Thursday, November 25, 2010

HOW JELLA'S PARENTS, ROB & KRISTEN, PREPARE FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER!

(Photo is not mine... if this is yours, thank you very much, I hope you don't mind me using it.  If not, please let me know and I will take it out.  Thank you again).

Dear Diary,

I know… I know… I have not written to you for a while now; and so I apologize to you first before I continue on with my thoughts.  Anyway, dear diary of mine, Happy Thanksgiving.  Yup! It’s that time of year again.  So many things to be thankful for.  But mostly, I’m thankful for my family:    My mom, Kristen; my dad Rob; my FamilyStew and FamilyPattz.

Yesterday, I was given the best reason to be thankful because I was the happiest Jella in the world.  My mommy & daddy came home after spending so much time with Louis and Anna. 

Louis and Anna could be relatives.  I don’t know.  I mean, the fact that mommy & daddy spend so much time with them make me believe that they are good people and fun to be with.  It’s probably because of their baton to groove.  Yeah!  Weird!

I know this because I overheard Uncle Tay told Grandma Jules a week or so ago that Rob & Kristen (my mom & dad, duh!) were on their way back to baton and groove with Louis and Anna, after spending two weeks with Rio.  Uncle Taylor yelled, "baton groove, baby!"  I’m still confused, dear diary.  Who the hell’s Rio?  All these people my parents are spending so much time with and I have yet to meet any of them. 

And what’s with the baton?  I mean, come on!  My parents strum their guitar when they want to groove… But with a baton?  I cringe as I think of what they could be doing with a baton!  Uncle Tom did say my parents are kinky! I am not sure what that means, actually; but for some reason, I associate kinky with baton.  I guess that’s from spending too much time with my Uncles.

I am ecstatic that mommy & daddy are spending so much time with each other.  God, I’ve never seen such miserable people like my mom & dad when they’re apart.  The distance was their constant nemesis in the past months.  I do understand why they have to leave me though.  I’m not upset.  I promise.  I know that they’re not just grooving with Louis and Anna, but they’re also working.  You know… They have to earn the dough for my future human siblings!  For our family!  That’s what daddy & mommy say all the time.  

Daddy wanted to start working on the human babies with mommy; but mommy said they have to wait until they finish breaking dawn!  Believe me, dear diary, if I knew where to find that dawn, I’d break it myself!  Yeah, with a baton!!!---  Oh, wait… I can’t do it with a baton!  I have paws, not hands!  Shoot!  Ohhhh… Wait a minute… Maybe… just maybe, my sharp claws will break that dawn to pieces!  Then my parents can start working on that baby brother or sister of mine.  Yeah!  This is what I’m going to do, dear diary: I’m going to act sad, like, really depressed, so that daddy and mommy will bring me back with them to see Louis and Anna… Because I have a feeling that’s where I’m going to find this dawn to break.

So, mommy took me in her arms and embraced me so lovingly. Then, daddy took us both in his arms.  We had a warm family hug.  I cried cat tears, dear diary… cat-tears-of-joy!  I was savoring the fuzzy feeling in my little tummy when suddenly, my mom turned to daddy and asked him with incredulous eyes:  “Really?!?”  There’s this unfathomable smirk on my daddy’s face, his eyes shimmering with love… and something else.

“Now?”  My mommy asked.  I felt her hold loosen a little bit.  I meowed that meow mommy loves to hear.  Then, daddy starts attacking mommy with wet kisses on her neck.  So, I started licking mommy’s arm.  She cooed and she ran her fingers through my shiny fur.  I purred.  I have missed mommy’s touch so much.  Her love for me is the most constant in my life.  Then, I found myself suddenly on the couch.  What the hell?!?  I looked up and saw that I have lost the battle to hunger once again.  Daddy must have been really hungry.  I understand.  They have to ride the plane to come home to me.  So, I curled comfortably and watched my parents fed each other with their mouths. 

Up to this day, I don’t get why mommy and daddy have to make those sounds.  I mean… I don’t moan when I lick my fur!  God!  Believe me, dear diary, my parents are loud… Every.  Time.  Before, I didn’t see the need for them to undress each other.  But, after I’ve seen them do that many times, I began to understand that human skin has different flavors.  I’m smart, ha?  Yes, sir, I am! 

See, when my dad licks my mom’s neck, he makes this sound, like a moan, but soft... and he’s gentle.  I’ve come to conclusion that mommy’s neck tastes like an appetizer. 

When my dad’s mouth descends on my mommy’s tummy and belly button… He becomes more active.  I’m guessing that mommy’s tummy part tastes like one of her dishes that daddy loves. 

Then… this is the best part, by the way… The reason why daddy has to always pull mommy’s skinny jeans and undies is that, his favorite flavor lies between mommy’s thighs.  That’s when he begins to devour… not just lick… when he’s at this point, he acts like the hungry man that he is. 

Daddy slurps and gobbles, making that loud--- that slushy noise.  I admire mommy how she gives so much of herself to daddy.  She would just give and give while whimpering… telling daddy to eat her more… When daddy’s had a serving of mommy, he has this look on his face… it’s something I cannot fully described.  It’s more than adoration… it’s so much more!  Mommy must be really delicious there!  Probably better than her loquat pie that daddy loves so, so much!

Mommy, then, takes daddy in her arms, her hands all over daddy while gulping daddy’s mouth…twisting their bodies so that she can be on top this time.  It’s her turn to nourish herself.   Like mommy, daddy is a giving person.  I know that he is willing to give anything and everything to mommy.  He offers himself to mommy, even guiding her head with his hands when it’s time for mommy to sip daddy’s crotch. That part, too, is my mommy’s favorite.  When mommy gets to that part, she gets so excited that she bobs her head up and down, greedily consuming… glugging every bit of Daddy’s taste!  This always makes daddy pant, convulse like one of my toys!  

My parents’ feeding ritual is somewhat odd.  Not only do they feed each other with their mouths… on their face… I mean… I only found out that humans have two mouths in their body!  I bet you didn’t know that, ha, dear diary!  See, you learn something from me, too, every time.  Yup!  I’m telling you.  That’s the reason why they have to wear panties and boxers because they have to hide the other mouth.  Why?  Because that other mouth is greedy.  It only eats its own kind.  Yes.  Another mouth!  It’s hard to explain.  See, the mouth on the face, eats human food; like burger, rice, soup… and other stuff.  But that mouth that they hide between their legs?  That’s the mouth that eats skin. 

Let me explain…

So, after mommy and daddy feed each other, they lay uncovered on the rug… or the bed… or couch… or the dining table… or… well, you get my drift….  They’re always entwined, their mouths constantly finding one another.  After a short while, depending who’s hungrier, daddy hovers over mommy, aligning his crotch to my mom’s… pushing… offering that piece of skin that hangs in his groin into my mommy’s other mouth!  And, boy, does that mouth of hers chomps! 

This feeding ritual amazes me.  Mom & dad, then, become vigorous…Like they’re fighting, but they’re really not.  They seem to incite the hunger because the need becomes so much more intense.  Not only do they allow their crotch’s mouths gorge each other; but their head-mouth also consumes… their hands don’t know where to stay… Dad is not always sure whether to pinch, flick or rub mommy’s chest… Mom doesn’t know whether to pull daddy’s head even closer to her (which, by the way, is always glued to her face in this form of feeding!)… or run them on daddy’s back…

Okay… So as I was saying… Last night, after my mommy and daddy finally finished feeding each other, they showered and napped.  Then, mommy woke up a while later, leaving daddy to catch more sleep.  She, then, picked up, and poured goodies into my bowl.  I love mommy so much.  She knows the way to my heart.  *Sigh*
“Time to prepare for tomorrow’s Thanksgiving dinner, Jella.”  My mommy announced as she pulled some ingredients from the pantry.  I think she’s making the pies that daddy and I love.

I watched as mommy mixed the stuff, then, started kneading.  My mommy’s cute when concentrating.  Wait, what am I saying?  My mommy isn't cute!  She is gorgeous!  Daddy tells her this all the time!

After a while, I saw daddy tiptoeing towards mommy only in his boxers.  I perked up but he put his finger into his lips to shush me.  I was amused. 

My amusement, however, died down instantly when daddy stood behind mommy and wrapped his hands around mommy’s tummy.  Why?  Well, I was hoping to sample mommy’s pies… but as soon as the hand-wrapping occurred, I knew that my hope would remain just that…hope!

See, that hand-wrapping thing always leads to more feeding.  I was right of course.  That time, they fed each other in the kitchen… First on the countertop, while standing… or bending… Then, on the floor, while lying down.  Then, on the kitchen chair…

Needless to say… There’s no Kristen’s pie for Jella this thanksgiving.  But I couldn’t fault dad, though.  I mean… he’s a man and is hungry all the time.  I get that.  And I bet mommy is really that delicious. 

And mommy… Well, what can I say… she’s always hungry for daddy as well. 

This morning, GrandmaStew called to check on her while mommy was running around the kitchen like crazy; making her tortilla soup and marinara sauce.  She attempted to make her famous pie this morning but for some reason, her kneading like that, even with flour on her hair, makes daddy hungry.  Go figure! 

So now… Daddy’s with Uncle Tay, out and about, doing last minute shopping.  Mommy sent the two to buy the best pumpkin pie and apple pie; ingredients that mommy needs for her delicious mashed potatoes, gravy, and cranberry sauce… And for an In & Out burger.  Mommy’s craving…

GrandmaStew is cooking the turkey and ham. 

So, dear diary…. Everything is somewhat back to normal.  Mommy is the kitchen cooking; and once daddy’s back, I’m sure he’s going to play that guitar of his… Then later, a huge family Thanksgiving dinner…  I hope my FamilyPattz in London (NanaPattz, GrandpaPattz & GrandmaPattz, Aunt Lizzie and Aunt Vicky & the rest of my Pattinson clan) will come join us… and Uncle Tom and Aunt Carrie, too!

Thanksgiving is a wonderful occasion, dear diary. I know without one iota of doubt that I am the luckiest being on earth.  I am loved.  My daddy loves and adores my mommy.  My mommy is not only in love with my daddy, but is devoted to him as well.  Their career is soaring… They are loved by their peers and fans.  Their relationship is more solid than ever.  My Pattinson and Stewart family are intact, happy and healthy…

And they all love me!

I’m now a little emo, dear diary… and I have every right to be. 

I will let you know about the dinner later tonight… I’m cat-excited.  I can’t stop meowing!!!

Until then…  Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Always,
The very thankful, Jella Stewart-Pattinson

(None of the photos used is mine... Credit goes to the the owners. No copyright infringement is ever intended... Promise!)

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!!!

3 comments:

  1. Awesome, brilliantly funny & just emo enough to be tender... I just love your humour and writing skill. Thank you!

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  2. Happy Thanksgiving to you~ I crack up when seeing "Believe me, dear diary, if I knew where to find that dawn, I’d break it myself!". I can't help my laughter and I'm in office for God's sake!!~

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  3. Hello @Saphire1231 and Monica!!! Sometimes, I pull my hair because I do not know what to write about. It's takes time to write and sometimes I just post without editing. I work long hours and by the time I get home, I am tired. But because of you, readers of Robsten For Life, and our couple, Rob and Kristen (and their amazing cat, Jella), lol, I am inspired. Thank you for your sweet comments. I appreciate them more very much.

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