Wednesday, January 12, 2011

"HIS BONER... HIS GIRL... HIS PROBLEM!"


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It could be the lighting or whatev! Body suit or not, that honeymoon photo was hot as hell!  Edward and Bella rocked it!  Awesome…

So… Let’s pretend that Kristen did wear a body suit… For the sake of this post… LOL!!!

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NOTE: OF COURSE YOU KNOW IT!!!
BUT JUST TO REITERATE: THIS IS FICTION!!! (TEE-HEE)

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Kristen:  “Why do I have to wear a body suit?”

Bill:  “Because you have to!”

Rob:  “I agree, baby… You need to wear that thing!”

Kristen: *Pouts* “Fine!” *Narrows Eyes at Rob* “You, Mister, are going to pay for this!”

Rob:  *Wide eyes*  “Baby, I’m already paying for this.  I fucking have a permanent boner and it hurts like hell!”

Bill:  *Looks at Rob*  “Hmm… Maybe you should wear a modesty patch…”

Rob:  “Hell, NO!!!  My girl! My boner! My problem! Okay?”

Kristen:  *Sighs*  “This is stupid!” *Mumbles as she went to wear the “body suit.”*  “We do it every night and he demands I wear a body suit? Jeez…”

Bill:  “So why do you agree for the body suit for Kristen?”

Rob:  “Simple.  She’s mine.  I don’t share! Her skin is for my eyes, my touch… I’m greedy like that!”

Bill:  “But didn’t she have, um, sensitive scenes on On The Road!”

Rob: “Don’t go there, Bill!  She has her body double… And I made sure I was there when they shoot those scenes... Not for that reason, of course.  I mean, I can't be away from my baby for a long period of time!  It just happens that they were shooting those scenes while I was visiting her... It's, um, co-incidence, you know... I trust her with every fiber of my being... I have faith in her... As she does in me!”

Bill:  *Giggles* “Oh, of course!  How about her recent film, Welcome to the Rileys?”

Rob:  “We had that figured out.”

Bill:  “So how are you gonna prevent her from doing sexy scenes in the future?”

Rob:  *Smiles”

Bill:  “Well?”

Rob:  “Easy.  I’ll get her pregnant every year for the next 5 years…”

Bill:  *Laughs*  “That’s funny…”  *Stops laughing*  “You’re bloody serious!”

Rob:  “My baby is all for it!”

Bill:  “How do you know that?”

Rob:  “She loves me.”

Bill:  *Shakes head*  “That I can see clearly.”

Kristen:  *Wearing a robe*  “Okay, I’m ready*

Rob:  *Grins*  “Let me see…”

Kristen:  “Okay.”  *Pulls Rob in the corner and gave him a glimpse*

Bill:  “Are you ready?”

Rob:  “Um… Um…”  *Gives Kristen a mean look*  “But…”

Kristen:  “Close your mouth dear…”  *Whispers*  “Now you know.. I’m wearing a body suit from the waist up… But to be even… Since you’re not wearing a modesty patch… I thought, it’s only fair if… I’m BARE there as well…”

Bill:  “Is there a problem, Rob?”

Rob: *Mumbles*  “Yes… and it fucking hurts!”

Kristen:  *Whispers*  “It didn’t have to hurt, sweetie!”

Bill:  *Clears throat*  “Um…. When I say 'cut'…”

Rob:  “…Just… Just leave the room…. Bring the crew with you… And come back after fifteen minutes!”

Bill:  “Oh, boy!”

6 comments:

  1. OMG! Bahaha. Your version of R/K are so bloody hilarious.

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  2. Hahaha... My "third eye" tells me it's close to this... JOKE! Thanks, bb!

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  3. You sure have amazing "third eyes", Ofie hehe! Anyway, do you think she's wearing a body suit? :P

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  4. I really have to stop reading this at night. I laughed so hard and loud. And Ofie I like your "third eye". You rock!

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  5. haha LOL!!! our RK really enjoys working with Bill and Bill enjoys working with RK as well haha..if K gets pregnant in real life after BD i'm sure RK will get Bill as a Godfather of their first born child LOL^_~

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  6. I love that many of your posts involve baby talk. ^^

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