lousy fuck…”  *Sighs*  “If that was me, I wouldn’t even like myself.  I’d lose self-respect.”  *Cringes*  “Why would this people “adore” me then if I were that shallow?  If I were that fucking brainless and heartless human being, huh?  If I were that douche bag of a man?”

Tom:  “Because these people want you for themselves!”

Rob:  *Groans*  “And they want me because I’m a two-timing son of a bitch?!?  It just doesn’t make sense.”

Tom:  *Serious face*  “Didn’t some of those loonies post threats on Kristen?  As in describing how they’re going to hurt her!”

Rob:  *Fumes*  “I’ll fucking get them first!”

Tom:  “So this non-existent blonde?”

Rob:  “A product of their twisted imagination.”

Tom:  “You didn’t stay long at the after-party… You went home…”

Rob:  “First of all I was under the weather that day.  I was so tired.  All I wanted to do was rest and spend time with my baby.  So, when I got the chance to leave, I left!  I knew Kristen was waiting for me.  She, too, wasn’t feeling well.  I was worried and I just wanted to go home and take care of her.”

Tom:  “Ows?”

Rob:  *Grins*  “Fine!  We took excellent care of each other.  Okay?”

Tom:  *Laughs*  “Don’t waste your energy analyzing these crazy toons pining for you.”

Rob:  “That’s what Kristen said.”

Tom:  *Quiet*

Rob:  “What’s the matter?”

Tom:  “Who’s your bestfriend, Rob?”

Rob:  *Narrows eyes*  “Really?  You gotta ask me that?”

Tom:  *Clears throat*  “I’m, uh, just kidding.”

Rob:  “Oh, I forgot to tell you.  I met Andrew Garfield.”

Tom:  “… So going back to my question…”

Kristen:  “Hey, sweetie!” *Turns to Tom*  “Hi, Tom!”

Rob:  “It’s Kristen!  The answer to your question.  But you're my best friend, too!”  *Wraps hands around Kristen’s waist*

Tom:  *Rolls eyes*

Kristen:  “What?”  *Leans closer to Rob*

Tom:  *Smiles sheepishly*  “So Kristen… What’s your take on those rumors, speculation, gossip, what have you… About Rob “romancing” Keira Knightley or him leaving the Golden Globe’s After Party with a blonde?”

Kristen:  *Giggles*  “Tom?  Do you really have to ask me that?  Who is he holding now?  Tightly so, if I may add!”

Rob:  *Kisses Kristen*

Tom:  “God!  You, two, are just so fucking obvious!  I don’t get it?  Why do these people even bother to make up such stupid stories.  One look at you, guys, even when you’re trying to conceal the, ah, real… you know…the real score… It just shows!” *Continues to mumble*

R/K:  *Quiet*

Tom:  “Oh, shit!  You’re at it again!”

R/K:  “What?”

Tom:  “Eye-fucking galore!  Are you aware that you were eye fucking each other on National Television at the People’s Choice Awards?”

Kristen:  “Oh, I thought I was such a witch, pushing Rob away or something?”

Rob:  “Little.Did.They.Know!”

Tom:  “Oh, God…”  *Scratches head*  “I gotta go find Taylor.  I need to catch up with him.  I’ll see you, two, later!”

R/K:  *Quiet… Sort of…*

Tom:  “Damn!  You are just… Never mind…”


  1. i thought getting first hand and true info or whatever ehem on Robsten would be from their immediate families..i was wrong it should be from Tom or Taylor LOL^^ again you never fail to make me laugh ate're the best!!!!! :)

  2. I'm giggling along with you, Sollee!!!